Another guest post on Shades of Crimson today. This time, Julie from Random Meanderings is sharing her perspective on personal development.
A few weeks ago I wrote about my frustration on this topic, and that same day an email arrived from Julie asking me if things were well for me. I guess my “rant” had surprised a few people.
Julie observes storms in life and she learns from them. I love her recent post entitled “A Storm is Coming”. It is filled with metaphors, demonstrating her enthusiasm towards life and the connection she feels with nature.
I can see a parallel between the words in that post: “I will be fully and wholly alive, even as I stand stock still”, and the message she has shared in this post.
And so, here is Julie.
Self improvement
Did you just cringe? I know! That word, and all that’s associated with it is the cause of a fair amount of struggle, impatience, encouragement, hope and wisdom.
That’s an odd list isn’t it? Full of contrasts. It’s also a continuum. The continuum is filled with words like enlightenment, authentic, higher self, journey, abundance, inspiration, and inner transformation…
Davina remarked on this and her frustration about her own personal development was clear. I bet you can relate because you’ve probably felt it too.
Those of us intent on becoming better people, to find happiness, to “find ourselves,” or what have you, look everywhere for guidance. We turn to friends, counselors, clergy, God — and books.
There’s no limit to the self-help books available. When the time is right we dive right in, sometimes reading several books at a time, to glean the most we can. We read. We read and read and read.
We’re like voracious foragers, grabbing as much as we can. It’s exhausting and frustrating.
Food for thought
We’ve got a refrigerator full of old food that has to go. We’re getting our hands dirty cleaning out the old stuff. Sometimes that job gets pretty icky.
Even though we’re not quite done, we’re still out there “shopping,” trip after trip, bringing home new stuff, loads and loads of it, bag after bag of new food for thought. Fresh food that’s shiny, crispy and juicy, beckoning to us, making us hungry — hungry for more…
We’ve been on a shopping binge!
If this sounds like you, it’s time to stop.
Take a break from all this reading about self-improvement. You need to allow yourself time to relax while your higher self does the housekeeping. You’ve been bringing home the groceries (the info) and now you can leave the sacks for your higher self to empty and put away while you go read a trashy novel.
The break will do you good.
Sometimes we reach a point in life where we start to question, search and reach. It’s an enormous shift from one stage of life to another, and we all go through it to varying degrees. If you’re truly seeking, are interested and questing, then your excitement and need for answers propel you forward… It’s all good.
Too much good though, and the mad foraging begins.
You need to allow time for everything to settle — to gel. You can’t put in place all you’ve learned until it sinks in.
Relaxing helps a lot, but it’s hard to do when you’re deeply involved in the momentum of discovery. Give yourself permission to relax and do something different. Take a walk, journal, go running (or sledding, if you’re in the Arctic tundra instead of Arizona like me). Clean the house, go to a movie, do something. Get away from thinking about self-improvement.
A diversion is exactly what will make it real for you, in small increments here and there.
Let your higher self catch up with the housekeeping. When your mind is calm your inner voice will send you “ah ha!” moments — you will be listening — you’ll make connections exactly when you need them. You’ll see the light, and it’ll be you.
Of course, this is just my take on this. What’s yours?
Photo credits: Wild Wend’s & Daylily18’s Photostream
Barb Hartsook
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Tess The Bold Life
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Betsy Wuebker
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This post is exactly what the genre needs! There’s far too much navel-gazing and far too little implementation of learning. You can’t always be gathering. Wonderful post, thank you.
Thank you, Julie (and Davina for featuring this)!
It seems to me that to seek ‘to find’, one has (by the nature of the intention) explicitly defined that thing (self-improvement, peace, etc) as not being within our possession. And so it will continued to be, until we cease to seek, and accept.
Then again, seeking may well be the intended entertainment we (beyond the consciousness) had in mind.
peace and wonder,
CG
This post encourages readers to move from theory into the rewarding realm of practice. The more you engage in life, the more opportunities you discover to learn meaningful things about who you are.
This is so true and with so many ebooks coming out for free it’s getting even crazier! I find when I do this I still like to read my affirmation cards that I make especially for my personal issues.
@ Betsy — Yes, indeed. Implementation is key. We can easily become tired, and mired, in our own accumulation of information, but to balance our reading we must have action. If it’s hard to switch gears, a little break from it all (reading and action) helps clear the way.
