13 Signs Your Ego is Driving Your Blog 13 Signs Your Ego is Driving Your Blog | Shades of Crimson

13 Signs Your Ego is Driving Your Blog

by Davina on July 4, 2010

1. You want to be on TOP; better than the rest.

m
2.
You complain because you’re not getting enough comments.

3. You are jealous of the success of other bloggers.

4. You hang out on successful blogs to draw attention to yourself.

5. You don’t comment on certain blogs just out of principle.

6. You publish a post because your numbers are dropping.

7. You’re afraid to check your stats or you check them too much.

8. You log on while you’re still brushing your teeth in the morning (ahem).

9. You’re offended because so-and-so is commenting on so-and-so’s blog, but not yours.

10. You feel entitled to leave a comment and take offense if your opinion is disregarded.

11. You don’t appreciate the time you spend blogging.

12. You comment on every blog in your community till you’re burnt out.

13. Fill in the blank: ________________________________

Who is driving your blog?

If you’re not enjoying the ride, the ego is driving. Fasten your seat belt.

Who’s making the decisions? When the ego is calling the shots, it’s like driving with a screaming child in the back seat.

You’ll constantly be distracted, you’ll waste your energy and resent the trip. So, how can you avoid blogger’s e-Go? Stop blogging; might work.

But, if you like blogging, keep blogging. Do something different. The ego likes the familiar because it’s easier to control.

Following, are some ideas to keep things fresh for your drive.

If you’re thinking, “Duh. I already know about these,” then go back and fill in the blank for #13. What ELSE would you suggest then, smarty pants? If you haven’t tried any of these, what’s stopping you?

1. Stop for gas (fill up on living): take a break from your blog for even one day a week; don’t check stats, read blogs or reply to comments.

2. Slow down. Take a Sunday drive, roll the windows down and let the fresh air in — explore new blogs.

3. Take control at the wheel: write a guest post for another blog — be the expert that you think you are.

4. Yield: invite someone to guest post on your blog — make room for another expert.

5. Pull over and stop where it is safe to do so. Throw the damn ego in the trunk.

The ego isn’t necessarily a bad thing; we can learn from it if we’re aware of our motives and are honest about them.

It will either keep us alert, or distracted. We can use the ego’s influence to steer us in the right direction and not into a tree.

When you’re having fun the ego can’t keep up. With that perspective in mind, imagine the impact blogging can have.

And now if you’ll excuse me, I have to write my next post, reply to comments, read all the blogs in my reader and check my stats.

Woo hoo! There’s nothing like the wide open road. See ya in the fast lane! *toot, toot.*

What other ways does the e-Go show up online?

What impact is blogging having on your life?

Photo Credit: Grzegorz Łobiński

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{ 36 comments }

Joyce at What Would You Do In Heaven? July 4, 2010 at 3:03 am

Ouch! Felt like some of it are true ;) I really enjoy blogging, but there are times when I doubt whether there are really people reading my blog at all.
.-= Joyce at What Would You Do In Heaven?´s last blog ..A Poem of Joy- =-.

Mandy Allen July 4, 2010 at 9:35 am

Yes, I can identify with many of those, but if we couldn’t then why blog at all? We blog to be read by others, and ego is part of that.

Enjoy the journey.

Mandy
.-= Mandy Allen´s last blog ..Who have you inspired =-.

Tony Single July 4, 2010 at 5:34 pm

Davina, it’s like you’ve popped open the top of my skull and looked in! Every one of those points has applied to me (and in some cases still do). Scary! :P

Still, I think I’m doing a lot better at trying not to stroke my own ego (and not requiring it to be stroked by others) these days. I think what has helped in that is the fact that I have stumbled across a whole community of bloggers who I’d just want to keep up with anyway whether I was blogging or not! :)

Rose July 4, 2010 at 8:54 pm

Excellent post! I’m glad that I don’t let my ego drive my blog.

