Photographic memories.
This is a school photograph taken of myself when I was eight years old. I love this picture, and this little girl.
Julie at Random Meanderings has shared six things about herself and asked me to do the same. I usually avoid memes, but after reading hers, I was inspired to share too. Plus, it’s a lazy Sunday evening, I’m sipping a nice glass of rosé and so, what the heck. Cheers.
When I look at this photograph I feel like no time has passed since 1972. The dress I was wearing was red — I looked good in red and still do. My hair now? Short and greying. My weight? Well, we won’t discuss that.
A lot has changed, but a lot of things are still the same, and these are the core aspects of myself that I love. Unfortunately they are also the ones that I tend to take for granted or forget to appreciate. So, to remind myself, I have put this photo on my refrigerator. I see it when I’m coming and going from my apartment and when I’m busy working in the kitchen.
When I look at this photo I’m overcome with a feeling of wanting to take care of this little girl. She looks vulnerable. This photo helps to remind me to be compassionate with myself — that’s where it all has to start.
I have a heart of gold.
My mother always told me that I had a heart of gold. I still do. But as an adult, some days I seem to be sitting around waiting for a rainbow to find that pot of gold. Sometimes I give too much of myself, sometimes not enough. Staying balanced with this is important to my happiness and to others.
My challenge is to not be afraid to let my light shine. To speak my truth. I am reminded of some lines from that well-known Marianne Williamson passage: “…Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do….”
To speak your truth is to give others the permission to do the same. I have an innate desire for everyone to just be happy. Simple. Or is it? In this world I wonder if I’m being idealistic. But it all has to start with oneself…. right? I suspect that’s what has attracted me to life coaching.
I was a nature-lover.
I still am. I often reminisce about growing up on the farm: swinging in the apple orchard, riding horses, playing in the hayloft, climbing trees, feeding squirrels and rolling around on the freshly mowed lawn. Once I got stung by a bee doing this.
I haven’t lost my appreciation for nature. I’m always looking up to admire the sky, the clouds and the trees. I’d rather listen to the bird’s songs and the wind, than music on my cd player. Camping is one of my most favourite things to do in the summer.
I’m collecting memories: a great blue heron gliding swiftly through the mist that’s rising through the early morning rays of the sun, the distant hooting of owls at two am, leaves falling from the trees at two am, the mountains, the pounding rain, the wind. Oh, the wind.
I loved to dance.
I still do. In public school my sisters and I took jazz dancing lessons. I was in a couple of dance recitals. Although I was incredibly shy I loved being up on the stage performing with the rest of the class. There was just something about the energy of being together in a group and entertaining.
A few years ago I went to a live musical with a friend. The last number was a tap dance. There were at least 40 dancers on stage performing. The sound of the music, the rhythm of their tapping, their spectacular costumes and the expressions on their faces mesmerized me. The energy was so powerful that I was moved to tears.
A couple of years ago I took belly dancing and not long after that I tried swing and salsa. Unfortunately, my knees couldn’t stand up to my enthusiasm so I had to quit. But that doesn’t stop me from clowning around my apartment with a pretend microphone, listening to Tears for Fears or Dire Straits.
I loved to write.
I still do. When I turned 12 I started to write poetry. Here’s the first verse of a poem I wrote on July 19, 1978. It is called “Wonders of Nature”.
Have you ever admired the sunrise,
against the bright orange sky?
Or gently picked a dandelion,
or watched a butterfly?
Now, I blog. I’ve always had a fascination for expression with the written word, and I do much better getting my message out through writing than I do verbally. It doesn’t matter whether I’m proofreading, editing or writing for my blog, times passes very quickly. It gives me joy. There is so much to say….
I loved silence.
I still do. When I was in grade three, the same grade when this photo was taken, our teacher gave us a challenge — our class had been getting too noisy. She told us that whoever could be the quietest student over a certain period of time would win a prize. Guess who won?
Nothing has changed. I still prefer my alone time. I need it to recharge and refresh my mind. I’ve learned to accept that introversion is not a handicap and to realize that I prefer silence. I like listening to it. Now that’s an interesting contradiction isn’t it? Listening to silence.
I loved my grandmother.
I still do. She passed away in 1991 but it seems like yesterday. Margaret was many things to me. She was more than a grandmother. She was a second mother, an older sister and my best friend. We enjoyed silence together. We both liked to dance. We enjoyed nature. We were both clowns and always kidded around with each other. She used to tell me, “I love you with big boxcar letters.”
