Today, I am happy to introduce you to a friend of mine. Sara Healy writes a personal development blog called The Sharing Connection where the tagline is “A place to connect and share things learned in this journey through life.”
She says on her Welcome page that, “This is a place you can visit to feel motivated and encouraged, or to discover a new way of looking at something. It’s a place to laugh and share about our everyday life lessons.”
She definitely has a knack for connecting the dots between then and now, and sharing what she has learned on her way. Sara writes to remind herself what she has learned and hopes that her readers will take away a new perspective to help themselves through their own life challenges.
The most important goal she has for her blog is that readers come to life in the comment section and share their experiences, thoughts and ideas with one another.
She writes about such subjects as Zen Gift Giving, Persistence – A Key to Success, Giving the Gift of An Open Heart, and How to Practice Mindfulness While Driving. And so, without further ado here is Sara.
A language that needs no translation
I volunteer as a tutor for the English as a Second Language (ESL) program in my community. One day while waiting for my student, I noticed an Asian woman talking excitedly on the phone. She was smiling and obviously full of joy and happiness.
How did I know this? I didn’t understand a single word she was saying and yet, I understood exactly what she was feeling.
While this has happened many times before, it was the first time I was really aware of it. It made me think about how we communicate. And suddenly, it hit me. Emotions are our universal language — we get the message even though we can’t speak, write or read the language.
Communicating without translation
Think about this for a second. No matter where you are in the world, you can understand an emotional response from another person. It may be related to a situation, but you can sense what that person is feeling without having to translate their words.
Our emotions connect us in a most powerful way, IF we pay attention to them.
Unfortunately, many of us have been taught to avoid our emotions and those of others. Consequently, we don’t often communicate with each other on an emotional level. We’ve been taught to put up barriers that keep us away from each other.
This is especially true when we’re dealing with people who don’t share our beliefs, whether they are social, religious or cultural. We focus on our differences and don’t allow ourselves to connect emotionally with people of certain ethnic backgrounds, religions, ages, or whatever we feel threatened by.
The more we do this, the more we forget what we have in common and we lose the ability to connect with each other. This is where I ask you to take a leap of faith with me and consider something a bit radical.
What if we stripped away the barriers; the societal and cultural beliefs that keep us from each other? What if we learned to use the language of emotions to communicate with those we love and those we call our enemies. What if by acknowledging that we FEEL the same things — love, desire, joy, anger, envy, happiness, awe — we can connect with each other in a more compassionate and caring way?
Is it possible that this might be the most powerful thing we could do to save our world?
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{ 27 comments }
Makes sense to me! Now all I have to do is learn to show what I really feel. ;)
Mike Goad’s last blog post..The Sun Has Lost Its Spots
@Mike — That’s a good lesson for all of us!! Thanks for your comment.
Sara’s last blog post..A Facebook challenge with a twist!
Hi Davina and Sara!
This is such an amazing post as it gets right to the root of what we have been forgetting and/or perhaps missing all these years.
The emotions are INDEED the most powerful language – in fact they are the language of the soul – hence no need to translate.
Often people wonder, how will we communicate in “heaven”… well we need to look no further than our emotions – the universal language indeed!
Evita’s last blog post..Patterns
Hi Davina and Sara,
The moment I saw the title, I knew I liked this post. Some people say a smile is the universal language, but I think it’s the emotions the smile conveys that is universally understood. Thanks for a great read!
Daphne’s last blog post..8 Lessons A Nearly-Dead Dog Taught Me About Living
Wow for me a double whammy on emotions today. I think we agree to figure them out is a dynamic way to communicate and connect.
Thank you Sara for your good words and thoughts and Davina for making a connection here.
I just love the pictures too
patricia’s last blog post..Increase Your Emotional IQ
I remember remarking to myself when I saw the Passion of the Christ movie by Mel Gibson how good the actors were portraying deep emotion with only slight facial expressions. Of course they are modern day humans portraying 2000 year-old ones, but it really struck me that there are only so many emotions and ways of expressing them and we are all tied and alike in that respect. The same emotions we’ve seen for thousands and thousands of years.
