Positively Present
Today, I’m happy to share a special guest blogger with you. This guest blogger is Positively Present and I mean that literally.
Many of you have been reading Dani’s blog for a while now, and I’m sure you will agree that her posts have a huge impact. She has a definite strength in getting an important message across. Powerful messages are sometimes hard to communicate. Dani does it with flair and uses one of my favourite processes — metaphors.
On one of her recent posts Find a Balance Between Having Hope and Living Now, Dani wrote:
“…we can steer our own ships. Knowing I can choose my path, making the decision to grab the wheel and steer, is in a way, hope personified. I am, in fact, taking my hope and steering it where I want it to go.”
Dani’s writing is magnetic and encourages thoughts to meander off in new directions. She opens doors and refurnishes those neural pathways. This girl has a gift. Her posts are packed with a healthy punch of positive presence! Enjoy.
The Shades of Happiness
Happiness is clearly a topic I like to think about a lot. I write about it nearly every day in some form on my blog. I contemplate it constantly in my daily activities, always looking for new sources of inspiration for myself and my readers. As the author of a blog focusing on positivity and living a happier life, I’ve done quite a bit of reading on happiness and I’ve discovered something very interesting amid all that I’ve observed.
There are many shades of happiness.
Happiness is not black or white. It’s not “I’m happy” or “I’m unhappy.” Happiness, in my opinion, is one of those things that can fall anywhere from the deepest happiness and inner peace to the slight increase of happiness when one looks at a pleasant image. There are so many kinds of happiness that it’s almost overwhelming to think about.
I’ve recently found myself very interested in Positive Psychology. In looking into the subject, I came across three distinct types of happiness, each representing different types of life. Personally I believe that individuals can embody all three of these types of happiness or they can possess different shades of each, blending together into a colorful life of peace and well-being. I’m going to outline these three types of happiness here and explore them a bit by adding my own insights.
Three Shades of Happiness
1. Pleasant Life: A pleasant life consists of having as much pleasure as you can, as many of the positive emotions, and learning some of the dozen or so techniques that actually work for increasing the duration and intensity of your pleasures. There are shortcuts to the pleasures. You can go shopping; you can watch television; you can take drugs. These things do not lead to true happiness.
While I do agree that instant gratification and seeking pleasure from outside sources will not bring about lasting happiness, I do think that some degree of pleasure in life is a good thing. As with everything, the pleasant life should be lived in moderation, making sure that pleasures are not substitutes for real, true joy. It is important to balance a pleasant life with the other shades of happiness. When it comes to living a pleasant life, remember to moderate yourself and not allow physical pleasures to dominate your world.
2. Engaged Life: An engaged life is being one with the music, being totally wrapped up in the people you love or what you’re hearing. There are no shortcuts to the engaged life. The engaged life can only be had by first knowing what your highest strengths are, your signature strengths, and re-crafting your life to use them at work, in love, in leisure, in parenting and in friendship.
Clearly, it is very important to live an engaged life. Not only will those around you benefit from your engaged living style, but you will receive many benefits as well. When you are completely wrapped up in what’s going on around you, when you are living in the moment, you are truly living a full life. Personally, when I feel down, the first thing I want to do is disengage myself from my life and from those who love and support me. But this is the wrong action to take. No matter what, stay engaged in your life. You will ultimately find more happiness this way.
3. Meaningful Life: A meaningful life consists of again knowing what your highest strengths and talents are and using them in the service of something that you believe is bigger than you are.
Living a meaningful life is so, so important. When you are living without purpose, it is difficult to know true happiness. You feel as if you’re floating, unsure of where you’re supposed to be or what direction you are going in. This is not a good feeling and it often causes a great deal of unhappiness. Taking your strengths and using them to benefit other people is one of the greatest things you can do – and this is something we can all do. Everyone has unique strengths. Think about what yours are and how you can use them to make the lives of others better. In the process, you’ll make your life better too!
As I’m sure you know there are many, many layers to happiness. These are only three types of happiness out of the many types I believe you can experience. I hope you can see how these three shades of happiness can blend together to create a happier existence. Each of us has the power to choose what shades of happiness we want to use to create the color of who we are. At times this can seem overwhelming, but it is truly wonderful that happiness comes in so many amazing, inspiring shades.
Information for this post came from an article written by Dr. Martin Seligman “The Three Types of Happiness.” You can find more information about authentic happiness and positive psychology by visiting www.authentichappiness.org.
Dani and I want to know what shades of happiness you see in your own life?
Photo Credit: Sabrina Campagna
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I find the observation that happiness is not black or white interesting. For many years, i used to assume it was. Only recently have I come to realize that my quest for a constant state of extreme happiness was the wrong quest.