Today I remember her fondly. There are days when I’m home working that I suddenly feel she has just walked into the room. I say hello to her and go about my business. We shared a special connection. We still do.
And so, those are six things about me — then and now. I hope you enjoyed my trip down memory lane. I sure did. Cheers.
I won’t tag anyone, but your stories are welcome in the comments section. The floor is all yours. Tell me something about yourself — then and now.
Evita
Hilary
Joy
Linda
Megan "JoyGirl!" ...
Patricia
Tess The Bold Life
Tony Single
vered
{ 34 comments }
Oh Davina – What a beautiful girl you were, and that beauty has followed you through life.
As I was reading the six things about you, I was smiling as your memories brought back memories to me as well…growing up on the farm, swinging in the apple orchard, climbing trees, and playing in the hayloft. And, your love of silence. I was nodding, understanding each word you wrote. We can hear silence, can’t we?
And, you wanting others to “just be happy”. If only it was that easy. But, we try, don’t we?
Then I read about you liking to write and loving your grandmother. How alike we are.
I love this post of yours. I’ve learned more about you, and at the same time, you’ve taught me more about me. All is good, isn’t it?
Barbara Swafford’s last blog post..How To Lose Blog Visitors
Hi Davina,
I’m going to echo Barbara here – I loved this post Davina! What a great way to get to know you – seeing you as a little girl and as you are now. And to know that while things have changed, at your core – this remains constant.
I love your poem from years ago – you have been a writer from early on! And it speaks to me not only of your writing ability, also for your true love for nature. Thank you for sharing this – a piece by you from times passed.
What I really love about this – is that in reading about you here – in learning more about ‘you’ – I feel a stronger connection – and that’s pretty awesome! Thanks for sharing this Davina!
Lance’s last blog post..Sunday Thought For The Day
Oh, Davina! Barbara and Lance have beat me to it, to telling you that you’ve helped me fall in love with “Davina,” too! THIS, what you’ve done here in seeing the more innocent you and sharing her with us, is just SO precious…
So many memories you mentioned struck loud chords within me, something with each breath as I read: the farm, nature, shyness “except for,” camping, bee stings, owls at 2am…gosh! And I was SO moved by your heart of gold. That is you!
Two things in particular moved me, though: your remark about listening to silence. Like Barbara, I completely understand. We can hear everything in silence. Silence is not at all quiet. ;)
And your poem!!! You wrote that on my birthday. You know what Nature means to me. I played in our dandelion “fields.” And you included a butterfly, which was the shape of my birthmark. I love it! …the connection. ;)
Oh, Davina!…if all of us could always see each others’ younger selves all the time… we’d be in the biggest, most fun, happiest playground ever! …belly-dancing despite our aging knees!
Thanks for writing this, Davina. I hope you enjoyed doing it as much as I enjoyed reading it!
Julie’s last blog post..Tag, This is Who I Am
Davina,
I’m SO glad you jumped on this meme – though I can’t say I’m “surprised” by any of this information you’ve shared! (The part about your grandmother brought tears to my eyes though!)
Talk about “authenticity in action” dear – you are it!!! Your love of poetry and the written word comes through loud and clear through your blog and since I’ve watched you “dance” on Twitter, that wasn’t surprising either. :)
Thanks for “getting real” and letting even more of “you” shine through!
Kathy @ Virtual Impax’s last blog post..The REAL reasons why you should be using “social media”
Hi Davina;
you made me remember a dream I had a few days ago. There, I was dancing with my grandmother, as I did long ago, when I was 9 nine years old.
Oh Davina,
You are me!
I also gaze upon my pictures from when I was young. I want to dive in there and tell her life will be great. Ease up and don’t worry about everyone else so much. Take care of myself.
I have a heart of gold. When I begin working on myself I find that I am happy just the way I am. I had rather do for others. That is my life.
My life is not complete without nature. Each day I absorb all that I can from the outside. The sound of birds. The smell of leaves. Just the very existence of my being in connection with anything outside that I can touch, feel or smell….just connects me back to reality.
I love to “write.” Even though I am not a talented well versed writer I still enjoy expression of myself.
Bring on the silence. I could go for days with just nothing but myself and the walls. I just love it.
I then arrived at your grandmother comment. Oh me, the tears will begin to flow. I miss her so much. I go out to my garden each morning just to chat with her. I have all of her rose bushes that were once in her backyard. I promised her I would take care of them. It is my connection link with my past. I can talk and I actually feel as though they (the roses) listen when I am there. She was a wonderful lady that gave me many gifts about life.
