I looked high and low
A friend recently loaned me her bread-making machine to let me try it out. Less than two hours after making the loaf pictured above I had bought my own machine. That’s how impressed I was. That, and the fact that London Drugs happened to have a great sale on a Black & Decker All-In-One Automatic Breadmaker.
I hadn’t tasted fresh bread that didn’t taste like crumbly cardboard since starting the gluten-free diet over seven years ago. I ate three huge pieces of warm bread that was liberally spread with butter. Oh god, oh god, oh god it was delicious!
I made loaf number two in the new machine less than three days later. After washing and putting away the machine, I realized that the paddle was missing. I looked everywhere, and I mean everywhere.
After searching unsuccessfully through the cutlery drawer and the dish rack, I peered behind the fridge and stove with a flashlight. Still nothing. I felt like a dog looking for a crumb that he was sure he’d seen fall to the floor from the corner of his eye.
Grumbling to myself, on my hands and knees, I checked every corner of the kitchen and under the kitchen table. I even looked in the freezer and in the freshly washed coffee cups in the cupboard.
I was perplexed and becoming more frustrated. I mentally retraced my steps over the last few hours.
That led me to check the laundry of all places; I’d recently tossed a towel in there and thought just maybe this bread paddle had been caught in the towel. Nope.
I had made soup that afternoon and remembered the piles of Nappa cabbage that had littered the counter. Maybe, JUST maybe… the paddle had been scooped up with the cabbage. Seconds later I was stirring the soup, peering into the swirling mass of broth, shiitake mushrooms and veggies. Alas; it was just soup.
CSI – Crummy Situation Investigation
Maybe I’d watched too many episodes of CSI. At any rate, this was becoming a game. Despite my frustration I found myself laughing at all the crazy places I could think of to look. The more frustrated I got, the crazier and more ridiculous an idea I’d come up with — just to spite the situation.
The last place I looked was the garbage, half-heartedly. I mean, who really wants to spend time rooting through their garbage? I convinced myself the paddle wasn’t there. But after checking everywhere a second AND third time I stood in my kitchen at a loss.
Reluctantly, my focus returned to the garbage. Minutes later, there I was tenderly picking through piles of veggie clippings, coffee grounds, tea bags, papers, an empty yogurt container and a couple of egg shells — all dumped in my bathtub. Cleanup was a breeze — I’ll say that much.
After all this, I still had not found the missing paddle. It wasn’t until I was on the phone about to order another one, that a thought occurred to me.
Seconds later we were both chuckling. The paddle had been baked into the loaf of bread — it was hidden just out of view in the bottom of the loaf.
I think my story made the operator’s day. Maybe it made yours too? :-)
Hilary
Jannie Funster
Joy
Linda
Tony Single
vered
Patricia
Evita
J.D. Meier
Megan "JoyGirl!" ...
{ 30 comments }
Davina,
This story DID make my day! I’m smiling and laughing here! How funny…and who would have thought! And…it really does sound like you did look everywhere – wow! Thanks so much for the chuckle to start my day!
.-= Lance´s last blog ..Sunday Thought For The Day =-.
Hi Davina,
I also have a bread maker, and absolutely love it! What you’ve experience is quite normal. In fact, it’s printed in my machine user manual. Don’t feel too sorry about it :)
Hi Lance.
Exactly! Who’d have thought. This didn’t happen when I made the first loaf with my friend’s breadmaker so it was not something I’d consider happening. I was relieved and had a good laugh too. Glad to share that laugh with you :-)
Hi Miguel.
I “should” have read the manual. I’m bad when it comes to reading manuals. I’d prefer to just start pushing buttons and learning as I go. Sure learned didn’t I? I didn’t realize how handy these machines are. Like you, I absolutely love it!
Hi Davina, Never lost that particular item, don’t have a bread machine, but can certainly relate to the looked high and low for things… including the garbage. I seem to remember one Christmas when there was a missing gift certificate and I went through the trash in two different houses because I wasn’t sure when it got lost. It turned up in a bottom of a box… Oh, and there was the time on the river when I let someone else set up the prizes and forgot to tell her that there were 12 gas cards in there worth $25 each. When we were cleaning up, someone else tossed the garbage and fortunately looked in the bottom of that box, to find the cards. $300 of cards donated almost lost… the finder was given 2 of them… :-)
Take care, I love your writing!
