Designing fulfillment
What would make you cry with tears of joy if you had it? Do you even dare ask for it? Does it seem too far out of reach? Perhaps you’re convinced that it will never happen.
And just so we’re all on the same page, I’m not talking about winning the lottery.
I’m talking about the life you dream of – what you long for whether you believe it is possible or not. And if your life is already your dream come true, how much bigger could it be?
If you were living that life what would you be doing? Who would you be with? Where would you be?
And most importantly, how would you be feeling while you were living that life? That is the key, more than the dream itself.
Dare to dream
Okay, I’ll play first. What would I be doing if my life were the way I wanted it to be? What would that picture look like? (See above photo.)
I would wake in the early morning hours to bright rays of sunshine streaming through the window. I would stroll outside to the third-story deck and sip my coffee while gazing at the beautiful view overlooking the shores of the Pacific Coast – miles of trees, mountains and ocean.
Wind chimes would play soothing melodies in the breeze. Birds would play in the nearby feeder. My cat would be curled up in a corner, oblivious to the birds, waiting for the next adventure to wake him from his slumber.
I’d see my husband in the distance, off for his morning jog along one of the trails. He is a handsome, rugged, woodsman type kinda guy. I am grateful for his companionship and we are blessed with a harmonious marriage.
We designed and built this modern-style log cabin and it rests in this remote, private location. This spot on the upper deck is my favourite. I spend hours here writing, relaxing, doing yoga and enjoying the view.
I am an award-winning writer and one of the most sought after life coaches around. Business and life are balanced in such a way that my husband and I are able to travel extensively and spend quality time together hiking, camping, and mountain biking.
When my husband is not out working as a freelance photographer or working on his next painting, he is in the kitchen cooking up tasty recipes that would give any professional chef a run for their money.
When I am not working with my clients or writing, I enjoy playing the clarinet, taking dance classes, and spending afternoons out with friends sipping specialty coffee and enjoying good conversation. Tending our bountiful vegetable and herb garden occupies the rest of my time.
I am at peace with myself and my life, healthy and happy. Our home nurtures us and all whom we invite in. We are filled with gratitude at the rewards and prosperity we have been blessed with.
Fulfillment is realized
When I sit with this visualization I feel complete. Insanely complete! While in this state there is no fear and no expectation. This feeling is timeless and alive whether the dream has manifested or not – it is the essence of fulfillment.
I have written this passage twice and although the ingredients change slightly over time, what hasn’t changed is the end result. Feeling complete.
Without fear of loss, disappointment or expectations colouring our dreams, they come alive in other ways. Imagine cultivating this feeling every day instead of waiting for it to happen someday, or waiting for the perfect life to define it.
What we do is shaped by what we feel. This feeling, this essence of fulfillment can colour everything you do and empower the choices you make. Imagine how differently you would make choices in your life, and how differently you would treat people. How differently you would treat yourself!
How are you living fulfillment in your everyday life?
What would your story be if you were to write it today?
Photo credit: Greenbroke
Barb Hartsook
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Barbara Swafford
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Hi Davina – That sounds like a glorious life.
I agree with what you said about how what we do is shaped by what we feel. Often we may feel we can’t do “this” or “that” for whatever reason, but when we let our minds wonder and our imaginations run wild, no dream is too small. I’ve always like the saying “Dream Big”. It costs nothing and the experience can bring so much joy.
I’m not sure what my story would be if I wrote it today. Now you’ve got me thinking. Hmmmmm.
P.S. It’s great to have you blogging again. From your comment on my blog, it sounds like the break was just what you needed. Welcome back. :)
Barbara Swafford’s last blog post..When Things Aren’t As They Appear
Davina,
That is a beautiful patio. It’s very close to my picture of a dream home thought not exactly and I have my own pictures all cut out in scrapbooks. Thanks for the reminder to dream again and take out those old pictures to prod myself to doing something to make them reality!
Good to hear from you again. Hope you had a wonderful break.
Daphne @ Joyful Days’s last blog post..How To Find Happiness Every Day
Wow Davina, I was going to say welcome back and what a neat picture and what a nice life design….but half way through this I flashed on Deep Friar’s statements about his life plans and fishing and wanting to live in Western Canada and change his job….
HMMM I wonder what that could mean?