Ps: Miss you :(

Davina July 5, 2010 at 7:08 am

Happy Monday, everyone. I took July 4th off from the online world. Unplugged. No computer or even television… not even Twitter. It felt great! Belated Happy July 4th :)

Joyce,
Some days it feels like that, doesn’t it? Yes, ouch is right! :)

Mandy,
I couldn’t agree more. We do want to be read, otherwise why not just stick to the journal. I think a lot of people give up blogging because they get caught up in many of these. Learning to laugh at these ‘habits’ sure helps to put them in perspective.

Tony,
Lol. Yeah, I could say the same. Hey, there’s nothing wrong with having your ego stoked (typo — meant stroked — good one though, eh?), as long as it doesn’t take all the credit away from the REAL you :-) If IT/you compare yourself to other bloggers too much it can ruin your ride. I don’t think drag racing applies to blogging? Hah, hah. :-D

PS. I love your honesty about these.

Rose,
Glad you enjoyed this post. My ego inspired me :-) I miss you too. People come and go as life calls them, right? I know you’ve been taking care of other things. I hope your daughter is doing well.

J.D. Meier July 5, 2010 at 12:45 pm

> If you’re not enjoying the ride, the ego is driving. Fasten your seat belt.
Beautiful words of wisdom.
.-= J.D. Meier´s last blog ..Accelerate Your Career with a Rapid Growth Field =-.

Patricia July 5, 2010 at 2:06 pm

Blogging is part of my taking one step at a time approach to living rather than pushing, pushing, pushing the river. I just don’t feel up to speed yet from my Adrenal Fatigue and the gift of that is that I just do not get on the computer 3 days a week now. I do think blogging is a part of my healing process and writing helps me get lost and I so enjoy doing it…say you are looking good here…some more changes????

This is really a fun post to ponder and think about

Tess The Bold Life July 5, 2010 at 2:20 pm

I’ll add one…how about when I want to be a guest blogger and am either told no or ignored completely! LOL

I used to tell my clients looking for dates. There are nearly 7 billion people in the world if one says no ask another. So that’s what I do…I trust the universe that one wasn’t right for me and I move on. I love the trunk idea!

vered - blogger for hire July 5, 2010 at 2:43 pm

I used to be there… could mark “yes!” on 12 out of the 13. I’m over it now, and blogging has never been more enjoyable.

Chris Edgar July 5, 2010 at 5:10 pm

My ego has now transitioned out of driving my blogging and has been promoted to driving my book and workshop promotion. :) But actually, that is getting a lot easier as well — a sign that the ego may have taken the backseat there too.

Cath Lawson July 5, 2010 at 5:38 pm

LOL Davina – Do you really log on while you’re brushing your teeth?

I must admit, in the first year or so, I was anal about my stats but now I barely ever check them. But I do google keywords of certain posts to see how they’re ranking.

Since I began blogging again, I’m really enjoying it but things keep going wrong. I spent most of last week trying to fix hacked files because the hackers tried to commit fraud with the bank card I added to my hosting account.

Then halfway through that, my Internet access went off for four days. I was beginning to feel like the Internet was telling me to get lost (totally paranoid I know).

But it was silly of me to worry too much, when I haven’t been blogging for most of the year .
.-= Cath Lawson´s last blog ..4 Stupid Bucket List Mistakes To Avoid =-.

Davina July 5, 2010 at 7:48 pm

JD,
It sounds so simple, doesn’t it? Hah! Famous last words of wisdom :-P

Patricia,
You are wise with that one step at a time approach. Writing *is* therapeutic. It connects you with your soul and I find that tremendously healing. Enjoy those days away from the computer. It’s a great habit to get into.

Cool. You noticed! :-) I updated the Thesis theme. Now I can set up drop down menus, plus I changed the font and colour and size of the headline. You can do it via the Wordpress Dashboard now, instead of having to do the coding in the style sheets. I was up until 3:30 am fiddling around with things.

Tess,
Whaaaaat!? Ignored? I can understand and appreciate at least the “no” — at least your request was acknowledged. What IS it with people who ignore these things. It’s not like you are a spammer. Well, as you say, there is something better. And in those cases, it’s their ego that’s calling the shots. And… it’s their loss. One day they might be asking YOU for a guest post.

Vered,
Excellent! I imagine it was just more time, more experience and a lot of belief in yourself that got you to this point. Plus a good attitude doesn’t hurt.

