Chapter Five: An artist on the fence
“Do what intrigues you, explore what interests you; think mystery, not mastery.”
Julia Cameron
There was time before dinner to do some sketching. I’d enjoyed art class in high school and even before I picked up the pencil I was visualizing the work of art I was about to create. Yeah right. Keep visualizing Davina. This froggy I drew in high school is 30 years old and I hadn’t picked up a brush or pencil since then.
My package of pencils contained an HB, 2B, 4B and an 8B they called THE water-soluble option. I couldn’t remember what pencil gave what effect, so I scribbled in the corner of the page and rubbed my fingers over each smudge; didn’t notice a whole lot of difference. Don’t think I really cared to tell you the truth. I just wanted to draw — to command the artist to come forth — to master the artist within.
I picked up the HB pencil, took a breath and began sketching a tall tree in the foreground, slightly to the left of the clearing. Started at the top and slowly scratched and scribbled down the page, holding my breath while I etched out what I hoped would accurately render the view.
Quickly tired of the tree and moved to the mountains. They soon looked like mountainous blobs of gray smudges on the page. Defeat was shaking its nasty finger at me, “Na Na Na Na Naa Na.” So, I switched pencils.
The pencil followed my lead to sketch two small islands that as you’ll see below, became two mounds of grass in a swamp, rather than two islands in an ocean. It was time to quit before the page ended up a crumpled mass at the bottom of the garden and the pencils became splinters scattered in the bushes.
Though I aspire to be quite zen-like… I have a temper just like my mother had. Thankfully, THAT is one thing I have been learning to master, unlike mother. She was an amazing artist though; painted in oils and water colours, did animal portraits in pastels and charcoal, and even painted commercial signs.
She once helped me make a paper mâché mask of King Tutankhamun and it won first prize in a school contest. It was mostly all her work though and I felt a little guilty about winning. She was one talented lady.
So there I sat, disappointed to say the least. Pencils scattered on the deck and a very inadequate rendering of the magnificent view before me. I told myself that I was expecting too much after so many years and moved to the kitchen to prepare dinner.
A seasoned cook
I know my way around the kitchen and it’s my dream to one day live in a home with the brightest, most spacious and well-equipped kitchen I could ever imagine. I love to cook and pride myself in being able to do three or four things at once while I’m working in the kitchen.
When I have guests over I go to great pains to plan the meal well ahead of time. I want to treat my guests like kings and queens and take pride in creating just the right mood to entertain them in. Cooking is an art and little did I know that I was in for yet another creative pursuit.
Whatever possessed me to buy squash at the Ruddy Potato, I’ll never know. I couldn’t peel it properly because the peeler wasn’t sharp enough. In fact, I could barely saw through the darn squash with a knife.
I persevered, carving the skin off in chunks and when I was finished, the kitchen was a mess. There were squash clippings everywhere. I soothed my frustration by sipping red wine. It worked.
This reminded me of my mother again, in the kitchen one Christmas. While she was taking the turkey out of the oven it fell on the floor. She wasn’t drinking red wine at the time. She should have been though.
That wasn’t a very Christmassy moment. If you’ll recall, I mentioned my mother’s temper earlier… We were able to laugh about this later on and it became a story that was retold every holiday season: “Remember that time mom dropped the turkey on the floor?”
After I finished massacring the squash, dinner came together quite nicely. Massacring the squash eh? What was it I’d said in Chapter One about putting a little tender loving care into my meals? Still haven’t decided if I mastered the squash or it mastered me — think it was a co-active moment.
I wouldn’t have won any prizes for presentation, but dinner tasted good; scallops and mushrooms fried in garlic and lots of butter, with rice, asparagus and of course, pulverized squash.
Chapter Six coming in a few days.
So, tell me a story about your creative pursuits in the kitchen or otherwise. How’s that workin out for ya?
Evita
Hilary
Joy
Linda
Megan "JoyGirl!" ...
Patricia
Tess The Bold Life
Tony Single
vered
{ 33 comments }
What a beautiful drawing you show! I’m lucky if I can draw a convincing stick figure. :)
Regarding cooking, I cook like I hack – I know what I’m starting out with, I know what I want to end up with…but how I get there, wow. :) It’s an adventure.