I wrote out my dream from a class I took years ago….everything on that piece of paper except the financial part has come true but only in the last year! Now I need to dream bigger….and add the financial part.
So great to have to back ….
patricia’s last blog post..Morning Light is Revealing
I’m on in years, well into my sixth decade. What I learned from life is that wisdom comes with age.
My advice to you young people is to “Live The Present”.
Past — I learned that one cannot change the past, therefore don’t spend your life regretting. Learn from it.
Future — I learned that nothing in life is a given. Don’t take the future for granted.
Present – This is what really counts. Enjoy it, savour it, share it, do something with it, and most of all live it.
A famous person once said “To dream of the person you wish to be is to waste the person you are.” I agree.
I am living my dream. We moved from MI to AZ 18 months ago. As silly as this sounds, sad even, I struggle with not feeling guilty because I have it. I’m better but still improving. It’s all about self worth. I think I’ll do some EFT around it.
Tess The Bold Life’s last blog post..Magic Monday: Jonathan Mead, Reclaim Your Dreams
Hi Barbara.
Thanks, it’s good to be blogging again, although I am taking it slowly. I’m learning to believe and accept that fulfillment is in the moment. Not tomorrow, or the next day, etc. It doesn’t hurt to have dreams as long as they don’t become a diversion from real life. I’d love to hear your story :-)
Hi Daphne.
Isn’t this the best patio! So, you’re a log cabin lover too huh? Time to get those photos out again. Wallpaper your room with them, lol.
Don’t “try” too hard to make those dreams a reality. Just feel them as if they have already happened, and take that feeling forward into the choices you make. See where it takes you. Maybe it will be that cabin, maybe not. But rest assured, you’ll open up new doors. The whole “trying” puts too much pressure on the dream and gives your saboteur an excuse to get in the way.
Hi Patricia.
It’s good to be back. Thanks for the warning that Friar might be headed this way :-) I hadn’t read about his interest in moving west. That’s terrific that your dreams came to pass! And even better that you realize and appreciate it. And now… for the financial rewards… I agree. Time for a rewrite. You deserve it all!
Hi Friar’s Mom.
So nice of you to pop by and leave a comment – thank you. I’m not very far behind you… I’m halfway through my 4th decade — does that still classify me as young folk? I agree with you tenfold; the past and the future are out of our hands. The present is all that there is. And thanks for sharing that quote — it is brilliant.
Hi Tess.
Well, good for you! Congratulations on living your dream. Don’t doubt that you deserve it. You played a role in making it happen and it did — you must have valued yourself enough to accomplish this. Celebrate!
I am amazed at the synchronicity of people’s posts at some times. As though they are all pages in a book and then you come to the one that is the summary and the conclusion of that thought…There must be something to the work of the Essene’s and their cycles of life?
patricia’s last blog post..Morning Light is Revealing
That’s a great, detailed visualization. For me, when I think of the thing that would make me smile the most, it would be to get my lost vision back, and be able to drive again, be independent, get out much more than I can now. And then there would be glowing health, not a pain, endless energy, and an end to all sadness and grief.
The rest is gravy.
Dot’s last blog post..The Painfulness of Hope
Hi, Davina. Welcome back. :) I’ve learned that daydreaming (holding the vision of what you want) is a valuable past-time. You mentioned the key, too, for knowing which is the valuable one and which is just killing time. When you feel passionate and alive and as if you’re holding it in your hands right now, that’s when it’s the correct dream. Mine? It’s similar to yours. …except I’m surrounded by adobe instead of logs; my log cabin in the Rockies will be my second home, my summer home, and we’ll vacation at the ocean retreat! Oh, and except that my husband’s allergic to cats. Oh, and I’m not a life coach like you. ;)
Julie’s last blog post..Dawn
@ Davina
I reread your post. Maybe I don’t hear your written voice corretly, but your dream sounds too much like a fairy tale happily-ever-after dream.
I don’t hear “passion” in your voice and therein lies the difference between me and you. Perhaps it’s our age difference, perhaps I know my years are numbered.
Hi Patricia.
That is interesting. I just goes to show that we are all connected on some level.
Hi Dot.
