Bringing New Year Resolutions into Focus
Remember December?
The month when you were in the midst of the Christmas season, caught up in festivities and traditional celebrations.
Even if you don’t celebrate the holidays you feel hopeful because a new year is coming. As you ride the calendar into January an invisible wall goes up that seems to separate you from the past year. This year things will be different. You just know it.
Life feels fresh and new as the clock strikes midnight. Amidst the melancholy notes of Auld Lang Syne and the clinking of champagne glasses you kiss in the New Year, and within a few weeks 90% of you kiss the idea of your resolution goodbye. What a fickle bunch.
Gradually the thrill of the season diminishes and life returns to normal, except for one thing — your resolution. It’s less attractive in this new light, stripped of friendly sentiments and the glow of a new year with potential.
When Resolutions Live in Your Mind
The trouble with making resolutions is they’re made when you’re in a mindset that comes once per year. When you fall back into a normal routine, you don’t resonate with the mindset you were in when you made your promise.
Routine is a favourite hangout of the inner critic. Change awakens that consciousness and your attention is distracted back to the call of your familiar habits. This new focus doesn’t fit into the unconscious status quo.
How can you reconcile this difference — be more aware?
Romance Your Resolution to Life
When you awaken your senses, your consciousness is diverted away from thoughts and away from the inner critic. Consciousness is required for sense perception and in this space you are living in the experience.
Appeal to your senses.
Create the mood.
Make it fun.
Fall in love with the process.
If your goal is to eat healthier for example, how can you support this other than the obvious? What energy can you put into setting the stage to allow this to happen? Consider it foreplay.
Buy some inexpensive and jazzy place mats, a new tablecloth or new dishes — something to change your dining experience. Something that you can connect with other than the meal itself. Pamper the experience. Put fresh flowers on the table. Invite a friend over to share favourite dishes. Make it something you WANT to do, not HAVE to do. It becomes a way of life rather than a goal and the art is in the presentation.
If your goal is to cut back on coffee, buy a beautiful new mug for tea or a lovely jug to keep more water at your desk. Enjoy your tea at a different cafe. Shake up your routine. Changing your routine will awaken your senses.
This principle can be applied to other goals too. The key is to know yourself and what pleases you.
Know Yourself and Choose Your Resolution Wisely
Know your strengths and your weaknesses. Be realistic about what you have chosen to do. How will it affect your life?
What led you to make this resolution? If you’re just following the crowd you’re already on the wrong path because statistics have shown that 90% of them will fail.
When you put your heart into this you will grow with it. It will happen naturally when you’re not concentrating on trying. Trying is focused on outcome and comes heavy with expectations — another love of the inner critic by the way. Doing has unlimited possibilities of experience and fun, and moves you forward.
How high are your expectations? How much weight is resting on this resolution you have made? Make sure that you are respecting the balance between what you are putting into this and what you want to take out of it.
Bring your resolution to life. The way you present it will encourage your relationship with it. Appealing to your senses will inspire and motivate you, and move you outside the limits of the mind.
To conclude, I’d like to remind you that until January 31st I am offering Future Self Meditations for free. This is a helpful tool a person can use to step outside of that mental mind chatter and brainstorm strategies to achieve realistic goals.
What do you want to accomplish in this new year? Have you given yourself permission to fail? Or more importantly, have you given yourself permission to succeed? You deserve success.
Photo credit: Natestore’s Photostream on Flickr.com
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{ 14 comments }
Breathing life to resolutions and intention setting is an excellent idea! I like what you said “When you put your heart into this you will grow with it.” More often than not, when it comes to setting goals or resolutions, we are thinking about the “shoulds”…we should do this or we should do that. We are using more of our logical minds. It’s little wonder that a lot of us often fail to follow up on our goal setting or new year plans.
Evelyn Lim’s last blog post..Past Life Memories In Hokkaido
Shouldn’t “resolution” follow action and not the other way around?
Just the word itself connotates “needing” to resolve something.