@ CG — You’ve shown us a very helpful point. All our seeking, whether or not we realize it, is simply our way of peeling back our accumulated layers to expose our barest selves. We’re learning how to remember—and, as you say, accept—who we really are.
@ Liara — Yes, theory and practice. Knowledge isn’t fully absorbed unless we use it. And the more we practice, the more easily we see and know ourselves. The rewarding realm is where we live once our practice is no longer “practice.” ;)
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You all are tremendous! Thank you.
@ Tess — The amount of help is amazing, isn’t it. We’re all moving so quickly, which is terrific—and tiring. Affirmation cards will still keep the points we’re focusing on fresh even while we’re resting. Thanks for the great tip!
Hi Davina, great idea to have guest posts!
Julie, I couldn’t agree more with your advice to go read a trashy novel when you need a break! I’ve started to read a lot more fiction, just to relax and enjoy the very act of reading rather than feel like I have to learn and apply something from it. Life is for getting better, but it is also for living! Thanks for this Julie.
Hi Julie and Davina :)
Great post Julie. I totally agree on the “digestion” of things. It is one thing to read so many books on x, y and z BUT if we are just hearing and not applying then are we really listening?
I actually observe this around me constantly. People of all sorts are so fast to “talk” but do not get near also “walking the walk”. That is fine if it serves one, but does it really?
Hence may we take in life one moment at a time and really allow ourselves to stop and reflect to really be able to take in all the richness that life can offer, instead of overwhelming our senses and ending up back no further than when we started our journeys.
I am in the process of implementation. From writing my blog to accessing my medical situation and how to actually achieve all the things on my list. After I wrote my post for tomorrow, I kicked back and felt like I had shored up my list of what I wish to do for others in my next round and before I died – those things that would help me let go and move on. I watched the snow falling and pretended to read my book – it was a lovely afternoon.
I am also working on what I want to implement for my peak of creativity ( around age 65-75 for women) to make it a beautiful, amazing experience and asking in all these moments – how will I know when I have the answers – the signs.
It was a relaxing lovely day….felt like a relief to share those ideas and post them wrapped in snow….my IT person called tonight and said,”you must be really depressed do you need a counselor?”
I said no – quite the opposite am now wondering if she is depressed and needs a counselor…I think I will call her back.
I liked this post and thank you both for sharing, but I think one just comes to a point of enough reading and filling up – it is time to let the learning soup simmer and then let the taste inform the implementation
I liked coming here better, it was a better way to end a relaxing day of contemplation and snow
Thank you
I am still a junkie to my affirmation cards…:)
@ Daphne — You’re on to something. Fiction’s the perfect complement to all the other reading. In fact, doing something that’s different (the more different, the better) really clears the mind quickly. I like your words: “enjoy” and “living.” Perfect, Daphne.
@ Evita — You’re right, if we’re not reflecting, we’re not really listening—or benefitting. We’re only going half way, and that doesn’t serve us, as you say. It only overwhelms us. You’ve captured the feeling. …and you’ve said it so beautifully, too!
@ Patricia — It sounds like you had a productive and restful day, all in one. How fulfilling. How perfect. I like your choice of words, too: “simmer” and “taste.” Your Higher Self housekeeper has put away your groceries. ;)
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Tess, Daphne, Evita, and Patricia: You’re all tremendous, too! Thank you.
Hi Julie
Very true – and very appropriate for me at the moment.
I’m going through a patch of tired-of-personal-development-reading-ness. I’m struggling to find a good novel. But, last night I just watched a movie instead. (Which is saying a great deal given we don’t even have a TV! And only watch the odd DVD on the computer)
Juliet
When yo uthink about it, choices of books, and any example of popular culture reflect a lot about the state of a person’s awareness and fear. Whatever inner issues are surfacing or require attention can be discerned through a person’s thoughts and behaviour. The exercise of beginning to recognize “why you read what you read” is part of the awarness-raising process.
@ Juliet — Your resourcefulness indicates how much you wanted the break. I like your movie suggestion. Doing anything that will engage a different part of your brain will give the part doing all that processing a well-deserved break. If you can’t find the right novel, try moving around; it helps a lot, too. Rearranging a room, making handcrafts, riding a bike, taking a hike, watching kids on a playground, pretending to be a tourist in your own city, making a new recipe for dinner… When ready to return to the mental processing, the mind is ready.