I would smile with you Dot if you could have all these things again. It sounds like you don’t feel you have control over your happiness because of certain circumstances. If there is any way that these things can be returned to you I pray they are. If not, then I hope you can see other things that you can invite into your life that will make you smile.
Hi Julie.
You’re right… when I look at the picture of that patio and think about that life, I feel like I’ve arrived. There is no sense of urgency to make anything happen — it just rests. While you’re vacationing at your ocean retreat I’ll move into your summer home :-) All sounds pretty good to me. I’m allergic to cats too… I just threw that in for effect, lol. He’d be an outside cat perhaps.
Hi Friar’s Mom.
Like I mentioned to Julie, when I think of that life I already feel I am there. There is a calmness. I don’t feel my days are numbered and I don’t believe death is the end. No one knows when their time is up really. Like you said in your earlier comment, the present is what really counts. My grandmother died when she was 81 and she had the spirit of a 30-year-old bless her heart.
HOLY COW. And to think I actually know you, Davina, the tap-dancing, – sought-after coach, award-winining writer!
The only thing I would change, well two things are…
1. To live in a finished house, we’re now in year 15 since we first started remodelling / adding on.
2. To not have a second house 3000 miles away, rented and slowly falling apart.
So, I go along with my ruggedly handsome hubby’s vision. But he knows there will be no more remodels.
Now I am feeling irritated again. And sorry to spoil your nice post.
I do send him off to work and I write songs and blog, so all is not lost.
All peace shall be revealed in the fullness if time, and all that happy stuff.
Jannie Funster’s last blog post..Technical woes
You got me chuckling! You certainly have a nice dream of how you would like your husband to be. Seriously, I have never thought of imagining about what I would like to see my husband doing. It’s always more about how I would like to see myself as. However, you’ve got me thinking!!!
Evelyn Lim’s last blog post..Akashic Records Reveal DreamMaster
Another view is fulfillment is something you already have just as you are. You need nothing and have everything. Any otehr view is an illusion.
Liara Covert’s last blog post..Reframe everything as love
Ah – simply wonderful, Davina. Like Jannie, I feel this is you – can’t wait to have coffee on your deck! It sounds like you got the “click”, when you have done what you need to manifest something and now you just start attracting it, bit by bit.
I did a lot of this sort of “manifesting” work – and I can say it really works. My life has gone from pretty “average” to amazing (for me) – and I can quite truly say I done it! I think Liara misses the point.
Robin’s last blog post..What If? The Movie, A Review
Davina,
Welcome back, friend! I loved your fulfillment vision…it fits you! I enjoyed the detail of your vision and hope you also walking towards it, as we speak (write):~)
Wow…as I think of this, I don’t see a particular place or even other people…it’s more what I feel. I feel calm and peaceful about my life, whatever it is. I have managed to create a truce with my fears, anxieties and doubts. They’ve agreed I can step out of my shadows and into my sunshine, which warms me to my toes. YUMMY! I am just me…with no place to go or things to do and it feels wonderful.
p.s. my site has recovered from the flu, which put it to bed for a day:~)
Sara’s last blog post..An Exercise to Practice Positive Thinking
Hi Jannie.
By the time you finish remodeling your house, you’ll be starting on the other one. Just teasing… Hey, where’s your irritation? I saw none. You’re gonna have to try harder Jannie, cause you missed the mark. I just saw Jannie FUNster here today.
Hi Evelyn.
It was fun to visualize my husband. It is a good exercise. You should try it and let me know what you come up with, if you care to share.
Hi Liara.
That IS complete fulfillment as you’ve noted — I agree. It really doesn’t depend on what we have. This visualization is an excellent exercise to stretch beyond perceived limits and to think big… to be dreamy or playful and to connect with THAT feeling, rather than the items or places responsible. Then, to bring that feeling back into the Now and just live it, using real everyday opportunities.
Hi Robin.
You’re invited for coffee anytime, deck or no deck. But, I do love that picture — it resonates very strongly with me.
Bravo to you for DOING IT! I like how you said (for me) in your comment. That is what it is all about isn’t it? What is complete for you is all you need. Nothing else matters.
I can see where Liara is coming from. At first I thought the same as you about her missing the point. I think it depends on the perspective. If a person is focused on the material items then I see where the idea of the illusion comes into play.