.-= Barbara Ling, Virtual Coach´s last blog ..Today’s Make Money Tip – Power up via PLR =-.
Hi Davina!
I love, just love that froggy! I looked at it first and then was so delighted to hear that YOU created it! Wow! Your sketches are really good. I felt at many times in my life too, a call to paint and draw and I dabbled in it here and there, but nothing ever serious enough that I could call a “hobby”.
And squash, eh? Well this leads me to my creative moment in the kitchen. There are so many squash around in the stores now, and I just recently learned what an amazing source of omega 3 fats they are – especially butternut squash, so I bought 2 different varieties and experimented with one this past week. I have to confess, I was also inclined to buy them because they came with stickers of how to prepare and cook them. So my first experience with squash was with the sweet baked dumpling. It was awesome and so yummy! No peeling, you cut it in half, take out the seeds, place halfs down in pan and bake in oven for about 35 mins – and viola!
I have to say it was su fun and tasty, that I will now be buying at least one regularly each week as their season lasts :)
.-= Evita´s last blog ..SkyWatch Friday – Oh Those Skies! =-.
Hi Davina – I married the cook, that’s how! LOL I’m with Evita – squash is awesome. Pete makes squash gnocchi, sweet little dumplings as a yummy side dish, especially drizzled with maple syrup. Yum, it’s just about the season for them.
I’m so enjoying this story. Thank you.
Davina,
What a gift your mother passed on to you…the frog is remarkable and the tree and mountains are very zen like. I love to paint never had a class and I’m not good but who cares. If I did care I probably could get good or at least better.
Instead I’m going to brush up on my Espanol. I don’t like to cook but squash I loved. We grew them on the farm. Yum-Yum like my daughter says to my new grandson. (I still call him new even if he is 9 months). I love all types. Not one I don’t think is great to pop in the oven on a cold fall or winter day. If I’m in a hurry I do it in the microwave. Don’t tell Evita. She probably doesn’t own one!
Great art and story.
.-= Tess The Bold Life´s last blog ..Rapping Southwest Flight Attendant =-.
LOL Tess, you are right ;)
When me and my husband moved in together, we decided not to buy a microwave. I lived most of my life without it and then at some point in my early teens my parents got one. So when I started my new life, and not feeling too great about microwaves in general, I thought “perfect opportunity” to go microwave free. And I have to say I have never missed it, or felt I needed it. It is all a matter of what we get used to. But good guess I have to say :D
.-= Evita´s last blog ..SkyWatch Friday – Oh Those Skies! =-.
I like your art!
I can butcher even stick figure, and there’s something called perspective I mentally dumped in with the horror of geometry and never really got it. I once sent a card to my mom from college that contained a second-grade level drawing — sun, tree, grass, and rainbow. I wrote in the note, “Aren’t you glad I’m taking journalism instead of art?”
Squash works best for me after 1 hour in the oven at 400 (F), cooked whole. It lets the sugars do their thing. Mmmm … add butter and brown sugar to taste! I cook by smell, so presentation may be off sometimes, but the house will always be filled with a great aroma.
.-= Lori Hoeck´s last blog ..Distractions help movie heroes and self defense =-.
I know I already said it, but as much as I try, I cannot skim your text. This is one of the few places I read every word!
And that drawing. Wow.
I love to bake. It calms me down and relaxes me. I especially like to bake alone, but the past few years I almost always bake with my kids. I miss baking alone.
I loved this post; I was right there with you, wanting to draw, but unable to match the one really great thing I drew in 11th grade art class that one time. The time I thought, “Hey, I could be an artist!” (I couldn’t have been.)
I’ve since traded in any (borrowed) art supplies for a keyboard and spend my days writing… Not every day, mind you. I don’t have the patience for that. It’s more like any day I feel inspired, which thankfully was today! It worked out well enough, although there are days when I massacre not squashes, but sentences. Luckily no one suffers as a result. Those are the days when I simply hit command “s” and close the file for the time being, waiting until the time when my mind works a bit better and more clearly before attempting that sort of creativity again. (smile)
Enjoy your week!
