Too young for romance
It’s midnight and I’m lying in bed staring at the shadows on the ceiling. My thoughts are loud and I can’t sleep.
I find myself thinking about past relationships; even my first crushes in public school. There was Eddy in grade 2, Michael in grade 3, Neil in grade 4 and David in grades 5 and 6. There were crushes in high school, but I’ll save that for another post… maybe.
All I’ll say about those years for now was that my first kiss was on a stairwell in grade 11 with a guy named John (that relationship lasted three weeks). My next boyfriend who was truthfully called Mr. Right (but was definitely Mr. Wrong), actually told me he wanted to go out with my sister. Brute!
The extent of my crush with Eddy in grade 2 happened while he was passing out papers. He stopped at my desk, reached towards me with the paper and smiled. I was hooked. I think that crush only lasted for the duration of that week.
Michael sat behind me in grade 3 and he liked to tease me by pulling at my long blond pigtails. Neil had a crush on a younger girl (he was in grade 4 and liked a girl in grade 2). He didn’t even know I existed. David? Well, I had to share that crush with my best friend. And we stayed best friends because neither of us ever had a chance with him.
The most romantic moment
It happened over 25 years ago and I remember it like it was yesterday. I received flowers from a secret admirer with a card that read: “Just a little something to light up your day like you light up mine.” (Remember that one guys — it’s a winner.)
Turned out he was the baker that worked midnights with me at a donut shop. Ours was the most romantic relationship I remember. On our first date he got in an accident. He was staring at me during conversation and drove through a stop sign — tee, hee. How romantic!
On our second date, we drove from North Bay to Toronto in one swoop to have a Chocolate Monkey at Mister Green Jeans in the Eaton Centre. We never made it. That was the first year the Toronto Blue Jays finished first in the American League (1985). We got caught in the traffic jam on Yonge Street and Mister Green Jeans was closed by the time we got there.
We dated for about three months until he broke up with me on New Year’s Eve. Great timing eh? Speaking of which, let me remind you that it’s not a great idea to date someone you work with.
The romantic future
Many years later, at the tender age of 45 I find myself single again after ending a five-year relationship. Single and wondering what’s next. Who knows?
I admit that I do get lonely sometimes, but I am also content with my life. I live in a beautiful city where I have some good friends. I have the luxury of having time to myself. I appreciate and am comfortable with who I am; for the most part. The growing never stops, but the growing pains become more manageable. A person learns to laugh at themselves.
I’d rather be happily single, than miserable in a relationship. I’ve considered how or where I might meet someone; join a club perhaps, or try online dating. None of this feels “right”.
I believe it will happen when it happens. While laying there at midnight, staring up at the shadows, I was content in believing that a person can try so hard to find a mate that they become obsessed with it. I imagined walking down the street in a cloud of feminine pheromones.
That’s when I miss Mr. Right; when I’m blinded by pheromones. Instead, I’m more likely to meet Mr. Karma and we engage in a roller-coaster romance. We work out karma that maybe we didn’t have to work out until 10 lifetimes from now.
Meanwhile, Mr. Right was just around the corner; minutes away, and our paths never crossed. I think I’d rather stop and smell the roses than be blinded by pheromones.
To sum it all up, people need to get out and mingle as themselves. Doing what they enjoy doing where they can be their authentic selves. Those are the pheromones that attract Mr. Right.
And now, it’s 1:30 a.m. and yes, I’m still single. But I think I’ll be able to make safe passage to dreamland now that this is out of my system.
Photo Credit: Mamjohd
patricia
Hilary
Tony Single
Linda
Barbara Swafford
Deb Dorchak
Chris Edgar
{ 44 comments }
Hi Davina – By now you’re sleeping, and hopefully dreaming a beautiful dream. What a great post. I think we all do a mental review like this one from time to time no matter whether we’re single or attached. You’ve got a healthy attitude, and you’re right about having a wonderful life. Still, it’s natural to want to share it.
In my own past, it was less “Mr. Right” than it was “Mr. Right Now.” LOL! I think you’re also correct that “Mr. Right” will show up when you’re not expecting him, and certainly when you’re not looking. Keep doing the things you love to do and you will encounter him, doing the same things that you love. Kismet!
“I’d rather be happily single, than miserable in a relationship.” That’s been my philosophy for nearly 20 years. :-D
.-= Dot´s last blog ..Comment on The World of Dotitude by Dot =-.