When focused on the FEELING, well… that is different (at least for me). This visualization is the ideal dream for me. It stretches me past my current “boundaries.” Then I come back to reality and see there are things in my life that I can focus that same core feeling towards. Those feelings lend a taste of fulfillment now, just as I am… and that is the part that I get from Liara’s comment.
Hi Sara.
Thank you, it’s good to be back. It feels to me that you’ve arrived at fulfillment. Cause, as I mentioned above, it is all about the feeling, not necessarily about the circumstances. Total acceptance of where you are at. I believe when a person stops feeling like they have to collect things to add to their life to feel good, and just collects experiences where they are actually living and sharing their life… they are Home, so to speak. It’s about Being fulfilled, rather than Doing fulfillment.
I can visualize you now Sara, sitting in the sun enjoying the calmness you have created in your life.
Hi Davina – That sounds awesome – especially the bit about your husband being able to cook like a pro chef.
What I want has changed so much that I’m still trying to work it out. And I think I’m halfway there. I am hoping your future self meditation will help. I’m going to do it after I’ve finished the Silva program, as I’m hoping I’ll have a clearer picture by then. Do I just do it once, or will I need to do it more times to see where I am heading?
Hi Cath.
Oh, yes I would love to marry a man who cooks. There something sexy about a man in the kitchen. (I know… that statement could go anywhere — but let’s keep it clean, lol). I do love to cook myself, but it’s great to be cooked for too.
That’s great Cath that you are seeing progress. Congratulations on stopping smoking! I would do the Future Self Meditation once and give yourself some time to work with the identity that you uncover — it becomes a sounding board. I would wait a few months before doing it again, and then make note of the changes and be flexible with the process.
I love your ideal life. Your description is so vivid.
I’m very close to living my dream. Paradoxically, what would bring me there – to the ideal – would be less time on the computer, but the time on the computer helps me build my career, which brings me a sense of purpose and satisfaction.
Vered – MomGrind’s last blog post..Teen Fashion
I FELT irritated here the other night.
But I got over it.
:)
And I’ll be singing in a video on my blog post tomorrow!! YAy!!!
xo
Jannie Funster’s last blog post..Technical woes
Hi Davina
I’ve been doing quite a bit of this dreaming over just the last two days! And, gosh, it feels great.
“What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail” is something I like to think about.
Juliet
LifeMadeGreat | Juliet’s last blog post..Being Understood – Juliet’s Comment
Hi Davina – Thanks. I can definitely see the benefits of having someone cook for you.
I guess I was worried about doing the future meditation, incase I got it wrong in the first place. I only have one Silva day to do, then I’ll do it.
Thanks for the encouragement on the smoking – I have been nicotine free for almost 3 weeks now. It has been hard – but worthwhile. Because I’ve smoked too long and too much I’ve had some crappy side effects.
My skin has been peeling off since the toxins started coming out – I thought I was allergic to a new detergent at first. Blogging has been the worst, as I smoke a lot when I’m reading, so I’ve read less – you haven’t been blogging, so you haven’t tempted me to smoke :)
@Jannie – I knew you were remodelling your house but I didn’t know you had another one too. Where is 3000 miles away from you? I would have to drive up and down England several times to achieve that distance.
Cath Lawson’s last blog post..Does Music Inspire Your Work?
Hi Vered.
You are a huge source of encouragement for me. Luckily, as you say, the time you are spending online is contributing to your fulfillment. It is all coming together.
Hi Jannie.
I’m downloading your video right now. Catch you over at janniefunster.com :-)
Hi Juliet.
Doesn’t it feel great? I’m glad you are enjoying this. I’d love to hear your story if/when you write one.
Hi Cath.
I’m quite happy to do the meditation with you over the phone if you’d rather do it that way. But just so you know… you can’t get it wrong :-) Just jump in and see where it takes you. Lol, I’m glad to have supported your smoking cessation with less blogging.
The photo is simply dreamy! I want to acknowledge you for dreaming big and for being able to truly visualize what you are wanting in your life. This post is very much in sync with my Authentic Happiness series and I am going to add this post to my list of resources.
Stacey / Create a Balance’s last blog post..Authentic Happiness Series – Part Two
Hello Davina!
That was so beautiful. I enjoyed every word of your “ideal” setting and I hope you always hold that dear and real in your heart because I believe that it is the passion, focus and want that drives our dreams to becoming our reality.