@ Liara — You make a wonderful observation!
100%! When my mind is calm and i can think clearly i get these a-ha moments. Good catch. Get your mind calm, get inspired! Liked it.
“You need to allow time for everything to settle — to gel.” That is very true.
I like to go for walks and move my muscles to give my mind a little break from all the “should-be-doings.” A lot of times just being is all I need, to let my mind wander free.
Hi Betsy.
I’m glad you enjoyed this. I guess we’ve carried that trait of hunting and gathering from our ancestors :-)
Hi CG.
I like what you’ve implied here — seeking is our entertainment. I think that’s a big part of what keeps us distracted… our curiosity and our adventurous spirits. We’re like big, little kids.
Hi Liara.
That is so true. We can never truly predict any outcome and unless we do or try something, we can only imagine the experience.
Hi Tess.
LOL! I know what you mean about the ebooks. Affirmation cards are great. I just pulled a card from a deck I have. I asked the question, “what do do about this issue?” The card says….”You are constantly swimming in an ocean of unconsciousness that feeds you as a mother feeds an infant. Your refusal to accept this Divine nourishment is the root of much of your sorrow.”
Hi Daphne.
These guest posts have come at a very welcome time too. I hadn’t planned it this way, but I’ve been so busy it’s been very helpful for both Sara and Julie to be here. Thanks to both of you.
I’ve been having trouble getting through books because of my past career as a proofreader (and especially since I started blogging), but as you say the fiction is a good break. The only books that have truly carried me away in the last couple of years are the Harry Potter books.
Hi Evita.
This is so true what you say. We’re trying to do too much at a time. I love how Julie used the analogy of the food in the refrigerator too. If you don’t slow down and enjoy your food your digestion suffers. And, if you don’t eat what you already have, it will go to waste.
Hi Patricia.
I’m glad you enjoy this oasis! What you’ve said makes me believe more in my belief that the real pull of blogging is the connection. Sure, we’re reading posts, but we’re connecting and interacting with that blogger and the other readers. There is more “living” and “learning” in the reading in the blogosphere.
Hi Juliet.
You must have really needed a break! Movies are an excellent way to break up the reading. It’s amazing how fast the time passes that way. I often feel refreshed after watching a movie… especially a comedy, from all that laughing.
Hi Liara.
That’s an excellent point. Noticing makes a person more aware.
Hi Alik.
I’m glad you enjoyed Julie’s post. A metaphor just popped in to my mind from reading your comment… When the mind is calm, as you mentioned, you get those ah-ha moments. I compare the ah-ha moments to that still small voice within, and hearing it sometimes is like hearing a pin drop. If your mind is loud and busy, you won’t hear it. See what your comment did? :-)
Hi Jannie.
And, I’ll bet that is where you do your best song writing too. Right?
Hi Julie.
Thanks for sharing this post with everyone here. Like I mentioned in my comment to Daphne, I loved the analogy you used of the refrigerator and the old food. That was right on!
Your statement, “I will be fully and wholly alive, even as I stand stock still,” shows through in your online personality. I can see how alive you are in the way you express yourself, but I also sense that you have a strong stillness about you too. Great job!
@ Alik — You’ve made an excellent observation! Our ah-ha moments can’t arrive unless we clear some space for them. It’s so easy to get caught up in what we’re excited about that we forget to slow down and give everything time to catch up.
@ Jannie — I’m with you! Just as you describe, walking is so stimulating (and restful). Moving our muscles and blood and oxygen enlivens us all over. Our minds just work better after this. They’ve had a little break while the rest of the body took charge.
Davina, it was my pleasure! Thank you for that. It’s wonderful to meet new people and enjoy familiar faces. Everyone has such wonderful insight! I agree with your comment to Patricia: the community is so special.
It’s interesting you remark on that particular statement, for a couple reasons: I don’t recall writing it (I was in the zone), and it does describe me. My stillness within—when I really feel it—is what fuels me. From that grounded place, I attain all my energy. You’re very astute!
Thanks for suggesting I do this here, Davina. I enjoyed it immensely. Thank you, everyone!
