December Poetry Challenge
Is it still December? :-D …
When I’m 80 I’ll eat a chocolate bar every day.
I’ll take my time unwrapping it,
rustling the paper slowly and carefully,
to make doggies drool and little kids scream
“I want one” to their mothers.
When I’m introduced to someone new,
I’ll forget their name on purpose.
Then, when I introduce them to someone else,
I’ll use a different name and ignore them
when they try to correct me.
I’ll sit stroking my siamese cat named Sheba,
the queen of the castle; both of us spoiled,
in the lap of luxury, waited on hand and foot.
Till my head jerks me forward from my nap,
and I see I’m stroking my own lap again.
I’ll tell the same story repeatedly,
feigning forgetfulness and enthusiasm;
watching the listener squirm with impatience.
If they remind me I’m repeating myself,
I’ll keep talking, feigning a hearing impairment.
I’ll stare at people over the rims of my glasses.
I’ll stare at chatterbox women, eavesdropping.
I’ll stare at people in restaurants while they eat.
I’ll stare at men’s crotches.
Oh what the heck, why wait til I’m 80…
Now… where did I put those chocolate bars?
Photo credit: “T”eresa
I love seniors. Don’t they do the darndest things?
Barb Hartsook
Jim
John Hoff - WP Bl...
Barbara Swafford
Dot
Janice | Sharing ...
Tess The Bold Life
Ben
Hilary
patricia
{ 16 comments }
Maybe I’m being too hard on myself…. but I think this is absolutely the WORST poem I’ve ever written. Didn’t think it was all that bad when I first published it. What IS it about after you hit the publish button? Well, at any rate, here it is. Tear it apart, critique it… REWRITE it even! I’m inviting you. :-)
You capture a lot of the moments and essence of old age, but I feel there is a lack of sympathy for the character.
Lori Hoeck´s last blog ..Positions of authority make narcissist’s life easy
Hi Lori.
Thank you for your honesty. Oh, you should have seen some of the verses I deleted :-) You’re right… there is no sympathy here. It was a weak attempt at humour, and accentuating nastiness (not out of disrespect), but based on observations I’ve made. It’s that whole loving to be nasty scenario; when my grandmother was being mischievous and devious… I think I failed.
Hi Davina — one thing I get about this poem is that the character is, in a way, expressing mischievious desires we all have from time to time, and we could take it to mean that we don’t need to wait to bring a little mischief, and fun for ourselves and maybe even others, into our lives.
You got the character of elderly people, most act this way.
They realize they don’t have much time left, so they enjoy themselves.
Most old people don’t want sympathy and like to use their age to thier advantage while having fun.
So you think this is your worst poem. So what! One of them had to be, just like one will be your best. Your other five peoms are great. There are not a lot of people in this world that can write consistently good as you do. Don’t beat yourself up over one peom.
Hi Chris.
Exactly! You hit it right on. Yayyy. :-)
Hi Jim.
Thanks. I’m not too worried about this anymore. It’s refreshing to let it all hang out — sometimes you’ve just got to laugh. Can’t win em all… and that is okay.
Davina…way to go you are back on track with the poems. See I knew you would do it. Oh, and I’m impressed, whether you like your poem or not you expressed yourself and used the word “crotchety” – not everyone could do that!
simply stephen´s last blog ..climate change is up to you – climate change conference 2009
Davina,
This is fun and mischievous in it’s own words – my mum was so in control right through 94….and a broken back. She did not tell stories of her family or growing up…she tried to remember all the addresses and phone numbers where she lived – a huge list. My parents moved 22 times between when I turned 16 and 26….my father was job hunting most of that time…
I like the whimsy of this….just surface feel…it will get deeper with age?
patricia´s last blog ..Book Review: Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet ~Jamie Ford
Hi Davina – This one reminded me of my mother’s best friend’s mother who said, “I’m 80 and I can say and do whatever I want.” LOL I say, “I’m 55 and I can say or do whatever I want.” :)
Betsy Wuebker´s last blog ..Soothing Scrubs – A Great Gift to Make or Keep for Yourself
Hi Stephen.
Crotchety is a good word :-D I appreciate the cheering on. Thanks.
Hi Patricia.
Holy cow, you moved 22 times in those years! How DID you manage to keep up with remembering addresses and phone numbers? I have enough trouble remembering mine and I’ve had the same one for years. Thanks for humouring me… :)
Hi Betsy.
I got the idea for this from this poem: When I’m an old woman I shall wear purple http://www.netmender.net/glenna/Purple.htm
You’ve got a good head start — Ha hah… nothing can stop you now!
You’re saucy Davina,
First on Twitter and now on your blog. I love it!
P.S. I also like the “When I’m Old…purple” poem. :)
Barbara Swafford´s last blog ..Requesting Two Minutes Of Your Time
Hi Davina .. I too was thinking of the purple poem .. and the feeling of ‘to hell with it’ – you’re only old once .. and possibly not for very long .. so as you say enjoy.
I loved the picture .. great one! Seniors .. our parents, grandparents, great aunts and uncles, all elderly will, as small children do, say the most incredible things – my Ma still does and we laugh. Love it.
Well done to you for keeping going – Hilary Melton-Butcher
Positive Lettes Inspirational Stories
Hilary´s last blog ..Cricket Ball Squash, Santa Claus, Italy and us …
Davina,
This is great! Now please pass the chocolate;)
Tess The Bold Life´s last blog ..50 Ways to Simplify Gift Giving This Holiday Season
Hi Barbara.
I get it from my grandmother. She used to make jokes about male ballerinas ;-D Twitter…? Whatever are you talking about, lol.
Hi Hilary.
Thanks. It was hard to find the right picture. This one was a little too “cutesy” for what I was looking for, but I didn’t want to use a picture of a real person out of respect.
Hi Tess.
Noooo, get your own! :-D Mmmm chocolate…
…you just described what I’m like NOW! ;)
janice´s last blog ..Angels at my Table
Oh oh… caught ya! :-) Pass the chocolate please!
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