Fascinating really. We are such simple beings but let things get too complicated, alas. Maybe we will get to that peaceful understanding among all mankind, Davina. Someday :)
And yeah, that was cool how you and Patricia had the same blog idea in mind.
Jannie Funster’s last blog post..Doing It
Hi Sara… I read your recent post on ‘twenty-five things’, but it’s a bit of a scary exercise – not sure if I can get anywhere near 25! Might have to give it a go tonight….
Regarding this post – it reminded me of a show I watched last night – I think it’s called ‘lie to me’, and is loosely based on some expert facial recognition and response guy who knows when people are lying, and when they’re telling the truth. I was reminded of this show, because at one point it mentioned that people are the same the world over. Race, colour, background, presidents or beggers, celebrities or working joe – it doesn’t matter about the audio, people respond to different situations using the same (or very similar) facial expressions.
Having said this, it’s also interesting that you mention that we often fail to communicate or at least connect with people on an emotional level. I can certainly relate to being biased towards and against certain people, and on reflection I’ve decided it probably stems from previous experiences that I’ve had – for instance, a particularly incompetent Indian doctor made me a little hesitant with the next Indian doctor I had contact with.. but it’s not fair to act this way. And, it’s showing prejudice. And…. there are some amazingly fantastic Indian doctors!
Reading posts like this helps remind me to approach everyone as an individual, and try to see their way of things – rather than basing my opinion on other experiences.
Ross’s last blog post..The heart of life
An eye opener definitely. Very powerful indeed! Makes perfect sense. Thank you!
I saw (and FELT) this hands-on when I lived in another country and when traveled into large and small towns across Europe. Some of my favorite experiences during my travels was when I was interacting with people who didn’t speak English. I’m reminded of an old Italian woman who sat next to me on a train from Rome to Florence. I have no idea what she was saying as she was pointing out the window to the fields of sunflowers, but I felt he excitement and happiness fill the train.
Stacey / Create a Balance’s last blog post..Hungry for Balance Online Retreat
@Evita — Thanks for the comment. I agree with you that the language of heaven must be one of emotions…if any language is needed!
@Daphne — You are right about a smile. A smile or a laugh ARE often the first doors to connecting through the language of emotions.
@Patricia — You are SO right about communications and connections. To really communicate through emotions, you have to connect with the person you’re talking to…there’s no other way.
@Jannie — Both Davina and I appreciate what you said. I loved your words, “…it really struck me that there are only so many emotions and ways of expressing them and we are all tied and alike in that respect. The same emotions we’ve seen for thousands and thousands of years.” That says it all!
@Ross — I also have watched “Lie to Me,” which IS a very interesting show. From your comments, it’s clear that you are the type of person willing to break through biases and find the emotional connections. NOTE: Also, thanks for comments about my recent post, A Facebook Challenge with a Twist, I hope you will try writing the 25 things you like about yourself…it really does make you feel good!
@Mark — I’m glad you found this post an eye opener as I hoped it would make people think AND I’m very pleased it made sense to you! You never know sometimes when you put up a post what the reaction will be. Thank you for sharing.
Sara’s last blog post..A Facebook challenge with a twist!
I checked out Sara’s blog and signed up. It’s true we all are more a like than different. We all want the same things, good relationships, purpose and meaning, love, hugs, laughter and fun.
I was watching the Today Show the day after the inaugaration. The two daughters of former President Bush wrote a letter to the Obama girls. It was very moving. They told them not to allow others dictate who their father was because they weren’t there the day you were born, they aren’t there when you eat dinner together etc. They advised them to hang on to their who they believe their father to be no matter what anyone else says about him.
Like all other daughters they want others to view their father as a loving human being. Is that too much to ask? Again we all want the same thing. Barbara and Jenna want others to see their dad in a good way.
For us who are willing to do what you ask to heal the world I think this would be a good place to begin. If we’re committed we can begin with the most difficult. It’s time to stop placing blame and heal.
Yes
Tess The Bold Life’s last blog post..What Was Your Biggest Insight In January 2009?