Vered – MomGrind´s last blog ..Truth In Advertising
Hi Dani! Great to see you here. Wonderful and thought provoking post. I would say that my live is meaningful and engaging (especially when I am doing photography). But I will admit there are days when it’s just pleasant and sometimes downright difficult. I will say that in the past year I have made an effort at being more present in my life. That has made all the difference in the world!
Caroline´s last blog ..Blog vacation
Hi Davina and Dani,
What a fabulous and enlightening post. Like Vered said, in the past I used to think happiness was black and white. An either, or. As I’ve aged I’ve learned that’s simply not the case
I find my levels of happiness change from day to day, and sometimes from hour to hour, but all in all, I’m basically happy most of the time.
Barbara Swafford´s last blog ..How To Capitalize On Your Blog Statistics
I find that the simpler my life is, the happier I seem to be. There’s a lot to be said for living a simple life. Of course, there’s nothing simple about owning your own businesses (I have a few).
Great post. Reading the post made me happy hehe.
Also, I loved this quote from Vered:
“quest for a constant state of extreme happiness” ;)
John Hoff – WpBlogHost´s last blog ..New Regulations For USA Bloggers May Be Around The Corner
Davina, thanks for giving me to opportunity to put a guest post up on this great site of yours! :) I really appreciate all of the nice things you said about me in the opening of this post. Your words mean a lot to me!
Thank you everyone for sharing your thoughts on this post. It’s great to see what everyone else has to say about happiness and the various shades of it within our lives!
If one feels like a victim, entitled, like blaminganother, waiting to be rescued one can’t have any level of happiness. So if you feel unhappy it’s possilbe you’re stuck in one of these.
This is yet another great and inspiring post Dani. For the last few years I have been inspired by my fiance to read inspiring books. And these three shades of Happiness remind me of the book, “Eat, Pray, Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert. She had a mental break down one day and realized that who she was and what she was doing wasn’t what she wanted. Through her travels in Italy, India, and Indonesia she found what she was looking for and most importantly she found herself…or began the journey in finding her trueself. And since reading her book I have been on a journey to make my life more positive and filled with joy and happiness. Sometimes I catch myself getting angry and I try to get back to the meaning of her book. Thanks for more inspiration and thank you for featuring Dani on your blog Davina
Hi Davina! Thanks for introducing me to this new blogger!
Great post Positively Present! I’d like to think that I do strive for and live out those three shades in my life. I have really made that a priority in fact, because I think deep down love and happiness is all there really is. And when we don’t get in the way of those two, we are open to enjoying them infinitely!
Thanks for these wise words!
Evita´s last blog ..Time Spent Well
Just wonderful and uplifting!
Pleasant, engaged and meaningful life — I think that exactly describes the Dani I am coming to know.
And you, Davina!
Jannie Funster´s last blog ..Five Little Lightbulbs
Thanks Davina for showcasing Dani, and well done Dani for presenting Seligman’s work so succinctly, personally and enjoyably.
What shades of happiness do I see in my own life? Most of the time I’m very open, present and grateful. I’m getting more serene and content as I grow older, integrating my gifts and values into the daily details of my life. I’ve always lived a meaningful and engaged life and found love and joy in the simplest of things which makes me happy in a deep and steady way, if that makes sense. I’m not the bubbly kind of happy. Moods can come and go, sadness and grief ebb and flow, but I rarely stay down for long.
Nice guest post – thank you!
janice´s last blog ..Take Time to Treasure What’s Important
I LOVE the comparison between the engaged life and the meaningful life. There is so much truth there.
Thanks Dani for sharing your voice on this blog — what a treat this is! I was thrilled when you said yes to writing a guest post. And thanks everyone for your comments…
Hi Vered.
I agree! I’ve done the same thing. It’s so much easier when we don’t have to try so hard.
Hi Caroline.
Dani did an excellent job didn’t she? I think one of the tricks of “being” happy is to not beat up on ourselves when we don’t feel that way. And… to take the camera out for a walk :-)
Hi Barbara.
That’s great that happiness plays a big part in your life. It’s good to know happiness isn’t black and white — gives us more “wiggle room” :-)
Hi John.
I hear you! The simpler the better. LOL — there’s nothing simple about owning your own business. “Don’t worry, be happy” :-)
Hi Dani.
You ARE welcome! And it’s all the truth. From the first time I landed on your blog I was hooked. You are doing an excellent job.
Hi Tess.