I choose not to make any resolutions. Instead I get busy with action!
Thank you, Davina, for sharing your insights. I look forward to more:)
“What do you want to accomplish in this new year?”
I’d like to slow down. I’m moving too fast. I started by cutting down on my posting schedule. We’ll see how it goes.
Hi Evelyn.
Thanks. I believe you’re right about that logical mind. It’s a good thing, but it runs out of steam after a while. Not to mention that’s where the inner critic lives.
Hi Henie.
You’re welcome. To answer your question… I guess it depends on which came first… the chicken or the egg? In this case: New Year’s Resolution + Action = Resolution. Does that calculate? I was never any good at math :-)
The last resolution ever I made was more than a decade ago — “to never make another resolution again.” I’ve kept it too!
Hi Vered.
Posting less frequently is a good way to start slowing down. Good luck with your goal. How does that work when everyone around you is moving at breakneck speed?
Fall in love with the process is a great way to put it.
If I find that emotional link between my goals and myself I have half the job done :)
Romance your resolution to life – I like that :)
Maya’s last blog post..Preparing to Believe in Yourself: The Science of Ditchiness
I guess I am resolved on just accepting each day and working on myself as a whole. Instead of setting expecations for myself in single terms (drop 15 lbs, run each day, sleep 8 hours) I just want to concentrate on being a better person to myself with broader terms (health, emotion, acceptance). In the past I have learned that “trying” never gets me very far. “Living” each day to the fullest will. Changing up the routines is a wonderful plan. I need to walk at different locations. Try a new place to dine. Go to new garden to visit.
What a wonderful post.
Cricket’s last blog post..I Do Have an Imagination
Hi J.D.
And it works too!
Hi Maya.
Halfway there — I like that! And with that momentum, how can you miss?
Hi Tammy.
Thanks! You are kind to yourself, and smart too :-)
Hi Davina: I love the idea of romancing your resolutions. The more you can engage your sense in what you’re trying to accomplish, the more likely it is that you’ll be able to see it through. I guess in part it’s about creating as much physical evidence of your resolution as possible. If you get a journal to use as an exercise log, and exercise clothes, and a water bottle, and running shoes, the resolution of “get more exercise” starts to become something physical instead of just being an idea in your head.
Hi Marelisa.
“…it’s about creating as much physical evidence of your resolution as possible.” That’s a good way to put it. The way you have presented the picture to support getting more exercise… has me thinking that it’s like building a nest to support the growth of the goal. It gives it more support. And hey, if new clothes and shoes doesn’t get a “body” excited what else will? :-)
i have a lot i want to accomplish this year, in fact, i’m supposed to write part of that list today. my most important thing to do though would be to get a grip on my time. to schedule better.
Natural’s last blog post..You Know It’s Time To Give Up Blogging When….
I love the idea of romancing our intentions – make them feel wanted! I honestly don’t ever have new year’s resolutions – but for all the ones I have all year, I’ve found making the process an enjoyable process helps tremendously. For example, I combined exercise (long walks) with a trip to the coffee shop, for many years (before living with F). Beautiful article, Davina!
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Great post Davina. It’s true that the reason why so many resolutions fail is because we dont fall in love with them. Rather they become like a chore, a job, a rule we must abide by. Without the ‘romance’, our resolutions have a very short life span.
sharon’s last blog post..Lord Plant My Feet On Higher Ground
Hi Natural.
Time is a tricky thing to get a grip on. Good luck with your list. I like how you said you would be writing “part of it”. That’s already a step in the right direction, I would say — by not trying to do it all at once.
Hi Robin.
Thank you. That’s a good way to put it… “make them feel wanted”. How can they not stick around then? :-) Combining a walk with a trip to the coffee shop is a good idea. I get the feeling that you like coffee better than exercise though – ha, ha.
Hi Sharon.
Thanks. That’s exactly it. If we aren’t “in love with them,” they become a burden. Then we’re trying to draw strength to manifest them, but they need something from us in order to support our efforts. It’s a lose-lose situation.
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