.-= Julie Walraven´s last blog ..Clam Chowder — The Best! =-.
I’m laughing for the second time but I did laugh harder when you first mentioned this on twitter a couple of days ago. At that time, however, I did not realize that you had looked in SO many places before locating it in the bread.
I’m thinking of getting a breadmaker so now I know one to look for since you seem so pleased with yours.
.-= Kim Woodbridge´s last blog ..(Anti) Social Lists 11/29/09 =-.
Hi Julie.
Oooh boy, good thing someone saw those cards! I shudder at the thought of losing $300. It’s VERY dismaying when you’ve lost something and it appears to have disappeared into thin air. I can imagine the finder of those cards was pretty happy to receive two of them.
Hi Kim.
Making bread has become so easy now. The machine does all the kneading and takes care of the rise cycles. You pour the liquid ingredients in first, sprinkle the flour mixture on top, close the lid and hit the start button. The one I borrowed from my friend is a Kitchen Pro from Regal. It’s an older model though, so not sure if you’d be able to find it. BUT… IT didn’t play hide n seek with the paddle :-D
Funny…,
My most recent “lost” item was the owners manual for my camera. I only “found” it after I had printed it out AND purchased a how-to book on operating the camera. I don’t remember where it was, only that it was someplace I was sure I had already looked.
.-= Mike Goad´s last blog ..Balcony House and more =-.
Thank you so much for the laugh. I can’t believe you baked it into the bread. lol
Hi Davina,
We must be on the same wave length. I have been wanting a bread machine, but this past weekend decided to first make some home made bread and see how it “went over”. I used my mixer for the kneading part which saved tons of time and needless to say, the home made bread was a hit. In fact, that was my “dinner” tonight. Mmmmmm!
That’s too funny about the paddle being baked into your bread. I’m happy to hear you finally found it. :)
.-= Barbara Swafford´s last blog ..The Battle Over Comments – Part 2 =-.
Hi Mike.
“Someplace I was sure I had already looked” *nodding* Uh huh, I understand :-) I guess the silver lining here is that now you have two manuals in case you lose one again.
Hi Rose.
You’re welcome. It was the bread machine’s fault though :) The dough accumulated and baked under the paddle inside of the pan, hiding it from view. When I pulled the loaf out the paddle was already tucked cozily inside.
Hi Barbara.
Mmm… there’s nothing like homemade bread is there? Especially when it is still warm and the butter melts right into it :) Sigh. Glad to hear your bread was a hit. Good idea to use the mixer for the kneading. Making bread is relatively easy, but all these steps are time-consuming. I think you’d enjoy working with a bread machine. It is SO easy. And now you’ll know where to look for the paddle, lol.
LOL…………….My first thought as I started reading this story was, Did you look at the bottom of the bread? Years ago, I owned a bread maker and something similar happened.
I bet your next loaf of bread tastes even better knowing how hard you looked for the paddle. :)
.-= LisaNewton´s last blog ..How Photography has changed my Life =-.
Hehe I could have told you to look in the bread! Maybe now you can make my bread machine pita bread recipe? Not sure it will work with gluten-free flour though.
.-= vered | blogger for hire´s last blog ..Crispy, Golden Potato Latkes =-.
Davina — This is such a great story!! I laughed all through it, especially since I am prone to forgetfulness and often have to search for things. I once almost tore up my house trying to find my reading glasses and this was after losing four other pairs:~)
I also thought you were clever to dump the trash in your bathtub!! Having searched my trash before for things I’ve lost and knowing the mess I made…I will remember this!
All in all, I am ever so pleased you found the paddle…at least you didn’t bite into it. Thanks for this story…it did make my day:~)
.-= Sara´s last blog ..Picture Story: Picture Quotes =-.
Even though my bread machine does the same thing, I didn’t think of it until you got to the end of your story. LOL!
.-= Dot´s last blog ..Comment on Full Disclosure by vered | blogger for hire =-.