.-= Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s last blog ..Feeling Prosperous =-.
I think I often “ruined” the squash until I started baking it instead of steaming, it seemed so wet before. Butternut is like heaven in a dish.
My temper- doing better than Mom too. We evolve consciously and so well, don’t we?
.-= Jannie Funster´s last blog ..Now, Where’d I Put Those Passports? =-.
Oh, your sketching is nothing short of masterful for my eyes. Thank you!.
.-= Jannie Funster´s last blog ..Now, Where’d I Put Those Passports? =-.
Hi Barbara.
LOL, oh yes an adventure! That’s for sure. Pity for the people you are cooking for though eh? Keeps them on the edge of their seats? And God knows WHY I didn’t just bake the damn squash (too impatient). Thank you for linking to this post too, BTW.
Hi Evita.
Isn’t he a cute froggy! I LOVE frogs. I didn’t know squash had omega properties. That sure beats eating flaxseed now doesn’t it? Baked squash is yummy — especially with butter, and some people sprinkle a little cinnamon in it too. I knew someone who baked spaghetti squash and topped it with pesto. Was really good.
Hi Betsy.
Now YOU are smart! There’s something sexy about a man who can cook I’ll tell ya. Cooking together is fun too ;-) Squash gnocchi drizzled with maple syrup… okay… my mouth is watering now.
Hi Tess.
Thanks! And you think the tree and mountains are zen-like? HOLYYYYY. Maybe I should finish the sketch then. It’s definitely the season for squash now and there are so many ways to cook it too. My advice? Best not to try to peel it :-) You could try painting abstracts… just splash some colour on the page and voila! Put a frame on it and sell it for $1,000. Finger painting… now THAT would be fun!
@ Evita, lol. We learned in nutrition school that microwaves were baaaaaaad. But I ended up buying one eventually. Mine kicked the bucket a few months back and I opted to not buy another one. I’m gradually getting used to not using one.
Hi Lori.
Thank you. I bet your mom treasured that card. Even though I sucked in math, I enjoyed drawing with perspective. Weird huh? Mmm butter and brown sugar… music to my ears.
Hi Vered.
Wow, thank you! I LOVE hearing that. I’ve enjoyed your posts where you share your baking adventures. The pictures are well done and I always find myself thinking that I just wouldn’t have the patience to stop at those intervals and shoot the pictures. And there is NOTHING like a good picture of a cookie… even when it’s still half-cooked and all soft and gooey in the oven tray.
Hi Megan.
Those high expectations eh? I hear you… massacring sentences is much easier to fix, especially when you are a writer right? :-) When the artist is off kilter, even an eraser won’t do the trick. You are doing a great job of not being too hard on yourself with that “command s” trick. It’s hard for a lot of people to just let go like that.
Hi Jannie.
Baking is the BEST way to handle squash and butternut is one of my favourite varieties. You’re right about evolving consciously. It’s not really something a person can force. Imagine trying NOT to have a temper tantrum when the lid is about to explode. A person has to want to see things another way. And some people are just addicted to the rush that anger brings up. It’s not even about the situation itself.
Glad you enjoyed the sketching. It was a very “sketchy” experience, lol.
Davina,
Gosh I wish I could draw like that. The frog really stole my heart… if I’d done that I would have framed and hung it on a wall for everyone to see… I would be that proud!
.-= Daphne @ Joyful Days´s last blog ..What Makes A Good Relationship =-.
How sweet it is Davina….your lovely story and drawings. You paint with your words.
I used to love to cook and bake and research and make nutritious allergy free meals. As of late I am not liking it very much at all and it stimulates my appetite – I really love to eat, to taste, ah yes I enjoy the art of eating.
I adore squash – it started out as a way to get my brother and sister back – because they did not like it….They always ordered up Mac and Cheese (homemade) which just made me sick to my stomach.
My favorite way to eat pumpkin is to slice it into thin slices ( like a C ) and then lightly brush with olive oil and putting it in my grilling pan for 4 mins.