Wow, Davina… this was so beautifully written! I was completely sucked in right away and it was great to read about your experiences. Thanks for opening up and sharing this post with us!
.-= Positively Present´s last blog ..the benefits of having a grateful day =-.
I agree with getting out there and being yourself. The more people you are around the more you’ll get to know and chances will increase.
I love reading about your life and whoever gets to be a big part of it is damn lucky!
.-= Tess The Bold Life´s last blog ..20 Tips For Holidays That Rock =-.
I totally agree with you. especially what you said about being single and happy,,, You are so right!
.-= Daniel Brown´s last blog ..Cost Of Teeth Whitening =-.
Time to yourself? Quiet time? (John looks all around him) What’s that like?
I’ve got a 1.5 and 3 year old running circles around me while I blog LOL.
I feel you, though. All through high school and even college I never had a steady girlfriend, just a bunch of meaningless dates that never panned out. I honestly thought I’d be single for the rest of my life.
Then when I was 26 I tried something.
I went on a “coke” run and really got into those drinks – Cosmopolitans. I ended up moving out of the country to Yemin where I became a freedom fighter and to make money I handed out free movie tickets on the weekend at the local drive-in. It was there I met my future wife. The problem was she too was on coke too so we couldn’t really remember each other’s names for awhile.
…..ok ok, I’m just kidding. Your article had me feeling a little sad so I wanted to lighten it up some, I hope it worked :) Sure got me laughing. I was thinking of just ending it with the story hehe.
In reality, I was single until I was 26 and then I went on Match.com. From there I found my future wife, Lindsey, and we found love and now have two little rugrats. I suggest Match.com. It really did work for us. Just do it . . . why not? It can’t hurt.
.-= John Hoff – WP Blog Host´s last blog ..The Top 7 Mistakes eBook Authors Make! =-.
Hi Betsy.
It took me another good hour to fall asleep – arghh! :) You’re right, SHARING is where it’s at. Those days when a person is feeling full of energy and in a great mood, those are especially the days when having a huggable buddy around is missed. Then of course it’s good to have someone to lean on too when the occasion arises. Someone to cook brekkie for, someone to, to, to… :)
LOL… Mr. Right NOW, that’s hilarious! And there’s also Mr. Right On. Is there a Mr. Right Way?
Hi Dot.
And you are smiling too :) Single life does have it’s perks doesn’t it? Lots of em.
Hi Dani.
You’re welcome. It was fun to take a walk down memory lane. Surprising to remember the names of first crushes too. Eddy was a tall blond; taller than any guy in our class.
Hi Tess.
Awh thanks :) Yep, I’m here with lots to offer — shame for it to go to waste. It’s true that when a person stops trying so hard, they let more in without realizing it.
Hi Daniel.
LOL, Maybe if I had whiter teeth I’d be more visible to “him”. Though from what I understand, teeth are the last thing a guy notices when he meets a girl. Just sayin. :)
Hi John.
LOL I recall your video blooper with one of your children in the background. Wasn’t there a cat too? Darn, I WAS trying to be funny with the whole Mr. Karma deal :-) Sigh… Well, thanks for lightning things up — you succeeded in making me laugh.
“I honestly thought I’d be single for the rest of my life.” That’s how it feels sometimes and quite frankly, it’s starting to piss me off! I’ve had 3 long-term relationships and a sorta of a proposal (he was basically assuming I’d say yes and he mentioned if off-the-cuff in casual conversation). Boooo.
Congratulations to you for finding your mate :) Quite a few people have mentioned online dating to me; I’m on the fence where that is concerned. Though I’ve heard about lots of successful online meet-ups, yours being another.
Davina — As usual, this post is beautifully written. I laughed about the crushes and remembered my own. I honor your right to be single and happy, if that’s what you really want.
I must admit, however, that I do sense a longing for a relationship and, to be honest, I also sense that you’re being cautious…maybe too much.
I agree with you that it is good to mingle as yourself, doing what you enjoy, but I also believe you can choose to do this in places where your particular Mr. Right just might happen to hang out :~)
.-= Sara´s last blog ..Picture Story: A Park Bench =-.
I’m with John. I agree that you should never become obsessed with finding a partner – but I’m pretty sure that if it were me, I would give online dating a chance while being VERY selective.
