When calling the Muse
Okay, so I’m attempting some humour here, so bear with me. ;-)
The following are possible messages you might hear when calling your Muse and getting their answering machine. This Muse definitely has an attitude.
“Hello. This is your Muse speaking…”
- Hello? Is anybody there? Hello? Figures.
- Thank you for calling 1-800-BLOCKED. Please repeat after me. Please repeat after me. Please repeat after me….
- Try not to leave a message. I’m really not listening.
- Thank you for calling. I look forward to your next call. *snicker*
- Do you have ANY idea what time it is?
- Dial 1 for Nirvana. 2 for Nirvana. 3 for Nirvana. Wait… Damn… lemme start again. Dial 1 for Nirvana…
- Welcome to the Inspiration Hotline. Please wait for the beep before commencing heavy breathing.
- Thank you for calling. I am currently on another line. And another line. And another, and another. Please read between them patiently.
- Leave a message at the tone of your voice.
- Please have your VISA or MasterCard ready. I’m more than happy to give you all the credit.
- This call will be recorded. Did you realize that? Go ahead, leave your message.
- Got a post-it? Leave a message and I’ll tell you where to stick it.
- Don’t call me. iPhone you.
- Thank you for calling Nirvana Neverland, where never MEANS never. Now, goodbye.
Dontcha just love getting recorded messages instead of real people?
What can you add to this list?
Photo Credit: Horia Varlan
patricia
Hilary
Tony Single
Linda
Barbara Swafford
Deb Dorchak
Chris Edgar
{ 25 comments }
That’s a cute phone, but I think I prefer the Magic 8 Ball as my muse. Ask again later… ;-)
I guess recorded message is part of why I like to make appointments for doctors, dentists, car repair, etc. in person.
.-= Mike Goad´s last blog ..Posting a year in advance! =-.
Davina! Your Muse is SASSY! And I LIKE it!
I think she’d get along great with my Me (the “me” with a Capital “M”). They both seem to like wearing sassy pants! :)
.-= Chania Girl´s last blog ..Passion and Glory =-.
Hi Dot.
It is a cute phone, isn’t it? I like how there are no numbers on the buttons. As if to say, “Don’t call me, I’ll call you.” :-)
Hi Mike.
Me too! I remember the good old days when we’d only have to get through one recording. These days you can get bounced around to 3 or 4 different operators now. Argh :)
Hi Chania Girl.
“Gimme five, sista!” :-)
Ha Ha, Davina! Very good. I immediately thought of Lily Tomlin as Ernestine the telephone operator. Remember her? One ringy-dingy, two ringy-dingy. Fast forward to present day, and I can imagine her recorded voice saying to me, “Look it up yourself, I’ve got better things to do!” These muses do have their way with us, don’t they?
.-= Patty – Why Not Start Now?´s last blog ..Meaning Mondays: Creative Chick Meets Warrior Woman Edition =-.
These are all very funny. Number nine will probably end up on my answering machine.
Here’s one, when you answer your phone in person.
” We are out at this time; please leave a detailed message after the click”
Davina — What fun!!! I loved all of our yours and I think Jim is right, some of may end on answering machines.
Here’s my suggestion for the message from Izzy, my muse:
BEEP….Izzy has stepped out nd no one knows when she will be back. You can leave a message, but she will only get when it’s time for her to get it and not before. It’s your choice:~)
.-= Sara´s last blog ..Story Photo: The Dragonfly =-.
I like your sense of humor. :)
.-= vered | blogger for hire´s last blog ..Do You Believe That “Retail Is For Suckers?” =-.
Hi Davina!
LOL These are great! Gotta love those automated phone lines, right?
.-= Keith´s last blog ..DON’T DODGE THE DETOUR! =-.
What fun!
Think mine would say…Beep….Look, I know you are trying to call me; you could leave a message but the thing is that when I want to speak with you *I* will call on *you*…until then, clear your mind, clear your space, clear your paper…because when I call you I expect you to be alert and ready to listen….day or night, be ready…”
.-= Joy´s last blog ..Wisdom Wednesday: Your Wisdom…a video =-.
Hi Patty.
LOL, I just watched a skit with Ernestine the telephone operator. She’s a hoot :) Yeah… “Look it up yourself, I’ve got better things to do!” — Like write a blog post, or something, hehehe.
Hi Jim.
That’s a mean one! Meaner than these. Don’t think I can top it.
Hi Sara.
I kinda like #9 too. Lol, Izzy is a tough character too. What IS it with these nasty muses. Have we pushed them too far? :-D
Hi Vered.
I’m glad. :-)
Hi Keith.
Oh yeah? No… you don’t gotta love those automated phone lines! :-D
Hi Joy.
You poor thing… yours sounds like a drill sergeant! — “I don’t know, but I’ve been told…” :-)
*smiles* Davina,
You did great with this.
Just today I called a business and got, “You’re expected wait time is eight minutes”. Unfortunately with our muse, we never know how long we’ll have to wait. :)
.-= Barbara Swafford´s last blog ..Blog Badges – Beneficial Or A Waste Of Space? =-.