You could make Crummy Situation Investigation into a hilarious YouTube reality series and eventually get massive network syndication — the next episode would be trying to get into your car when they keys are locked in it using a coathanger, and so on.
Hi Lisa.
LOL, I was more worried that I’d have to wait for a new paddle to arrive in the mail before I could make another loaf of bread; more so than the $$$ to replace it. So you already knew eh? Where were you when I NEEDED you? :-)
Hi Vered.
And you too… where were you when I needed you? Did somebody say pita bread? I’d love to try that recipe. I’m gonna hunt you down for it if I can’t find it on your blog.
Hi Sara.
Too funny. Have you ever been looking for your glasses… only to find that you are WEARING them? Been there :) I was about one day and two slices away from finding that paddle. Luckily the knife would have found it before my teeth. That’s all I’d need… another hole in my head, heh, heh…
Hi Dot.
Pretty funny… yep! We’re such intelligent beings aren’t we? :)
Hi Chris.
I’m guessing that you’ve been there and done that huh? One of my Xs stopped for gas one time… forgot the hose was still in his tank and was about to drive away before he realized. And whattabout when you leave the keys in your door and spend hours looking under every cushion and in every drawer, pocket and corner of your place. Hide and Seek for adults… or Hide and Seek for Dummies… :)
Oh, Davina, you made me laugh! And I recognized what you were experiencing. :) My husband never ever ever EVER remembers where anything is. He always asks me, and I’m almost always able to say. But when it comes to my own things, I can make myself crazy. I try to keep everything in its place, putting it away as I go because otherwise I go insane trying to remember. However, I can not do this with my thoughts. I am the person wandering from room to room, retracing steps in an attempt to remember what it was that I was thinking, about to say or do or get… I make myself dizzy. If I don’t give out my phone number every once in awhile, I forget even that! But, Davina, I have never ever ever dumped my trash into the tub. ;)
.-= Julie´s last blog ..A Different Thanksgiving =-.
Hi Julie.
LOL, I’m sure I’ll have a chuckle about the trash the next time I take a bath! Have you ever had it happen where you put something in such a SAFE place that you forgot where that was? :-) I wonder if that’s where the saying “going nuts” came from — I’m visualizing squirrels burying nuts in so many places that they forget them altogether — ha, hah.
Hi Davina.. oh yes those searches are frustrating and it’s usually just in front of you .. but baking it – now there’s a first .. I’m sure the operator will dining out on your story throughout the Christmas season!
I’m not sure I’d put my trash in the bath though .. but everyone to their own!! The paddle was definitely important!!
Enjoy your crumbly, crummy buttery slabs, or slices over the coming few weeks .. sounds delicious .. good thing I’m over the pond!
Happy days – Hilary Melton-Butcher
Positive Letters Inspirational Stories
.-= Hilary´s last blog ..What Christmas memory comes back to you at the beginning of December? =-.
Davina,
OMG I’m LOL.
“The more frustrated I got, the crazier and more ridiculous an idea I’d come up with”
My husband would be beside himself with laughter if I read this to him. I would but I don’t think I could quit laughing to get the words out!
I was down on the floor and in the garbage with you looking!
And then when you put “Oh my god, oh my god as you write about the bread and butter I remembered you former post about not having a man.
LOL more…who needs it when you have bread and butter. Ha!
And the paddle in the bread…I just can’t stop laughing. I swear you have found your calling…it’s to write about your wonderful life so we can all keep laughing. More more Davina I want to read more!
In fact maybe a book of collected stories from others because we have all crawled around looking for something…you are a flippin comedian and I’d pay to see you live!
I hope your bringing your humor to the Grand Canyon hike!
.-= Tess The Bold Life´s last blog ..7 Steps for Climbing the Staircase to Joy =-.
Okay, admit — you put that in there to break some convict outta jail, the old baked in a loaf trick. Yeah, he’ll bust down his cell with a bread paddle. Plus, he’s innocent anyway. Framed, I tell ya! Framed!!!
Funny, upon reading your title only, I assumed you had lost either a canoe paddle or one to whap somebody’s errant buttocks.
I just LOVE your writing, Davina. You got a real real talent for stringing words and events together. Thank for sharing your talent with the world.