By the way, I know a woman in her late fifties who met someone through online dating (not sure which site) and recently remarried. She refused to compromise, continued to lead a full and active life after her divorce, and is extremely happy now with her new husband.
.-= vered | blogger for hire´s last blog ..Crispy, Golden Potato Latkes =-.
Hi Sara.
LOL… well… I don’t really want to be single for the rest of my life AT ALL. Working at making the best of it (tongue-in-cheek).
Working from home I meet less people so yes, getting out and mingling is on the menu now more than before. Yoga class is probably not THE place — they were all women :) Going to join a hiking group; being out in nature is when I’m at my best. And if there is no one of interest there, I’m content to ooh and awe at the scenery and chat with other hikers.
Hi Vered.
“Refuse to compromise.” I’m liking the sound of that. This woman has a great attitude. Another advocate of online dating — gee whiz, what’s up with my resistance to that! Thanks for the recommendation though; I’m marinating with this idea.
Hi Davina .. yes – it can be tough being single, but also wonderful .. especially as when someone turns up we can have a relationship and enjoy their company .. it would be nice if then it turned into something else.
I somehow feel that those with children tend to meet new partners through their children and being out and about ..
I am always being told I’m far too independent – there’s not much one can do about that .. we have to be and we have to live on .. I just get on with things and deal with all challenges = that’s life.
Good luck to us .. to find someone – they are there as you say ..
Like you I’m marinating with the online dating scenario .. I also know people who’ve tried that route and are now happy ..
Hilary Melton-Butcher
Positive Letters Inspirational Stories
.-= Hilary´s last blog ..What is a Persian Palette…? Turquoise, Seagreen, Magenta … =-.
You never quite know where life will take you. But I think you are right that the best way to meet someone is to just do what you normally do. Love have a way of finding you when you least expect it.
.-= Chase March´s last blog ..Scary New Territory =-.
Davina, like Sara, I really felt your heart in this one. Your words were saying one thing and your heart was whispering in the background. My first impression when reading this was that perhaps the key to your dilemma is to really and truly become comfortable with being single. When you find a balance in your wanting and acceptance, that’s when “…when you least expect it” tends to occur. Really! You don’t even really have to put yourself in those circumstance where your “ideal match” is likely to frequent; you’ll find each other somehow. The cosmos arranges these things very nicely. ;)
If you want to give things a push, though, the online services do get results. My cousin tired of the traditional dating route and, after trying a couple different online services, ended up finding her second husband.
One caveat to the whole not settling issue: I believe it’d be awfully boring to find someone who meets ALL our wish list points. There’s a lot of excitement and growth in learning to understand and balance our differences. I told my husband I’d never known such adventures and “adventure” before marrying him! :)
.-= Julie´s last blog ..A Different Thanksgiving =-.
Hi Hilary.
I agree. It would be nice to have a “good friend” and be relaxed about the whole thing; just enjoy each other’s company. Getting out more is definitely the best idea. HEY… makes me think that online dating could be the catalyst. You never know… you could be out on a date with a “match” and meet someone else! :)
Hi Chase.
“Love has a way of finding you when you least expect it.” That’s the best kind of scenario. No chance to run either! :)
Hi Julie.
You’re right. I’m trying to convince myself that single is okay. It is not horrible, but I’m DONE with it I tell ya! Okay cosmos… start arranging! In this lifetime please! :)
I agree with you about finding someone who meets ALL our wish points. That would be boring. Growing together is what keeps the relationship fresh; sounds JUST like what you and your husband have. So it DOES exist! Hugs to you both… you are blessed.
When my mind starts going like that I don’t fall asleep at all.
While my experiences with online dating were more comical than romantic, I wouldn’t discount it. My best friend met her husband and love of her life online.
Sometimes I get lonely too and working at home doesn’t help. I’ve always been a bit of a loner and am finding it hard to “get out there”. I feel sometimes like I don’t know how to meet people anymore. That it’s easier when you’re younger.
Beautiful post …
.-= Kim Woodbridge´s last blog ..Squash, Squash, and More Squash =-.
Hi Kim.
I understand the “bit of a loner” very well. Meeting new people is not always easy — been there. Some people are better with the written word than the spoken one and that’s just the way it is. With so much available to us online, I can see how we get out of practice “being with people”.