Awww man, I’ve just written about my Muse in the latest post, but yours is way FUNNIER! I love it! Let’s see… what would be a good recorded message?
“Hello.”
Long pause as caller starts to talk. Then…
“Bored now. Hanging up now.”
Click.
Hi Barbara.
Hehe, thanks. That’s true, you can’t push the Muse. I was just thinking that it would be great to have her on a schedule, but then again… that would be boring to be so predictable.
Hi Tony.
I’m glad you got a kick out of these. Now I’m laughing at your message. Gee, I wonder if anybody has a really NICE Muse? :-D
You are so freaking hilarious, Davina!! Funny, witty, wry and just plain nutty all at once! Are you Canadian, or something? :) Or were one of those “secret writers” for Monty Python??
And how ’bout “Your call is very important to me. Please…” click, scratching, dial tone. :)
.-= Jannie Funster´s last blog ..Let’s Drink Up The Stars (lyrics draft) =-.
oh yeah — switching to new default e-mail addy, thus the moderation.
xo
.-= Jannie Funster´s last blog ..Let’s Drink Up The Stars (lyrics draft) =-.
Hi D.
By the time I got to the sticky note I was LOL! You’re hilarious and it’s all so true;)
.-= Tess The Bold Life´s last blog ..An Argument for Optimism =-.
What a hoot! Thank you Davina….My muse is running fast and furious right now, but my energy is so low I can not get it all down…so have a tablet where I write ideas down…..
Here’s one for you:
Hello, Patricia here (very long pause and the caller starts talking) I am actually not available to listen to you right now please leave your name and number and I WILL get back to YOU.
Several of my daughter’s friends use that one….then they never call back…
Thank you for the good humor this morning…I needed that YAWN…I think it even raised my Blood Pressure to living mode
.-= patricia´s last blog ..Book Review: The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay ~ Michael Chabon =-.
Hi Jannie.
Hah! Thanks :-) Yes, I’m Canadian…eh? I love Monty Python. Nice message there… lol, I get the feeling that nice JUST isn’t funny! Am I right?
I moderately wondered why you’d been moderated. Now I know – hehehe.
Hi Tess.
I’m glad you were LOLing. Satisfaction! :-)
Hi Patricia.
You’re welcome. I’m happy to be of service. Lol… I like your message too; honestly is the best policy when you’re being the muse. Sounds like you’re well prepared for that flow of ideas. Have you ever had a good idea and a piece of paper, but can’t find a pen? Now THAT is frustrating.
Hi Davina .. love that – the telephone clashes violently with Shades of Crimson though .. need a better colour fit?!
I hate hanging around on phones .. if people don’t speak to me straight away .. the phone gets put down .. can’t be bothered ..
Love your messages – but if my head’s not straight & I phone a friend with a funny message I often get taken in .. oh oh ..
Don’t call me .. I’ll call you .. bye for now .. have a great weekend .. Hilary
.-= Hilary´s last blog ..Dumbarton and Corgarff Castles =-.
Hi Davina .. I think you’d better get everyone to read this post – you will die laughing .. I still do .. I had to find it ..
http://stephentremp.blogspot.com/2010/03/86-year-old-ladys-letter-to-bank.html
Stephen writes and is at the present re publishing via kindle et al .. his book ..
I know you’ll enjoy – perhaps you can reprint it? … have fun .. Hilary
.-= Hilary´s last blog ..Dumbarton and Corgarff Castles =-.
This was so much fun (as were the comments). I think the message I would receive would be – “Please hold” to be followed by music or “you may hear a series of clicks as we transfer your call…” (and who knows where I will be transferred too)
(I have been telling my muse “please hold” for a while now so turn about is likely to be seen as fair play!)
Hi Hilary.
I know… that phone is pretty wild! You know what’s funny is that the worst phone/message experiences are with the government and telecommunications providers. What’s up with that? Geez. Thanks for that link to that 86-year-old lady’s letter to the bank — was a good read. I shared it on Twitter. :-)
Hi Exception.
There’s a lot of juice in this comment section… nasty stuff! I’ve been on hold for some calls and the music is SO loud I have to hold the phone away from my ear, lol. I hope you and your Muse have a series of ‘clicks’ :-)
OMG, Davina, I can’t stop laughing! Everyone here is SO witty! I swear, if you and Tess and I do get together for that hike, we’re gonna be holding our sides and pinning our knees together; you’ll be the instigator and we’ll egg you on! Whew!… Okay, my muse… My muse is like a patient Wise One, just waiting for me, waiting for me, waiting for me… I can’t imagine her ever giving me the brushoff, and I know—I know I know I know—it’s all my fault when inspiration fades to nothing. So, there’s only on-my-knees gratitude from me to her when I finally decide to behave, again. ;)
.-= Julie´s last blog ..Bright Moments =-.
Hi Julie.
Hehehe… I must say first off that I love your new avatar! You look like a playful nature spirit peeking from behind that tree :) Yes, I think you got that right. We’re the unruly ones! The Muse takes a lot of the blame, even though it’s the ever so faithful one.
Comments on this entry are closed.
{ 2 trackbacks }