My family then salts it…but I can not have salt so I have learned to love it without. French Fries can not even hold a candle to this….yum
I am the queen of Microwave oven cooking as that was all I had for 3 years when the children were little. My brother in law is a MW energy expert who worked for the Ball Corporation ( canning jars) and he shared with me that MW cooking leaves most of the nutrient in the food and does not break down the fiber as quickly as other forms of cooking. Ones food is closer to eating raw.
It also saves a great deal of money on our purchase of energy to cook, such as the clothes line gives us a better dryer and does not emit harmful properties.
So I don’t use a clothes dryer that uses energy but I do most cooking with a microwave….except soup, which one wishes to break down and meld into its newly formed existence.
I am making organic, free range, chicken noodle (homemade GF egg noodles) soup for my husband tomorrow, with pumpkin muffins and blackberry crisp….You coming over I’ll set you a place!
I will be having my raw salad and blueberries for dinner….and eating alone to keep from stimulating my appetite.
.-= patricia´s last blog ..I LOVE THIS MAGAZINE =-.
It sounds like you had a lot of fun letting yourself experiment and enjoy old loves.
Davina…well, you know how I feel about frogs. Wonderful series of posts recently. Haven’t commented recently and thought I’d let you know I’m still around and enjoying your reflections.
.-= simply stephen´s last blog ..Vegetable Garden Harvest Update =-.
Hi Davina,
I love both the frog and the landscape drawing. Both are well worth framing. Just add your signature and wha-la – masterpieces. As for me, I’ve never been about to draw, but did take a few painting classes- which I’ve never done much with.
Now, cooking and/or baking. That is something I do enjoy. From looking for a great recipe, to buying the ingredients, assembling it and then presenting it, I love the whole process. I find it to be quite therapeutic.
.-= Barbara Swafford´s last blog ..Blogging Etiquette – Write The Wrongs =-.
Hi Davina .. that frog is fantastic .. and your art is still there – just like an organ .. unused for a while – let it come back .. it is like your mother’s very very good.
re squash .. I learnt the trick .. don’t peel it – do it afterwards .. also some you can eat .. I roast butter nut with the rind on .. it’s fine .. and I boil some squash and scoop out the flesh .. – I’ve learnt don’t make work for yourself when you don’t need to!!
The meal sounded good, the art looked great .. have another go?
I’m looking forward to number 6 ..
Hilary Melton-Butcher
Positive Letters Inspirational Stories
.-= Hilary´s last blog ..Garnets, Tolkein, Silver and Gold …. =-.
Hi Daphne.
Ha, ha — thanks :-) That frog is a cutie. Probably what attracted me to drawing him.
Hi Patricia.
I’ll be on the next plane — more chicken noodle soup, please! :-) And pumpkin muffins too AND blackberry crisp. Your husband is one lucky man. You sure have strong willpower Patricia to pass up all that.
And Mac and Cheese… I have to admit that I quite enjoy it… the gluten-free of course. Costs an arm and a leg to buy so I don’t buy it often, but sure enjoy it when I do make it. I like to add canned tuna to it and sometimes green peas. Mix it all up, put it in a baking dish and grate cheddar cheese on top to brown in the oven. Very tasty!
Hi Dot.
You’re right, it was fun… even failing at it :-)
Hi Stephen.
Thanks for popping over :-) So glad you are enjoying. Cheers!
Hi Barbara.
I could get into painting if I could “make” the time. I find it very therapeutic once that darn inner critic shuts up. Cooking too, as you say, is therapeutic. And especially the baking; love the aroma that fills the room. I think that is when digestion starts… even before you take it out of the oven. :-) Guess baking season is coming upon you too, with Thanksgiving not too far.
Hi Hilary.
Thanks. You are right! I don’t know WHY I HAD to peel THIS squash! Well, I guess it added to the story though :-) Spaghetti squash is really good with roast lamb. Mmmmm.
I make mac and cheese with GF noodles and broccoli with potato crisps on top….It is time consuming but no one minds eating it all week…
Have you tried the new egg noodles GF at Gluten Free Pantry? They are made in Canada by an Italian company – very yummy
.-= patricia´s last blog ..Comfort =-.
Hi Patricia.