I mentioned in my reply to Hilary that online dating could be a way to get out, even if you don’t end up being with the person you are matched with. At least its practice getting out and connecting with people. You might have a chance meeting in that regard. Who knows?
Thanks for bringing my attention to your post about online dating. It was a great read :-) I see where you’re coming from re the romance vs comical. I’m sharing the link here:
http://www.kimwoodbridge.com/10-things-ive-learned-during-my-adventures-in-anti-social-dating/
Hi Davina .. have a good Thanksgiving …
.-= Hilary´s last blog ..Witches, Hazels and helmets … =-.
Mr. Right is worth the wait, and the letting go of such an idea because — like finding happiness — it’s not a methodical hunt, rather an exploration.
.-= Lori Hoeck´s last blog ..The power of just not being there in self defense =-.
Thanks for this Davina — I’ve appreciated the vulnerability of your posts recently and, like others have said, your writing.
Hi Davina – I was liking that baker until he dumped you on New Years Eve – the tosser.
But I’m glad you’re going to wait for Mr Right instead of being blinded by those pheremones. Bad relationships really can screw up the rest of your life – I know, I was in one for years. And I kept putting off what I wanted to do, so he could have his own way all the time. According to the BBC personality test – it’s because I’m too agreeable, so I guess I need to unlearn that.
Now – I have another worry – my kids throwing their lives away on the wrong person. I really hope they’ll be like you and have the sense to wait.
.-= Cath Lawson´s last blog ..5 Reasons Why You’re Not Happy =-.
Hi Hilary.
I celebrated Thanksgiving in October — I hope your celebration is fantastic! :)
Hi Lori.
Nicely put… Finding happiness is not a methodical hunt, rather an exploration. Love it! Thanks.
Hi Chris.
You’re welcome… and thanks :-)
Hi Cath.
And… he broke up with me after the party. We had a wonderful New Year’s Kiss at the stroke of midnight. I was caught completely off guard. Oh well.
It’s hard isn’t it, when you are in a relationship that is not really serving your best interests anymore. In a way the two of you were enabling each other’s “weaknesses” — interesting eh? I don’t have children and I often wonder what that would be like… letting go of them as they grow up; trying to support them but not interfering in their experience. All you can do is trust their process (easy for me to say, I know.)
“I’d rather be happily single, than miserable in a relationship. ” I couldn’t agree more.
In my experience, when you are single and “growing in age” :-0) some people will try to fix you up with everyone they know! Sometimes, they pressure so much that you actually feel that you “should” be in a relationship even if you are not with the “right” person.
Anyways, through it all I always remember my values, standards and what I believe in.
.-= Persha -DumpedDays´s last blog ..Regret Breaking up? Dealing With Feelings Of Regret After A Break Up =-.
Hi Davina, I love the honesty in your writing. This is my second visit after meeting you on Twitter.
Your post reminded me of one of my resume clients this week, a young man who had just ended a relationship. It was so obvious that he cared about the young woman, her unaddressed baggage though was more than he was ready for in a permanent relationship. He was smart, articulate, good looking, and incredibly honest. He talked about all the divorces he sees and all the pain in so many people’s lives.
I told him I had no answers but I think moving slow is a good thing. Too many relationships begin out of either euphoria or fear of being alone. I think good things can happen from many places if you take the time to let it happen. I am sure that for you, if you continue being reflective, you will know when it is the right person and the right time.
.-= Julie Walraven´s last blog ..Postcards from the Road (a reminder) =-.
I certainly would wish that this world is perfect to have “Mr. Right.” But the truth is true love requires defying who we are, make some sacrifices and enduring misfortune. As the old saying goes–the price of love is pain. :-)
.-= Walter´s last blog ..Nobody wants to listen =-.
Another beautiful post, Davina. Someday, if it’s in your stars and you want it, some guy is going to feel truly blessed to have you in his life; we all cherish you in ours.
Happy Thanksgiving!
.-= janice´s last blog ..Up, Down and Grateful =-.
Hi Persha.
Excellent advice re remembering your values — thank you. LOL, I guess your friends mean well, but some people just can’t understand how a person can be comfortable being single. I’ve had friends that had to find another partner right after a breakup because they didn’t want to be alone.
Hi Julie.