It’s not only possible but more than likely we would more often hit the mark with our communications if we used feelings as a universal language.
Tom Volkar / Delightful Work’s last blog post..Off Kilter, Pissed and Real
@Stacey — I love your story about the Italian woman on the train…it’s so true. I also experienced this through my travels. It’s amazing how people are able to share themselves simply by showing their emotions!
@Tom — Your comment hits the mark for me! Thanks for sharing.
Sara’s last blog post..A Facebook challenge with a twist!
Hi, Sara. This is a wonderful post!
I think your question at the end IS the answer. When we realize we are all the same—people being people as best we each know how to be—then we can understand each others’ motivations (which are tied to seeking or avoiding emotions). From understanding this, we can open to our empathy and compassion and even release our own fears and doubts. We’ll see each other more clearly, again!
Julie’s last blog post..Tag, This is Who I Am
Davina, thank you for hosting Sara. I love learning and growing, which is good because I think there is no end in sight for me (LOL). I just visited Sara’s blog, and have now subscribed, knowing she’ll be another wonderful teacher. ;)
Julie’s last blog post..Tag, This is Who I Am
@Tess — What a beautiful story about the letter from the daughters of former President Bush to President Obama’s daughters!!! I missed hearing about that. I also agree with you that we are more alike than different; we just have see the similarities.
@Julie — Your comments really touched me. Thank you. I’m glad there is no ending in sight for you to continue learning and growing.
Sara’s last blog post..A Facebook challenge with a twist!
Hi Everyone.
Thanks for your comments and for giving Sara such a warm welcome. I think she’s done a wonderful job with this article and with all of your comments.
What I know from emotions is that we are most alive when we are “feeling” them… whether good or bad. Hiding them is resistance and takes a lot of energy — blocks us from finding the answers. From my experience, I run into trouble when I don’t acknowledge a feeling in the beginning — it builds into something that becomes more difficult to manage and maybe not very pretty either. And what a waste to not acknowledge those feelings that make us feel like a million.
Hi Sara – This is an interesting post. I guess emotions are the easiest things to recognise, as many cultures express them quite openly, compared to in the UK. I know that over here and in the US, many of us are taught to cover up our emotions. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not. I guess it depends upon the situation.
@Cath — As I have a child who lives in the UK, it IS interesting to note the differences with how emotions are expressed there versus the US, for example.
Regarding your thoughtful comment about whether or not it’s a good thing to cover up emotions, I hope we will teach our children that emotions are a good thing as well as appropriate ways to share them with others.
Thanks for the comment.
Sara’s last blog post..A Facebook challenge with a twist!
Hi Mike.
LOL, I know what you mean!
Hi Evita.
I like how you’ve put this — emotions are the language of the soul. Sigh.
Hi Daphne.
I’ve always believed that on some level we are all connected energetically. Emotions seem to be the catalyst for that connection. I’m glad you enjoyed Sara’s post.
Hi Patricia.
I smiled when I read your post on emotional IQ. You and Sara must have been on the same wavelength. Yes, the pictures are great. I especially love the baby’s photo!
Hi Jannie.
I had invited Sara to do a guest post and this is what came about. Like I mentioned to Patricia, they must have been on the same wavelength. Yes… we let things get too complicated! Maybe we just try too hard?
Hi Ross.
Thanks for your comment. You given me the thought that we fail to connect on an emotional level with people because maybe we’re afraid. When emotions flow through us they’re pretty difficult to control. Most humans that I know are threatened by lack of control. I know I am ;-)
Hi Mark.
You’re welcome. I hope I can convince Sara to do another guest post in the future. I’ve enjoyed this.
Hi Stacey.
What a beautiful memory. I can instantly imagine how that must have felt to pick up on that woman’s excitement. I think emotions are timeless too… that’s why we remember loved ones so well after they have passed on.
Hi Tess.
I’m glad to hear you have subscribed to Sara’s blog :-) I think you are right — to stop placing blame would be a huge step in the right direction to improve our communication and connection with one another.
Hi Tom.
I agree — no more Lost in Translation if we communicated that way. Actually, no need for translation at all.