See I told you were were alike.
Cricket/A Day to Share with Tammy’s last blog post..My week for thought
Hello Davina!
This was wonderful! I have read a lot of your comments on the other sites and finally have had a chance to get to know more about YOU specifically.
This was very beautifully written, so simple and elegant. And I have to say, it looks like we share all of this in common… I love to dance, love to write, love nature and loved my grandmother dearly too. Also I have had the pleasure of reading Marianne Williamson’s material and loved it too!
I am so glad you decided to participate, it is always such a special unique experience to be let into another person’s world – if only just a little :)
Evita’s last blog post..Depth Seeker
I loved this post and I love that photo. You do look vulnerable in that photo.
I could tell you have a heart of gold even before you said it: it’s pretty obvious to anyone who has been following you for more than a few week. I sometimes think that having a good heart is a bad thing, because some people take advantage of it. But deep inside I know it’s a good thing and something you should be proud of.
You are still the same person you thought you were. Life expeirence simply compels you to perceive things with a new level of awareness.
Liara Covert’s last blog post..5 Tips to manage awkward moments
Wow!What a very cool exercise. To look at a photograph of yourself as a little girl, and compare her to the woman you are now. Interestingly, I was looking at school photos of me today. I always thought I was unattractive and geeky. I was shocked to look at myself with eyes that saw a pretty little girl! I NEVER thought of myself as pretty. I am going to do this exercise for next week’s Then Thursday. Thanks, Davina!
Urban Panther’s last blog post..The true hunters are always female
Hi everyone! Thank you, thank you for all your comments! I was overwhelmed actually. Thought I’d check in just to say hi. I’ve been away from blogging today and have a lot of catching up to do. I’m breaking for dinner and will be back in a few hours to respond to all your comments. Until then…
Lovely sharing Davina and I especially appreciated your format. It was so nice to learn more about you in such a lovely prose.
I have been thinking about you all day as a matter of fact, and this was a nice summation and discovery, I am sure this is what I felt to be true about the real Davina.
I think we are always that child which remains within, and we are just more layered. My 101 year old friend who just died this fall, always started her story telling with her being a child in Italy and coming to the USA and being the English speaker for her parents and siblings. Her life began as the child – she ended all of our visits with “I don’t know why I outlived them all and by so many years – they are all gone now, no one remembers the stories but me. I give them to you with my love.”
Lovely to read and find out more about you…thank you for all your gracious comments and lovely, golden spirit and sharing them with me/us.
I can just see you dancing….
patricia’s last blog post..Pooh Patrol
Hi Davina,
What a beautifully written post – you know, I would have written more or less the same things- pretty much exactly the same things except one – my mother never said I have a heart of gold :-( ..that is why I think you are so special !
And you talk about wanting to take care of that little girl ….for me it is “Lucy” – a child I write about and I talk to – in my stories ….and she does exactly the same thing your picture does for you … a reminder to take care of myself!
Maya’s last blog post..Preparing to Believe in Yourself: The Science of Ditchiness
Hi Barbara.
Thanks for saying so. I’m touched that you connected so deeply with this post. And, how you’ve said it taught you more about yourself — I love that. Do you find that when you write… you’re in some way, writing to understand yourself? It’s neat how when a person starts to write they open a door, and can’t always be sure of the words that will come through.
Hi Lance.
Thank you :-) I’m feeling shy and quite speechless now. My gosh — how to respond to all this???
I have learned so much about you from the guest posts you’ve done. And because we don’t “see” each other in real life, this is a great way to connect aside from regular blogging. Opening up online is scary, but rewarding too. I think people hunger for this type of connection, and that is what is so great about your blog Lance.
Hi Julie.
I did enjoy writing this and in the end, I’m glad you tagged me. I needed to do this last night, so thank YOU!
I’m astounded that this poem was written on your birthday! I almost didn’t include the date. Now I’m glad I did — I’ve emailed you the full version — consider it an early birthday present. Like I said to Lance, I’m blown away by these comments. Wow. Let’s talk about you, shall we :-)
I hope a lot of people read your six things. You expressed yourself wonderfully and with your usual enthusiasm. If had 1/10th of that… the mountains I could move. LOL.
Hi Kathy.
Yayy — happy tears are the best kind. Yes, my grandmother was a special lady. You’re another enthusiastic blogger I enjoy hearing from. Ahem, the door is always open if you would like to do a guest post and pour out your heart too ya know.
Hi Miguel.