Hi Davina and Julie – I totally agree we can read too many self help books. It’s like we get overloaded and confused. Like you said Julie, it’s important to step away from it all and let the pieces fall into place. Often the pieces fall in a manner we would have never dreamed. It’s those surprises that make the process awesome.
Hi Davina – You have Julie here, that’s so awesome!
Hi Julie – It’s great to see you here! And you know what, I happen to think you’re right on track. In the ebb and flow of life – there’s a time for learning, and there’s a time for doing. We’re all at a different spot on this continuum. The important point is to recognize where we’re at, and act accordingly. Great points Julie – and you have me evaluating where I’m at, and what’s next – and that’s all very good stuff to be doing!
I absolutely LOVE the grocery shopping/rotting food in the refrigerator analogy! SPOT ON!!! What a great introduction to Julie!!! Thanks Davina!!!
@ Barbara — “…overloaded and confused.” Yep. Here’s another analogy that came to mind with your “pieces.” All those puzzle pieces can’t find their way to the right spot and plop themselves into place until we quit trying to place them ourselves. And, like you say, we’re wonderfully surprised at the picture that appears!
@ Lance — Yes, it’s all part of the ebb and flow, learning, and doing, and being. The ebb and flow is continual, so we’ll always be in some phase of learning or doing. In order to keep the rhythm, we can’t be stuck on just ebbing or flowing. ;)
@ Kathy — I’m sorry that I couldn’t see your comment when I responded to the others. Especially since you enjoyed my wit. ;) I’m happy to meet you and glad the analogy resonated with you. It seems you’ve “been there,” too.
Hi Barbara.
I like how you say the pieces can fall in a manner that we would have never dreamed. That is a good way to look at it. Surprises are better than expectations.
Hi Lance.
Julie’s a good hostess isn’t she. Lots of fun! What you said about evaluating where we’re at suddenly made me think of the food analogy again… a personal development cleanse or diet could be a good thing.
Hi Kathy.
You’re welcome! Sorry you keep going into moderation. I’ve been emailing support about this and hopefully it will stop.
Davina — I am so excited that Julie is doing the guest post. I loved what she wrote about storms!!!
Julie — Welcome. Davina has both wonderful writings and a remarkable and diverse group of readers. They are right up your alley!
Regarding your post, I found it very relaxing. As I read it, I realized I was taking deep breaths, which felt so goooood! Now that I’ve finished it, I think I might just go and take a nice long nap with my cat…my work at improving myself will still be there when I get up. Thanks!
@ Sara — Hi! I followed in wonderful footsteps, you know. ;) Hey, catnaps are good and naps with cats are even better! I hope you’ll completely sink into one, relishing every breath and every stroke and every stray kitty hair that tickles your nose just as you’re nodding off. Yep, I’ve had my share of naps with my cat keeping me company on my tummy… It’s SO important to give ourselves these kinds of breaks. It’s what helps to keep us on an even keel.
Hi Julie, I enjoyed your post about taking a break from self-improvement books. I used to read that genre almost exclusively for years. But I got to a point where I could to be more accepting of how things are, even when they’re far from perfect. Who am I to judge how things “should” be anyway. This is it, right here, right now, as it is. Nothing needs to change in order for me to be happy. I still like reading self-improvement now and then, but more for entertainment than a need to try and fix anything. I love feeling positive energy from others who want to help the world to be a better place.
@ Diane — I’m so glad you came over here! Davina has a terrific site.
Yes, the saturation point. I felt it, too, after several years of nonstop self-help. After everything settled and the mental air cleared, I was able to see that I really didn’t want to read any more, at least not for a long time. ;) …that I’d been lifted myself enough to realize exactly as you say it here. “Nothing needs to change in order for me to be happy.” The secret is within each of us, all the power we need to be happy. The only thing we ever should try to “fix” is our own perspective, our own thinking patterns.
Your contentment glows in the photos and writing you share with us. I just LOVED your haiku! That was so lovely I just sat and read it several times.
Hi Sara.
That was a fantastic article about storms! I agree completely. There’s something exciting about a good storm.
Hi Diane.
Welcome and thanks for your comment. You’ve got a great perspective about not feeling like you always have to “fix” something in order to be happy. I think Julie is right on by saying that “your contentment glows”. I felt that as I read your comment.
The more I read self-help material the more I am starting to see that, as you say… a lot of the experience is just about being in the experience.
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