Nice to see you again :-) The thing with relationships is there is no secret recipe is there? It happens when it happens, we let it or we resist, we force or we become complacent, we dream or become bitter, etc. I tend to believe that the relationships that develop over time are more successful than the whirlwind romances.
Hi Walter.
I believe Mr. Rights exist, but not Mr. Perfect :) I appreciate your comment; though I don’t believe love defies who we are (perhaps I’ve misunderstood you?). I do understand that love shows us more of who we are in the sense that we grow to experience and see new sides of ourselves.
Hi Janice.
Awh… what a nice thing to say *big grin here* — thank you! Now you’ve made me want it MORE! :-) Hope you have a great Thanksgiving.
Why did I not know we are the exact same age?? 1964?? There was more in ’64, that’s for shore!
I think you WILL be absolutely blinded by roses when you least expect it.
And that Neill, complete cad! Bet when he was 44 he married an 18-year-old. :)
You are such a beautifully gifted writer. Thanks for sharing your soul’s journey.
But hey, where’s my Chocolate Monkey??
.-= Jannie Dumster´s last blog ..Soul Impressions Of Dr. Liara M. Covert’s “Self Disclosure — Changes From Within” =-.
Lovely writing Davina,
And I will just say the last 22 weddings I have officiated have all been connections made with Match.com, including a nurse friend who is 67 and just met a delightful fellow from your city…..after 30 years of single parenting and being on her own…
I wish my Oldest would at least have a relationship….she is getting so closed down and after a week of working here with her, I can not imagine why someone does not attempt to break through, because she is gorgeous and brilliant and everyone deserves some one besides parents and family to love them….She definitely turns heads every place we went and the 2 “gay” blades from UK sitting next to us last night at dinner had a delightful conversation with her….they are not afraid!
Stay selective, but don’t give up….
I just hate those all nighters….though I have to admit I do get some of my best writing energies when not distracted…
Sending you a hug…such fine people have different missions in life…look at Frances in Under the Tuscan Sun….inspiring
.-= Patricia´s last blog ..Harvest Potluck UNICEF Fundraiser =-.
Davina,
I’m in awe at your honesty and willingness to be vulnerable and bare your feelings. You have such courage and that’s beautiful. I read every word of your post AND the comments, and I don’t usually do that!
“I’d rather be happily single, than miserable in a relationship.” Like Dot and Persha, I’ve lived this philosophy for years. I’m going to email you because some of what I have to say I don’t want to say in public yet. So I’ll end this comment by saying that I just know a beautiful woman like you won’t be single for long! Relax and let life happen :)
.-= Daphne @ Joyful Days´s last blog ..Can You Pack Your Life Into Two Suitcases? =-.
Hi, Davina,
Our society is obsessed with “Mr. Right”
For me, the point is not to find a unique “Mr. Right” or “Ms. Right” who will make us happy ever after… The point is to cultivate the capability of experiencing happiness with ownselves, following our passions and values, sharing our best with the people that are around us.
When we are inthis condiiton we become happy, confident and charming. When we are in this state, we will attract people who think like us, people with similar interests and values…
Never go to a place to look for Mr. Right. Go to the place where your Heart wants to be and Happiness and Love will follow…
.-= Boris´s last blog ..The time that belongs to you =-.
Hi Jannie. Jannie Dumster… what next; Jannie Dumpster?
Ha, ha — ’64 was a good year :-) A lot of good quality peeps were born. Lol re your comment about Neil. He was cute too — dark, curly hair and a little shy. Those Chocolate Monkeys are sooo good. Worth driving from North Bay to Toronto for (I had one when I eventually moved to TO).
Note: Re the writing; thank you. Too bad the way to a man’s heart wasn’t through writing… Heh, heh.
Hi Patricia
Thank you. Maybe guys are intimidated by your daughter? I heard that on Two and a Half Men from Charlie :-) that the beautiful women are the loneliest because men are too chicken to approach them. Is your daughter looking for a relationship? Maybe she is even more brilliant than you think, by not getting involved…. (She is still a young lady.)
Sometimes I think women get all caught up in the whole romance thing (moi included), just as men like the hunt. When all that is satisfied, then what?
Hi Daphne.
I’m curious about your email now. Seems that there might be “something” here for you that held your attention so strongly. After chatting with a friend yesterday, I’m leaning more towards just enjoying my life right now and as you say, letting life happen.