Hi Julie.
You’re welcome! It was my pleasure. It is nice to believe that the learning and growing never stops. I get the feeling that you are an adventurer in that area of your life :-)
Hi Cath.
My father is from the UK and he is very detached where emotions are concerned — maybe reserved is a better way to put it. He’s very good at keeping the status quo, even when expressing happiness — even that emotion is very quiet.
There is a real grey area around sharing emotions. At work it is more professional to filter them. I like to believe that we can choose to act “responsibly”. When we are emotionally charged, to recognize that we are playing a role in the situation too and it’s not only about the other person. I think that’s when blame and judgment enters and makes it all wrong and things get messy.
Interesting post about using emotions to communicate what we want to say. In NLP, we know that the non verbal communication plays a huge part in the message we intend to convey. The use of words sometimes can be limiting to reflect the true essence of our inner world.
Evelyn Lim’s last blog post..Wings Of Love
Hi Sara and Davina,
Davina – thank you for having Sara as your guest – awesome!
Sara – What a wonderful look at emotions, and the role they really can play in our language, and how we communicate. I wonder how I do sometimes, as though I fall victim to the mentality of not showing emotion – especially that of sadness or grief. And so I’m reminded here of just how important it is to let our emotions out… Thank you, so much, for that Sara.
Hi Sara and Davina,
First, it was great “tweeting” with the two of you this morning.
I totally agree we can understand others via emotions. Years ago I worked for a company and most of the management team were Japanese. I didn’t speak the language, but ended up taking a class so I could learn the basics. When they would talk I would study their emotions, expressions, and body language. Between knowing a little bit of the language and tying it together with their emotions, etc, I could almost always figure out what they were talking about. It proved to be a wonderful experience and from taking the time to “hear” them, I gained respect and made some awesome friends. Just as I learned from them, they too, learned from me. Good memories.
Thank you Sara for sharing the importance of taking the time to hear and see what others are trying to communicate.
Barbara Swafford’s last blog post..What Do You Do With A Blog
Hi Evelyn.
You have said it well. Sometimes words aren’t enough to describe what we are feeling. I took an NLP course many years ago. It was interesting to practice mirroring the person across from you without exchanging words.
Hi Lance.
I’m glad you enjoyed Sara’s guest post. She did a great job!
Hi Barbara.
It WAS fun tweeting this morning. We had quite a thing going for a while. It reminded me of a game of tennis :-)
That’s a good point. I imagine it would be easier to learn a language by focusing on the emotions, expressions and body language to support the words. I’m guessing that this would combine right brain and left brain learning.
Thanks for sharing this informative post. As you say, the physical world invites people to evolve to explore reasons for their emotions. What you choose to think and feel determines what happens next.
@Evelyn — What a beautiful thought, “The use of words sometimes can be limiting to reflect the true essence of our inner world.” Thank you for sharing this! I know a little bit about NLP…just enough to be dangerous, but some of friends who use it say it’s very effective!
@Lance — Your comment reminds me that men in my generation were taught from infancy to only show emotion during a sports event. I always thought it unfair that they weren’t allowed to really express what they were feeling.
I remember at my dad’s funeral, my brother sat stoically without shedding a tear and people told him how brave and strong he was! Fortunately, that’s changing. Now, more and more men are free to express their emotions. I appreciate your comment.
@Barbara — I enjoyed the tweeting also. It is hard for me sometimes to keep up, but I’m starting to get the hang of it.
Thanks for your nice comment about my post. I can really appreciate your story about the Japanese management team. It’s so cool that you were able to understand them, even though you weren’t fluent. That’s what is so amazing to me…our need to communicate with each other is so important that we will find a way to connect! Tweet to you soon!
@Liara — You are so right. We are evolving to a deeper understanding of each other and exploring our emotional communication is part of this. Thank you, Liara, for the thoughtful comment.
Sara’s last blog post..A Facebook challenge with a twist!
Hi Liara.
You’re welcome. What you say is so true. The emotions are like doorways that we can either choose to keep locked or we can enter and leave at will. There is something to learn on either side of the door.
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