10. A Thyme You May Embrace

Chapter Ten: Imagine that

“It seemed like such an earthy, male thing — a man doing up his belt buckle; it was sexy and suggestive and made her mouth a little dry…. Heaven be praised if he didn’t bend down to search through [his toolbox]. His jeans pulled tight over his thighs in a way that made her give thanks to Levi Strauss…. The work gloves stuck out of one back pocket and looked like fingers waving at her. It was almost as if they were calling to her, ‘Look here…’”

I giggled loudly and then embarrassed, turned around to make sure nobody was standing behind me. I was sitting on a log at the beach, reading a romance novel called That Summer Place. Hadn’t read one in years and though I knew I wouldn’t have time to finish this one, I was enjoying reading the “good parts.”

My last day at Island Thyme Bed & Breakfast had been a quiet one and after the previous day’s hiking adventure on Mount Gardner I was happy to rest tired muscles.

Every step down the stairs to the beach that evening was painful. I had picked my way carefully over the wet gravelly beach, looking for a log that was dry enough to sit on to watch the sunset. I felt like Goldilocks looking for a bed that was just right.

Waves lapped against the shore and the cool breeze was light on my face. The air was fresh. Mountains posed in the ebbing sunlight, showing off an array of shadowy crevices.

I watched a blue heron land on a rock beside the boat directly across from me. He eventually climbed aboard and I couldn’t see him anymore; never saw him fly off either.

The day was fading quickly and I put the book down to watch the sun sink lower, staring as it perched just above the horizon. It was poised before making the final descent and I imagined that if I stared at it long enough it would stay up longer.

In a matter of minutes the sun had disappeared completely, leaving the sky awash with orange and yellow streaks. I couldn’t deny time was passing and didn’t stay long at the beach — too long would have only made leaving harder.

Savour that

Dinner was decadent. I found some lemon pepper seasoning that added delicious flavour to the lamb and roast potatoes. Red pepper and garlic was roasted in the same pan with the lamb and the garlic caramelized. It was so good! I sipped the rest of the red wine and savoured each bite of food, drawing out dinner as long as I could. Still, time passed on.

I refused to waste time packing that night. I knew my resistance to leaving would only draw it out longer than necessary. Better to wait to the last minute and get it over with faster in the morning.

I took a cup of coffee out to the deck to star gaze, wearing a comfy terry cloth robe I’d found hanging in the closet. I felt sensual wearing the robe — comfortable with feeling sensual.

It was a calm, warm night and I lingered in the dark staring up at the glittering sky, listening to the crickets singing. A neighbour was playing the piano. The notes echoed through the night, adding to the pleasantry of the evening.

I hoped I’d see a shooting star. That sudden streak of light cutting a path across the indigo sky had always excited me. But after a while my neck got sore from watching and waiting.

My thoughts turned to memories of difficult times — days that had at the time, seemed never-ending — like being caught in a web. But at this moment, all the heartbreak, fear, self-doubt, and personal loss didn’t matter. It had no hold on me. I was overcome with the most intense appreciation for being alive; felt a sense of connection with “something” that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

Sometimes I think things are better left as a mystery; left to unfold of their own accord; like the last five days had. I was overwhelmed with emotion and I felt like I “needed” to cry. But I couldn’t cry. There was nothing to release and nothing to hold on to.

Tomorrow I would say goodbye to Rachael the spider. She’d sat pretty much motionless in her web these last few days, but her presence had commanded my attention. I’d been compelled to just stand and watch her, mystified by just how much notice I’d taken of her.

What did she represent? What did I choose to believe? That symbolically, we can weave a web that will serve us or enslave us. It’s neither good or bad; there is learning and growth with the passing of time.

“Spider encourages us to discard the heaviness in our lives. Take only what is yours, and leave behind the old forms and baggage. Take with you only the sweetest relationships, possessions, ideas, the rest belongs to the heavy world of yesterday. Cut free from your life the carcasses of the dead, the forms of your past heavy world, and leave room for the new world of love and light.”

An excerpt from an article by Ashley Costanzo and Janice VrMeer

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Tagged as: BC Bed and Breakfast, Bowen Island