.-= Jannie Funster´s last blog ..Getting To Know Him… Getting To Know All About A Wonderful Blogger. =-.
Hi Hilary.
Frustrating IS an understatement! It’s like, “How many places could it be???” I took the loaf pan out of the machine, carried it to the rack on the table and then put the loaf pan back to be washed. Sheesh. I haven’t made another loaf since :) Still have some frozen gluten-free bread that I “must” use up.
Hi Tess.
Ha, hah! I’m loving that you’ve enjoyed this so much :-D It’s SO satisfying to make people laugh.
LOL, oh my god, oh my god & the man post — well we know where your mind is. Loved your tweet by the way — “A bread and butter mouthgasm and a lost paddle” — hilarious! And, thank you.
Hi Jannie.
Oh quit loafing about in my comment section! :) “Errant buttocks!” — OMG. Where do you come up with these words?! (Had to Google errant BTW.) Thank you for being there to share this talent. It wouldn’t be the same without you Funster Girl.
Oh this was a great tale of fun and worry…thank you. I have 2 bread machines for over 20 years now…and my oh my I have forgotten about the paddle in the bread at least a dozen times now…I lost the recipe book for the wheat machine and the GF machine is looking mightly old.
Vered’s Pita bread makes fabulously with Seattle’s EnerG Gourmet Blend flour….I have made it about half a dozen times now with various flours and wow do we like this one the best…they are fluffy and light as Vered has pictured. Also this flour makes great peanut butter cookies – not grainy…Tom can order off line because he has the gluten problem, but EnerG is mostly a mill selling to others…..Tom loves their donut holes, frozen pizza dough, I like the GlutenFree Panty’s bread mixes better than EnerG.. This could be a whole post?
Sure beats when we started out and I had to invent and create and just hope it worked out…
I am still chuckling
.-= patricia´s last blog ..Tripping and Reading the Light Fantastic =-.
LMAO Davina – I’m glad you found it. I can’t believe you tipped your garbage into the bath though.
So are you making gluten free stuff in the breadmaker or normal bread? I tried gluten free when detoxing and it was gross.
Hi Cath.
I was glad too — ordering another one would have been over $20 plus taxes and shipping. The tub cleanup was so easy! I didn’t have newspapers so that was my other alternative. If there’s ever a next time, it’s going in the tub again :-)
I’m making gluten-free bread in the machine. Found some excellent recipes I can share if you like. I haven’t been doing a lot of baking for the reason you’ve mentioned — the homemade gluten-free WAS gross.
Hi Patricia.
I got Vered’s pita bread recipe from her blog yesterday. Thanks for sharing how great they turned out. Even more incentive to try. You’re right; gluten-free has come a long way and you COULD do a whole post about this. I’ll have to see where I can buy the EnerG flour because the graininess is what I dislike the most about baking gluten-free.
Vered’s Pita recipe is number 1 or 2 in the ecookbook too…with a link to all the pictures.
I find the EnerG Gourmet Blend so smooth and easy to work with it is worth the postage to order on line …it ships from Seattle….Also I get it off my income taxes as a medical necessity…don’t know if that applies to you or not… I know my cousin’s hospital health store carries it in Toronto…she just pays a co-pay…
I should just have you put in some orders and have them shipped to me and I drive them up….save lots of wear and tear and make for a pleasant cup of tea!
.-= patricia´s last blog ..Tripping and Reading the Light Fantastic =-.
Hi Patricia.
I do have the option of using gluten-free purchases as a tax deduction. Since I’m only buying for myself however, it’s more trouble than it’s worth. I’d have to accumulate quite a grocery bill for it to be worth my while.
That’s awfully nice of you to offer to drive me up some flour. I do have a recipe to make gluten-free flour by combining various other flours. Let me give that a try first to see how it works. If it works, we can still have tea… I’ll make the biscuits. :)
I will get them off you next time I detox Davina – thanks. That is when I usually have gluten free. It won’t be for a while though – the detox stuff is incompatible with the meds I’m taking.
.-= Cath Lawson´s last blog ..Does Social Networking Improve Your Business & Your Brain? =-.
Hi Cath.
There’s just something SO wrong with the word detox. :) Just let me know when you are ready and I’ll send the recipes off to you.
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