Hi Boris.
I love your comment — brilliant! I just mentioned in my comment to Daphne that I’ve pretty much decided to sit back and enjoy my life JUST the way it is. You said, “Go to the place where your Heart wants to be and Happiness and Love will follow.” Looks like I’ll be hiking mountains in the very near future :-)
It’s 6:48 AM and I’m still single. I’m also freshly freed like you from a six year karmic adventure and I’m enjoying the vacuum right now. I’m sure I’ll get the itch soon again. Women are such wonderfully tempting creatures that I really find it hard to stop myself. I’ve always wanted to meet a gal who had done as much self-examination as I have. Romantic relationships are indeed challenging and something tells me that’s not likely to change. But like you said, “who knows?’
.-= Tom Volkar / Delightful Work´s last blog ..Wounds + Authentic Makeup = True Calling =-.
Hi Tom.
“Women are such wonderfully tempting creatures that I really find it hard to stop myself.” We know, LOL. Spring isn’t all that far away… beware of that itch. ;-)
I know what you mean about being with someone who has done their own self-examination — it’s like being able to play tennis with someone else who knows how to hit a ball.
Dear Davina, What a great article. I love the part about getting out and just REALLY being yourself and doing the things your LOVE doing. If I were single I wouldn’t even focus on “how” or “what” to do to get a man (LOL) :) I would just focus on being ME and doing what I could not live without doing. That has always been my approach and it’s always worked. Anything else just feels like I’ve strayed from myself, strayed from my own life-giving path.
BTW, great writing here.
Hugs,
Robin
.-= Robin Easton´s last blog ..Lifting the Lid on Age and Death =-.
This is an excellent post. I think fondly myself on past relationships and what I have to look forward to in the future.
I understand how you feel but with over 50% of marriages failing, it’s best to wait for the right one.
.-= Tom Baker´s last blog ..If I Knew You Were Coming… =-.
Hi there Robin.
Thanks; glad you enjoyed it. I know eh? It just makes so much sense — doesn’t have to be hard — save that for the actual relationship work :-)
Hi Tom.
Thank you. Writing this post has been more therapeutic than I’d imagined. Who’d have thought? We can learn a lot from past relationships can’t we? Especially being able to let go of the attachment to them.
Hi Davina,
I LOVE the title of this post. And then your story. It was so moving and honest. Who doesn’t love that about a person?
Speaking of the dating sites, we have good friends who met on eHarmony, married and just had their first baby.
I know you’re not too keen on online dating, but you never know. You could make a connection on Twitter (where you let your hair down) or via blogging. So many possibilities……
BTW: Have you ever gone on Facebook to try and find those old crushes?
.-= Barbara Swafford´s last blog ..The Battle Over Comments – Part 2 =-.
Hi Barbara.
Thanks. That’s so nice of you to say. Funny you should mention eHarmony. I had coffee with a friend over the weekend. She met someone a couple of months ago and is madly in love. I know it happens — how does a person take it all in stride? I mean… madly in love… that phrase kinda scares me :-) I don’t want THAT yet; just want to get to know someone and enjoy their company.
Facebook is a thought… though I don’t haven an account at the moment. Would love to find a Twitter/blogging buddy that I could actually meet up with. Most of the connections I have that are of any interest to me are too many miles away. C’est la vie.
Hey Davina,
I know what you’re saying.
It took me awhile to join Facebook, but I’m not very active on it. But, on Twitter you could start a” list” of Tweeps who live in your area. Ricardo of Ribeeze is often tweeting how he’s having a “tweetup” in his area (L.A.) Maybe you could start one, yeah?
You’ll have to keep us posted. :)
.-= Barbara Swafford´s last blog ..The Battle Over Comments – Part 2 =-.
Hi Barbara.
Hey, that’s a great idea about starting a list of Tweeps who live in my area. I love it! I’m gonna start one. Thank YOU!
Hey, where did Jannie Dumster (I mean Dumpster Diver,) go??????
.-= Jannie Funster´s last blog ..Getting To Know Him… Getting To Know All About A Wonderful Blogger. =-.
Hi Jannie.
Your Jannie Dumster comment is #29. It’s not showing up with your avatar for some reason. So don’t worry… it wasn’t “dumstered” :)
Comments on this entry are closed.
{ 2 trackbacks }