Ooooh potato crisps on top… that sounds wonderfully yummy! No, I haven’t tried the GF egg noodles at Gluten Free Pantry. I’ll have to look into that cause it would be a nice change from Amy’s brand.
I just logged on and checked my blog for the first time in days and found your comment. I had to click the link to check if it was ‘our’ Davina because I hadn’t seen the photo before! What a lovely treat to see you!! You’ll have to tell me how to make a gravatar – I have the photo ready.
I have no idea which of your planets have aligned recently, but your creativity is out of the park at the moment. I love the frog and the tree. Please keep going with this; I feel massive things are going to be happening for you in the months to come. I don’t know if you’ve felt it happening in your coaching sessions, but I can almost feel the energy shifts. I’m loving the holiday chronicles and now this. Thank you for sharing it all with us!
As for creativity, you’re a coach, so the synchronicity of this will tickle you. The ‘post’ I’m in the middle of uploading is of some art I did thirty years ago! I also spent the morning reading a book on creativity I’m about to review. I used to make a lot of the pesents I gave folk. I used to paint, sew and paint tapestries and arty cushions, do pottery and creative garden design as well as write songs and lyrics. My soul’s been rebelling recently and telling me it’s about time I got back to creativity fests instead of spending so many hours trying to design solutions for our smallish home. I also spend an inordinate amount of time wrestling my blogging demons.
As for the kitchen, my best creations are Greek feasts – plates and plates of basic homely food and tidbits that just keep coming. Baking?! My kids – and their friends – laugh at my efforts. I take my hat off to you; squash is hard – I give up in frustration with turnips, squashes and pumpkins! Red wine’s definitely the way to go!
.-= janice´s last blog ..101 Slightly Unpredictable Tips for Novelists and Screenwriters =-.
Davina, Davina, you continue to amaze me. :) LOVE your drawings! In fact, they remind me of the pencil sketches I used to do and makes me wish I could add a few more hours to my days. Sketching like this is on par with lounging with a paperback, maybe even better! I’ve only two of mine left, from a lifetime ago when I actually had lazy time, and, nuts, they aren’t even my favorites.
Funny you mentioned squash. The other night, I wasn’t having luck getting my spaghetti squash opened and was afraid I’d whack off a finger or something if I didn’t try a different method. So I used a sharp meat-carving knife to saw a small groove in the shell and then placed the too-dull Chinese cleaver there and pounded it in a ways with my hand. Then I picked up the cleaver, and the squash came with… And I bent over… And I whacked and whacked and whacked the squash against our concrete floor until the cleaver finally split it. That’s when my husband walked in (where had he been when I needed him?) and asked why I was panting.
@Patricia: Thanks for the pumpkin tip. I’d just been pondering what to do with mine. …once my knives are sharpened, of course.
.-= Julie´s last blog ..Honor Redux, with a Twist =-.
@ Davina,
The Gluten Free Pantry has a huge assortment of noodles and they do not weigh a great deal and EnerG in Seattle has some new great bagels – it is where I get my grains from… Opened up a whole new world of shopping for delights from my husband and kids.
@ Julie
Oh I hear your pain and floor whacking experience…some squash are just so hard – here’s another trick…poke a couple of fork holes into the squash skin and put it in the MW (if you use one) for about 2-3 minutes. The knife will cut easily through the outer shell – insides are still very firm…FYI
My friend Kay, cuts the top off a pumpkin – scoops out the seeds and then cooks her lentil stew in a slow oven inside…That is kind of yummy too!
.-= patricia´s last blog ..Comfort =-.
You have a knack for hunger-inducing descriptions of food. My pursuits in the kitchen are limited to wild rice and arroz con pollo (or arroz sin pollo for vegetarians) but maybe your culinary writings can help expand my horizons.
@Patricia, you’re a wealth of information. Thank you! :)
.-= Julie´s last blog ..Honor Redux, with a Twist =-.
Hi Janice.
Yep, it’s me. I’ve been using a new avatar on Twitter for a couple of months and finally got around to changing it on my blogging profile. I’d be happy to show you how to make your gravatar. I’ll email you and walk you through it.
Thank you for such wonderful feedback. I don’t recognize myself — these last few months something has changed and I like it, I like it! :-) Thank you for confirming that it’s not just me.