I’m glad you were reminded of your dream. I can picture a nine-year-old dancing with his grandmother. She must have been special to you.
Hi Tammy.
You embody the word “joy”. My first “meeting” with you was when you sang Frosty The Snowman for Robin’s recording project. I subscribed to your blog right after that. I loved how you just went with it and laughed your way through it. It was perfect!
Thank you for sharing about your grandmother. I can feel from your words how closely connected you were/are with her. I think she is still giving you gifts too.
Hi Evita, welcome!
I just popped over to your blog to see your photo of that poor little raccoon trapped in that tree. Poor guy. You have a real talent for photography. I will be back to see more of your work.
Thanks for your kind comments. I’m glad this meme came around…at first I wasn’t going to do it. When I read Julie’s I was inspired. Now, I must make a note to read yours too.
Hi Vered.
Thank you — I’m blushing again. I suspect that you have a good heart too. And I know exactly what you mean about that “good heart”. A person has to be careful about trusting their gut instincts, and other people.
Hi Liara.
It IS interesting how life experience can change the level of awareness, and yet the core self still remains. When I look at this photo I feel as though I’m looking at myself today.
Hi Urban Panther.
You’re welcome! We school girls can be pretty hard on ourselves… and each other for that matter. That is neat how you can see that pretty little girl now through your own eyes. That’s important. A person can tell you over and over that you are pretty, but until you believe it yourself, you’ll never see it. I can’t wait to read your Then Thursday post.
Hi Patricia.
I see by the time of your comment that you were probably writing it as I was sending you my email. What a coincidence. I appreciate your support Patricia — thank you, it means a lot.
That is such a gift that your friend was able to share those memories with you before she passed away. Can you imagine if we had no history books? How much information would be lost?
Hi Maya.
Ah thanks ;-) I bet your mother told you that you had a heart of gold in other ways. From reading your blog I can sense that you have a very gentle way about you. Makes me think that you are listening to Lucy and taking care of yourself.
Hi Davina – I’m going to echo the other comments. This post just knocked my socks off. The best thing about it was whenever you make an assertion about your then self, you write, “I still do.” So powerful. It is a wonderful gift to feel at home in one’s skin. I love that you love the you that you have always been as well as the you that has grown from strong, loving roots.
Betsy Wuebker’s last blog post..FINDING VALUE IN UNCERTAINTY
Hi Davinia,
You bet she was; a very complex woman; maybe one day I should blog about her :)
Miguel de Luis’s last blog post..The Long Journey
My photos from grade school show me unsure and shy. I recall the photographers always having to get me to look at the camera instead of the floor. What a long, strange trip to adulthood we all take.
From 12-year-old poet to blogger! I guess that’s why you can write wonderful lines like these: “I’ve learned to accept that introversion is not a handicap and to realize that I prefer silence. I like listening to it. Now that’s an interesting contradiction isn’t it? Listening to silence.”
SpaceAgeSage — Lori’s last blog post..There is a time for everything; a season for every activity under heaven
The next post is “Me, Now and Tomorrow”, eh? ;)
It is good exercise, i love periodic reflection on myself time to time. Helps to refocus and improve. But what I love the most is getting feedback from others – it’s always insightful, constructive, and helpful.
Alik Levin | PracticeThis.com’s last blog post..Program Yourself For Extremely Fast Performance
Hi Betsy.
Thank you — you know, sometimes “thank you” just doesn’t cut it with comments like these. Hugs to you. This was interesting exercise. I’d love to hear yours too… this is a sneaky way of tagging someone isn’t it? Only if you wanna ;-)
Hi Miguel.
You “should”! I love to read about her.
Hi Lori.
Thank you. You were shy and unsure as a child… now look at you. It is interesting to look back on our childhood and see how far we’ve come. I always dreaded picture day at school too.
Hi Alik.
That’s very clever! LOL Now THAT would be a valuable exercise too. That’s similar to what folk do with the Future Self meditations that I offer. I agree, the comments and feedback IS insightful and powerful.
Thanks for sharing so much about yourself! You are a loving being.
Mark’s last blog post..Validation and Judgment
Hi Mark and welcome!
Thank you for your kind comment. I just read your latest post. It was brilliant! Actually… I think it’s worthy of a stumble…. I’m on it…
Shoot! I couldn’t find a way to Stumble so I Tweeted instead :-)
Hi Davina, I read this yesterday but got interrupted before I could comment. I agree with most of the comments, except that to me the younger you looks withdrawn and sad. Maybe I’m projecting, I don’t know.