Chris,
Lol. The ego shows up because there is potentially something good there and it wants to make it better. You’ll see :-D

Cath,
Yes I do! I log on while I’m brushing my teeth. Hahahah. Not every day of course, but a couple of times a week — the truth is out. I’ve witnessed myself sending a quicky email with the toothbrush hanging out of my mouth, pfft.

I guess you get used to it after a while where stats are concerned, eh? I check a lot but they don’t really effect me unless there is a sudden traffic spike.

Do you Google the same phrases that you see have referred readers to your blog? It’s curious because sometimes they don’t show up. I guess it depends on the browser they use.

I’m glad you’re enjoying blogging again, despite those frustrating technical difficulties. Good Lord, don’t these people have anything better to do!? It’s good to see you back at it and I can’t wait to dash over there to read about those 4 Stupid Bucket List Mistakes to Avoid, lol. So many of your post titles engage me alone; I’m giggling even before I read.

Jannie Funster July 5, 2010 at 7:48 pm

BEST post ever. Hits home, boy howdy.

I do admit I sometimes get out and read blogs when my comments are not coming in as much as usual. :) But luckily when I’m out reading and commenting on blogs I love, I’m reminded how much I enjoy visiting with you all. Like Tony says about the community.

LOL on number 9! I have felt that but now know better. We all have busy lives, and some people naturally are closer friends to some blogging friends than others as in RL.

And your non-electronics day on the 4th — stellar! I will plan a day like that for me. Breathe in things other than computer. :)

xo
.-= Jannie Funster´s last blog ..1929 Ford Roadster On The Fourth Of July =-.

Davina July 5, 2010 at 7:58 pm

Jannie,
Ohhhhhh… do it! Take a day and unplug. I want to make a habit of this. It was WONderful! I REALLY didn’t want to turn the computer on this morning.

Re #9 — I catch myself wondering why some people are out and about and don’t always make it by here. But as you say, we are busy and some people just naturally gravitate to certain people and their community. It’s nothing personal, though our minds start doing that dance. I think a lot of the time it’s just a numbers game and circumstance.

Sometimes I read a post and don’t comment right away. Sometimes it’s the title that grabs you, or the picture, or what another commenter has said that draws you in. As they say (who is they anyway?), we’re our own worst enemy!

Barbara Swafford July 6, 2010 at 1:33 am

LOL Davina,

Been there, done that. Know exactly what you’re saying. As much as comparing ourselves to others can be detrimental to our own growth, I think we can also learn from those who are more successful. For me, it’s a matter of putting the ego in the trunk and realistically looking to see what a successful blogger has done to get where they are. Sometimes I learn a new tactic, but other times I realize they’re investing more time into blogging than I care to.

What I find works best for me is to remind myself why I started blogging and to stick with that mission. If I don’t, I start to become crazed by silly and self defeating thoughts. THAT’s when I know it’s time to unplug, even if it’s just for a few hours.

BTW: Your blog is looking awesome. Love those drop down menus and the direction you’re headed.
.-= Barbara Swafford´s last blog ..Click Here =-.

XUP July 6, 2010 at 7:41 am

I don’t think my blog is particularly ego-driven. I deliberately stay away from any money-making or attention-getting opportunities that present themselves so that I don’t get sucked into that whole stat-watching thing. I like to write and I like to discuss stuff with people. That’s the fun of the blog for me – if something I’m thinking about sparks an idea in someone else and a discussion ensues between one or more commenters. So ya, it wouldn’t be nearly as much fun without comments, but I would (and have in the past) found other ways to keep writing.

Wendi Kelly-Life's Little Inspirations July 6, 2010 at 10:44 am

Hi Davina,

Great post. Maybe this is one we should check in with every now and then, like getting our teeth cleaned or getting our annual physical?

I think I’m doing ok. (At the moment) :) Frankly, I am so busy with other things my ego is going to have to get along without me.There is a saying, Where your Focus goes, your Fortune goes. I guess I don’t want my fortune to be in that stuff. The pay off just doesn’t feel all that rewarding to me.