As for me, I have to say that I am moving in the direction of that “ideal” setting. I am loosening the ties of a job that ties me to a place and time and leaving it behind to first and foremost be free, free to be, do, live, think or say anything and anywhere I want. And most importantly free to pursue all of my passions with no holds barred. And that for me is feeling complete.
Hi Stacey.
I know… this photo is amazing. I look at it and I can feel the warmth of the sun and the fresh air, and even imagine the sound of the wind in the trees. Sigh.
Thank you for adding this to your list of resources for the Authentic Happiness series. I was reading about it — it sounds terrific. We are very in sync aren’t we? Great minds…
Hi Evita.
Wow, you are getting ready to take off. I can feel that from reading your words. You are building up to something big. Imagine the possibilities… oh wait, you have! :-)
Beautiful photo, I feel like I can hear birds and smile the air. I would drink my tea and read a book in a patio like this. :-)
We must dream, it is what keep us human. Our needs and wants of our vision.
Thank you for sharing.
Giovanna Garcia
Imperfect Action is better than No Action
Giovanna Garcia’s last blog post..Believe in yourself.
Each day I live my life to the extent of my imagination and the illusions I create.
Mostly I’m happy with that.
Thanks for the reminder to dream big.
best wishes Ribbon
PS hope your dreams come true………. I have the partner who cooks and is a triathlete :-)
Ribbon’s last blog post..Invitation…
Hi Giovanna.
You’re welcome. Ok, I’ll put the kettle on to make tea. What time shall I expect you? :-)
Hi Ribbon.
Welcome! Life would be pretty boring without imagination. After all, where would blogging be without it? Your husband sounds like the one I described in my vision. Lucky you!
If I was talking about my Life as a dream came true…if I could have whatever I wanted, it would certainly NOT include “working”. :-)
Friar sent me over here (well, he didn’t *send* me, but you know what I mean). I wasn’t going to comment at first, because I had to think about what I wanted to say a little.
The answer to this challenge is very personal, different for everyone, and therefore what is right for me, is not right for you.
My own personal thoughts? If I’m going to dream, I dream big. I don’t believe that these things have to be black or white.
I’m an engineer, and a problem solver. I live for the grey.
One can be happy where one is, and still strive for much, much more. That does not mean you are wasting your life right now.
Usually when someone famous says words like the ones Friar’s Mom quoted (and they are good words to be considered, for sure), they have “already made it” – know what I mean?
Much like the people who say “money isn’t everything” or “be thankful for what you have” – well I agree, but isn’t it interesting that the people who say that *have* all the money they need, and are quite comfortable. And yet, on the other hand, all the money in the world is useless if you are sick or you lose a loved one – so I understand that.
It is a grey zone.
Rest assured, I am happy where I am, yet can we not strive to be better in some way? I think it ties in to what Friar’s Mom said about not taking the future for granted, and so this is where I would say that the “be in the present and don’t dream” mentality doesn’t make sense to me.
You can have two sets of dreams, maybe? A realistic set, that really isn’t a crazy dream, but a realistic path forward, and a crazy set like ruling the world.
Probably a few of the people reading this have run a marathon or a half marathon, and to other folks, that would be considered a crazy dream.
So I say, live for today, plan for the future in a realistic way, yet, dream big. If people before us had not decided to dream big, there would have been no moon landings. There would be no heart transplants. Automobiles. Airplanes. Sailing ships. Pyramids.
All foolish notions for people who refuse to dream big.
Brett Legree’s last blog post..full circle.
Hi Friar.
OMG you’re right! What was I thinking? Sigh… back to the vision board, lol.
Hi Brett.
My head hurts! :-) I’m glad you commented — was a little worried when the first few words I saw were, “Friar sent me…” but I’m better now. I understand exactly what you are saying. This IS very personal and unique to each one of us. You could say that there are many different shades of grey — different strides, different steps, etc. Dreaming big expands our horizons and makes our lives bigger — more room to play.
What you say here bears repeating, “One can be happy where one is, and still strive for much, much more. That does not mean you are wasting your life right now.” Amen! Thanks Brett.
@Brett
Holy geez, I think you wrote more here than you do on your own blog! :-)
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