It’s all about choice it seems… Have you noticed how sometimes we can quickly and easily shift our perspective out of those frames of mind you’ve mentioned, while other times we struggle to stay stuck?
Hi Diana.
You’re welcome. Thanks for your comment. I’ve heard about “Eat, Pray, Love” a few times this year and hope I can steal some time away to read it soon. Sounds like it had quite an impact on your life. That is great that you have become more aware of your emotions — they’re quite the wave to ride :-)
Hi Evita.
You’re welcome. I’m sure you’ll enjoy Dani’s blog. I like what you’ve said here about making happiness a priority. That is so true — as soon as we assert ourselves to something it comes clearer into view… more possible.
Hi Jannie.
It takes one to know one :-)
Hi Janice.
You’re welcome. When you can find joy in the simplest of things, you have more opportunities right at your doorstep. You used the word “engaged” here and I think that is so important to being aware of and appreciating how we are feeling.
Hi Hayden.
It’s great to have different perspectives and approaches to identify with and experience. It give us so much more room to grow, and as a few others have said, there is less possibility for a black and white approach.
Hi D & D – I like the way you describe shades or types of happiness. I think I’d also describe happiness as being the normal state when you aren’t feeling unhappy! – eg. when I’m working on something and just thinking about what I’m doing. For example, if I am doing stage managing I would describe my state as energetic, dynamic focus – hardly “blissed out”, but definitely true happiness. – R
Robin´s last blog ..An Eventful Month
Hi Dani – This is a useful comparison and I’m guessing that a balance between an engaged and meaninful life is necessary, to achieve true happiness.
I think in the past, I was so busy trying to have a meaningful life, that I did not really have an engaged life at all. And instead of feeling happy, I was just stressed most of the time.
Hi, Ugh, I liked! So clear and positively.
Thanks
Joker
I like this. I never thought about there being stages of happiness to be achieved. It makes me realize both that I’m already there in some ways and that there is a goal to work towards.
Dot´s last blog ..Comment on My Mother Has Passed by Davina
Hi Davina and Dani,
I’ve thought of happiness in levels, but not layers. Interesting. As a person who spent years in depression, I found happiness — in any size, shape or color — was rare. Now, I’m past much of that and look to my relationship with Christ as the wellspring of inner peace. What follows isn’t always happiness, but rather fulfillment. I’m happy with that!
Lori Hoeck´s last blog ..How our intuition warns of danger
I agree that pleasure from instant gratification is sort of like applying a bandaid, but I think pleasure in other forms is a very important aspect of happiness. And it doesn’t have to be material at all. I find pleasure sharing a morning hot tub with Mr. Very Right, sipping my espresso, and listening the birds singing at 5:30 a.m. I find pleasure in those 2 tiny squares of 85% dark chocolate I have each night. But maybe it’s semantics. Maybe those are aspects of leading an engaged life, considering both activities are shared with my man. Hmmmm … well, regardless, it is very important to me to savour life, be it hot tubs, or dark chocolates, or birds singing, or daily routines with Mr. Very Right. That’s what makes me happy :-)
Eliza´s last blog ..Empty Nest Syndrome is very real
Davina,
This is a wonderful guest post! You did well featuring Dani, and writing such an uplifting introduction.
Dani,
You’re really coming into your own as a blogger. I really like the idea of shades of happiness, and think I fluctuate between a pleasantly, engagingly, and meaningfully happy. Some food for thought for me to ponder on. Thanks for sharing this useful perspective.
Daphne @ Joyful Days´s last blog ..Your 24 Possible Personal Strengths
Hey Robin.
D & D, LOL. Speaking of happiness… you are the picture of that in your avatar. I like your description of energetic and dynamic focus. I believe the blissed-out state is not really happiness at all, because there is a fogginess there and a dulled sense of awareness; like being drunk. I can see you stage-managing and being in the moment, letting it flow. That whole idea sounds intriguing.
Hi Cath.
It is interesting to look at happiness from this angle isn’t it? It’s like “trying” to have a meaningful life is counterproductive — no wonder you were feeling stressed. I hope you come back and read Dot’s comment; it is right on!
Hi Joker.
You’re welcome!
Hi Dot.
These are encouraging words. It kind of gives you some “wiggle room” doesn’t it? No pressure to have it all and more satisfaction from appreciating what you already have. I loved this comment Dot. Thank you!
Hi Lori.
That is an interesting comparison you’ve made between happiness and fulfillment. Gives confirmation to the idea that feelings of fulfillment are without expectation of having to “be” anything in particular. Your experience with depression has given you a lot of insight. I’m glad to hear that you are on the other side of all that. To have been there and back is reason to celebrate!