Patty - Why Not Start Now? July 6, 2010 at 1:19 pm

Whew! Just reading about those 13 signs is exhausting, Davina. That’s the thing I notice about blogging with too much ego (or doing anything with too much ego, for that matter). It just drains me. I can always tell when the balance between ego and essence is out of whack for me. So even though I’m not fully there yet, I’m striving to write and maintain my blog from a Zen place. Because in the grand scheme of things, I know that none of this truly matters.

Thanks for the great food for thought!
.-= Patty – Why Not Start Now?´s last blog ..Meaning Mondays- Lazy =-.

Hilary July 6, 2010 at 1:43 pm

Hi Davina .. great post … fortunately I don’t do those .. but as you said ‘what else’ .. get on with it .. do what you want to do .. don’t go silly – you’ll be found out .. be honest and true to your blog, your commenters and the blogs you visit .. it’s a balancing act .. be gentle on yourself ..

Go girl .. do all the bad things in life and love it??!! See you shortly – somewhere, sometime .. Hilary
.-= Hilary´s last blog ..Hotspur- the Duchess and The Poison Garden =-.

Davina July 6, 2010 at 10:55 pm

Barbara,
What a great perspective you’ve shared here. I love it! And the only way we can begin to even choose to learn from those people is to not listen to our ego. This is why you’ve been blogging as long as you have and have attracted such a great community. You have a great attitude.

Thanks for the comment about the changes to my blog. They’re pretty subtle but things are percolating :)

XUP,
Your blog is one of my newest favs. I love the mixture of topics you write about and like you say, the conversation in the comment section is a huge plus. There are some real stinkers over there :) You’re like the good-natured professor Kotter with the hooligans in the back row.

Wendi,
Thanks. Lol… I like that; you’re not giving your ego any choice. Good strategy. There’s something to be said for just getting down to business.

Patty,
Heh, heh. I know :-) I like your analogy about how the ego drains your energy. It’s a good way to remind ourselves that we might be carrying more than our share on our shoulders. Your blog does have a Zen-like quality. I’m recalling your habit of taking a mini holiday every month away from the computer and how much difference that must make for you.

Hilary,
Thanks. Very matter of fact, you are. Just show up, be yourself, and keep on trucking. Hah… do all the bad things in life and love it. When you put it that way, they don’t sound like bad things anymore. What mischief can we get into? :-)

Joy July 7, 2010 at 2:58 pm

Davina,
Awe-some post, and reader comments..see we are all truly in this together..group teeth brushing anyone–post it on youtube then get our stats up???
I used to write posts unscheduled from my heart; I began this new format of three posts a week when I began my new blog. Within this I have much freedom to host guest authors and post slideshows and photos..things I didn’t feel comfortable with before..I promised myself the moment it was no longer fun, I wouldn’t do it. “It” meaning writing for my own or others blogs, reading and commenting on others blogs, interacting within our blogging community…
I believe that the Energy we have while creating is the energy that is then shared with others so when I write I make it fun and/or relaxing..depending upon the post…
I used to stress over I haven’t gotten to so and so’s blog in a bit..oh no…but now I make the rounds much as I do with friends.. I could use some laughter so head over to blog x, some wisdom blog y…
I live with minimal technology as far as material and access..so there are days I am not online at all, my readers and friends accept that about me.. I imagine if there are blogging rules I probably break them..as in life..but my connections are genuine..Ego has no place in my life, so certainly does not belong on my blog..I learn from each and every visitor and from each and every site that I visit…
Blogging in general has been life changing for me. I have made connections online that have enriched my “real life” in many ways…I am inpsired, motivated, encouraged, delighted..the list goes on and on…

Alien Ghost July 7, 2010 at 3:19 pm

Hi Davina,

Found your blog through Sara’s blog.

Checking the list of the “Devilish 13” you mention, I can happily report that, although # 7 was one of my mistakes at the beginning – checking too much statistics, none of the others have been a problem.

What happens is that I’m not really sure what to do with my blog; I have it because it’s enjoyable to write, it gives me the opportunity to express some thoughts and if there are some visitors and commenter then even better (otherwise it’ll be like screaming in the desert…soon you fell like you are loosing it!)