That is neat synchronicity about the post you’re working on. I have to chuckle about that. I can’t wait to see your art! I really admire artists and singers and musicians. There’s something special about channeling your energy in that way — to be born with such gifts and not use them is sad. I think it’s about appreciating your passion and actually using it. That goes for cooks too. You can invite me over any day for Greek food!
Hi Julie.
:-) Thank you! I know exactly what you mean about sketching being on par with lounging with a paperback. It’s very relaxing… that is when you’re not worried about the end result that is — heh, heh. Your squash story made me laugh. I can’t visualize sweet, gentle Julie whacking a poor squash :-)
Hi Patricia.
I have actually heard of the Gluten Free Pantry, but don’t recall having bought any of their products. I buy a lot of Amy’s products and Glutino. In fact, Glutino has some pretty good English muffins and bread that I buy… more often in the winter though.
Hi Chris.
Well, stick around because there are more culinary descriptions to come… with PICTURES too! :-) Fasten your seat belt.
Hi Davina,
I really enjoyed your entry. You write beautifully! Lately I have had this strong desire to doodle, and integrate the things I have learned about joy into the doodles. I recently bought some copic markers and have played around here and there. Like you, I get a little frustrated that my art isn’t as beautiful on the page as it is in my imagination. But I find if I walk away from it, when I come back, I think it’s actually pretty good. And I’ve decided that it’s more important that I am expressing myself in this manner, because I can feel very strongly that something is trying to get out, or come to the surface or whatever, so if the doodles look like scribble scrabble, I’m okay with that! As for you, your sketches are both beautiful and completely zen-like. Way to go! Keep at it! Your dinner sounded fantastic, too!
.-= Jodi at Joy Discovered´s last blog ..My Happy Place, Your Happy Place =-.
Hi Davina .. I can taste the spaghetti squash now – and it’s breakfast time!
Love it .. lump of butter in the middle!
Thanks – Hilary Melton-Butcher
Positive Letters Inspirational Stories
.-= Hilary´s last blog ..Relocating – to Melbourne, to a Lily Pond, back just 156 feet ….? =-.
Hi Davina – I love the way you have floated from one thing to the next in this (in a good way) – so light and airy! Your beautiful second drawing reminds me of your theme for Loving Pulse – and the froggy is gorgeous. And can you go wrong with garlic and butter?
.-= Robin´s last blog ..Relaaaaaaaaaaax =-.
Wow Davina – I love your drawings. Squash can be a PITA but the taste is worth it. I used a saw on it once, when the knife wouldn’t work.
Did you just change your tagline, or am I late noticing? I like it.
Hi there Jodi.
Gee thanks! My pleasure to share. There’s something joyful about the word “doodle” isn’t there? :-) We are our worst enemy so it seems — I like how you’ve made it important to just be with the expression of your art rather than the ego’s expectations.
Hi Hilary.
Mmmm, butter makes everything better! What were they thinking when they invented margarine? Ew!
Hi Robin.
Yes I do tend to be a little bit of airy fairy! :-) You know, you’re right — that sketch does have the same flavour as the Loving Pulse theme. Too bad I wasn’t embodying a loving pulse when I was “trying” to draw it – ha, ha.
Hi Cath.
Yes, I changed the tagline in August (if my memory serves correctly). I think I’m slowly closing the gap between me and who I am as a Life Coach. No matter how much studying a person can do, it takes “sensibility” to see what they have to offer and cultivate that.
LMAO… You sawed through a squash! Now I CAN see that – ha, ha, ha, ha :-)
Davina — I liked the picture. It looked like the tree was floating in the air. It is a very Zen picture!
Sadly, I do not cook. You’d have ask my partner, JC, about his creative pursuits. The best I can do is my own version of hamburger surprise, which fortunately my girls loved when they were kids:~)
.-= Sara´s last blog ..When You Need a Hug =-.
Hi Sara.
I envy you, finding a man who can cook more than hamburgers and fried eggs :-) My mom used to cook something I’d call hamburger surprise… and we all loved it too.
Comments on this entry are closed.
{ 1 trackback }