It was brave of you to share these thoughts about your earlier self, even if it didn’t seem like it when you wrote it. :-) I think it’s the opening up that people are responding to. Learning how someone honestly sees themselves, then and now, is learning a lot about them.
Dot’s last blog post..About Your Business
I love your post. You looked so lovely. Like all the other bloggers here, I enjoyed your opening up here. This post may not pass SEO guidelines but it has endeared the hearts of many, including mine!
Evelyn Lim’s last blog post..Benefits To Meditation
Hi Dot.
You’re very observant. There is a sadness there too. If I remember correctly my mother was going through her second divorce around that time. Opening up like this was therapeutic.
Hi Evelyn.
Thanks. Sometimes SEO has to be tossed aside. I made an small effort to work with it and don’t think it’s a total wash considering the type of post it was.
Well, well ,well, do you and I share some common things!
I was 8 in 1972. (not quite as cute as you, tho.)
I grew up on a farm too, yes a real farm. Dad had another “real” job, in the mines but he still keeps horses and the odd cow to this day.
Love writing, silence, nature and my grandmothers too, both those dear ladies now long passed away.
I’m not sure if I have a heart of gold, but when I was little my dad said I was very forgiving. And I’ve always been that way. It’s a pretty good way to be actually, keeps my heart free.
Thank you so much for sharing these wonderful things.
Jannie Funster’s last blog post..Twinkle Shooters
what a cute picture. do you remember having the picture taken? i look back at the very few pictures that i have of myself and everything is lost. i totally wish i remembered my childhood.
anywho, enjoyed the meme. i looked at your writing website the other day, i didn’t know you provided those services, i bookmarked it.
A lazy Sunday evening sipping a glass of rose – huh! It’s so hot here I can’t think – already 100 F at 10 a.m.
I loved reading these Davina – you are very similar to me. I’m jealous of your grandmother (the older members of our family were disapproving and distant), and being told by your mother you had a heart of gold – let’s just say mine didn’t do that. I especially understand the silence thing.
Cheers – R
Robin’s last blog post..Guy Finley Followed By An Illustrated Meme.
Hi Jannie.
Well, there’s one thing that I WISHED we shared — that talent for singing that you have girl! I can’t imagine you not having a heart of gold.
Hi Natural.
I don’t remember having this picture taken. But I remember grade 3 — I had a crush on a boy then ;-) Do you have a big family? I guess that could work both ways — you could get lost in the crowd — or need to hide from it. I hope you can find some of those memories.
Hi Robin.
Oh my, not another heat wave! This must be one of the hottest summers that you can remember. I hope Mother Nature eases up soon. Central Canada is experiencing another winter storm. Talk about extremes.
I glad you enjoyed reading this. That memory of my mother telling me this is one that I hold on to. There were not a lot of good ones, but this one stands out. That’s really a shame about the disconnect with your elders. I think a lot of things are taken for granted and not spoken. From what I know of you, you are a good daughter to your mother. I’m sure the words are there.
Thank you for sharing this – and so beautifully written.
I was 4 in 1972 ;-)
My grandmother was one of my favorite people in the world. And I just knew I was her favorite grandchild. She passed away in 1989 (close to yours) and not a day goes by that I don’t think about her. I have a wonderful photo of her picking her raspberries in a red dress. Maybe I should write a post about her. And it’s strange – my Mom inherited her house and now that my Mom just passed I co-own the same house with my brothers. Maybe I’m supposed to live where she did. Ok – I’m totally thinking out loud here.
Thanks Davina
Kim Woodbridge’s last blog post..How to Style a Sticky Post in WordPress 2.7
Hi Kim.
It’s nice to see you here. Oh yes, I’d love to read about your grandmother AND see that picture. That is an interesting story about your home. Your grandmother likes to keep you close by doesn’t she? I love grammies :-)
Wow! We have a lot in common. I am a nature lover who loves writing, silence, and my grandmother (who also passed away). Thank you for sharing and strengthening the connections of the blogosphere.
Stacey / Create a Balance’s last blog post..Ten Ways To Create a Balance While Commenting on Blogs
Hi Stacey.
You’re welcome. And thank you for creating a balance :-)
Davina!
Thank you for this journey of discovery about you! No doubt you have not only a heart of gold, but a kind heart and it comes through your writings!
I enjoyed this very much!
Thanks again!
Be back soon,
Henie
Henie’s last blog post..The Button
Hi Henie.
You’re welcome. I’m happy you enjoyed this little journey — thanks so much for your kind comment :-)
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