You know, your mention of viewing happiness in levels combined with depression makes me wonder about the link between depression and feeling “down-in-the-dumps” and having to “climb out of it” to a higher level. I wonder if seeing it as layers rather than levels could help people with this condition?
Hi Daphne.
Thank you! :-) Dani sure has a way with words. I’m glad you’ve enjoyed her guest post. As you say, it really is food for thought. It’s encouraging to not feel like you have to have IT all.
Hi Eliza.
Sorry, I didn’t see you there as you went into moderation. Sigh… your story sounds wonderful — all of it — from the morning hot tub and dark chocolate, to Mr. Right and the birds singing at 5:30 a.m. Mr. Very Right is Very Lucky to have you and your appreciation! There is something quite engaging about “sharing” with another human being. That has to be the peak of happiness AND fulfillment all rolled into one. Thank you for sharing!
I find great pleasure in learning something new, and I liked the way the 3 shades were described and it truly gave me new information and new insight.
Thank you Dani and Davina
patricia´s last blog ..Agenda for a New Economy: From Phantom Wealth to Real Wealth ~By David C. Korten
Hi Patricia.
You’re welcome. This idea of seeing happiness as different “shades” has been really helpful hasn’t it? I’m glad you’ve found this useful — thanks again Dani! :-)
Hi Davina,
I see depression more organically — having roots and branching upward. People often deal with the branches, but the roots were my problem.
Lori Hoeck´s last blog ..How our intuition warns of danger
These are important distinctions. An interesting thing to me about the third, a meaningful life, is that to me it’s associated primarily with a deep peace – so profound and real that it occurs even if the pursuit of meaning brings suffering. When I was younger, I would have thought of “suffering” and “happiness” of any kind as mutually exclusive…
Thank you all for your wonderful comments and encouragement. I’m so grateful to have been able to share this post on Shades of Crimson. I’d love to respond individually to each of you but between my blog and a very busy week at work I don’t think I’ll be able to do that right now. However, I want you all to know that I REALLY appreciate the comments on this guest post. I loved reading all of the feedback and the compliments have been amazing. Thank you, thank you, thank you!! :) You have made me very happy!
Positively Present´s last blog ..life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness
Davina and Dani,
WOW…two of my favorite bloggers in one place!
Dani — This was a great post. Your writing is becoming more and more powerful. And you have made your pursuit of happiness an wonderful adventure for all of us.
Dani and Davina — In answer to your question, I see a kaleidoscope of colors in my happiness…all different shades, but each distinct (we’re not making black here) and I always have the choice to flow with them:~)
Sara´s last blog ..The Second Chance
Hi Lori.
That’s a great analogy for depression. Are you using the roots to symbolize your past and the branches your future — branching out in new directions, etc?
Hi Paul.
This is a great connection you’ve brought up about deep peace and a meaningful life, even combined with suffering. It’s like deep peace is just about the unfolding of Self — even those parts that are brought about by the suffering. Thanks Paul!
Hi Dani.
You are welcome! Thanks for sharing this with everyone. I know these 3 distinctions were very thought-provoking for a lot of people. This was excellent.
Hi Sara.
Thank you :-) Powerful is the perfect word to describe Dan’s writing too. She has quite an impact. A kaleidoscope is a brilliant analogy for different shades of happiness; you’ve made me think of different notes in a song. You are so creative with your words.
what would really make me happy is a balanced life.
Natural´s last blog ..Why Wait, Buy Now!
Hi Natural.
I hear you! The thoughts of a balanced life — dreamy. Just imagine having a balanced life and drink IT in; even for a moment.
Davina, happiness can also be experienced as a baseline state of being. From this vantage point, one does not need to do anything to be happy. One can simply accept to remember the fundamental truth and discard all other illusions that are not grounded in love and acceptance.
Liara Covert´s last blog ..10 Ways to access your answer
Hi Liara.
I hear you! Thank you. We can so easily become distracted and forget that we have this capability; right there, right now, within us. The world of illusion can be quite convincing unless we assert daily that we are already grounded in happiness.
Great choice of guest post, Davina. I think many people forget that happiness is a journey, not the end result. If you’re dreaming of making $X salary, and you get it — most likely it will not be enough. So I believe we need to take joy in the things we do daily. For many of us, the end result won’t be enough and that’s a sure way to never feel happy.
Meryl K Evans´s last blog ..Almost Everything You Want to Know about Twitter for Business
Hi Meryl.
This is very true what you say. Focusing on the end result raises expectations which tend to exceed reality. “Happiness is a journey” is a very wise perspective. And, I needed to be reminded of that, so thank you!
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