In a situation like that there’s no need to get visitors or prove success if there’s nothing special you want to do, like making money or promoting a business; if it is only for the fun of it then better few readers that could become friends than trying to become a blogging star and burn yourself.

For # 13 how about: You tell everyone around: friends, family, co-workers, that you have a blog and try to force them to visit it.

For this one, I’ve only told my wife about my blog (I don’t want her to think that I’m having an affair through the internet with someone else! :) )

Raul
.-= Alien Ghost´s last blog ..Long or Short =-.

Belinda Munoz + The Halfway Point July 7, 2010 at 4:28 pm

Hi Davina, I chuckled at some of the 13 things you listed because true as they may be, they sound so petty when in print (as if the offender needs to get a life). This is funny to me because we bloggers like to say things in print but reading about the realities of blogging is a different matter. That damn ego keeps grabbing hold of that wheel.

For me, I’m still really enjoying it. When it stops being fun, I hope my ego will know it’s time to move on.

Thanks for another great post.

Jim July 7, 2010 at 5:16 pm

I don’t have worry about this, being a non blogger.
I believe it is important to balance your ego, so you can take care of yourself with out being a pain in the butt to other people.
If you let your ego take total control of your car, you are just an accident waiting to happen.
It’s always nice to have close friend save you from yourself.
Right Davina :)

Mike July 7, 2010 at 7:39 pm

I agree with Vered…., but then, again, here I am commenting at a campground by a lake in western Nebraska and getting ready to do a couple of blog posts.

I don’t think that ego is a part of it. It’s just that Karen and I have made blogging a part of our lives and we take it along when we travel, posting as we go. (she gets tons more comments than I do, though.)
.-= Mike´s last blog ..Marais des Cygnes =-.

Davina July 7, 2010 at 10:53 pm

Joy,
Thanks. Yes there has been a lot of great input here.

LOL… brushing our teeth on Youtube to get our stats up? If bet, if anything, we’d attract spammers trying to sell us the secret to whiter teeth.

Making yourself a schedule seems to have given you the structure to channel that creative energy you talk about. That’s great! It does need some direction. Otherwise we ride on cloud 9 too much and many of our ideas never make it to this dimension. I bet you find that because you have that structure you invite more ideas to land, too.

It sounds like you’ve found the perfect balance between your online and offline world. I like how you’ve noted that blogging has enriched your “real life rather than become your life.

Alien Ghost,
Hey, thanks for popping over from Sarah’s blog. :) Haha! I love your suggestion for #13. That is SO true! I’m glad to hear that your blog is treating you well. It is a great outlet for writing and the readers and commenters are the icing on the cake. You’ve found what works for you where blogging is concerned… and for your wife, too :)

Belinda,
You’re welcome. That’s a great analogy about the ego grabbing the wheel. We have to be on our toes. It needs some driver training :) When blogging stops being fun tell your ego to go take a hike!

Jim,
Another great analogy! And, yeah, I catch your drift about friends saving friends from themselves.

Mike,
Well, you apparently don’t see doing blog posts as work… your ego is trying to make you see it that way though :) I couldn’t think of a better place to be blogging than at a campground by a lake. Me jealous.

Susan Deborah July 8, 2010 at 6:52 am

Davina:

How true this is! Sometimes most of the points you mentioned unconsciously happen and seldom we realise it.

Came over from Barbara’s comments. Glad to have stumbled here.

You take care and have a lovely remainder of the day.

Joy always,
Susan
.-= Susan Deborah´s last blog ..An aside called Octopus Paul =-.

Boris July 8, 2010 at 7:16 pm

Davina,
Brilliant! I really enjoyed your post.
All the best,
Boris
.-= Boris´s last blog ..Toronto- G20 and the weapons =-.

Evita July 8, 2010 at 7:34 pm

Hi Davina

LOL – this was a fantastic list! And one that I think is such a great read for any of us, at any time.

This is why my approach today, is stay light on the stat checking and heavy on the love and fun I have writing, no expectations and no obligations – all the rest is just a bonus :)

We really need to do what we love, for the sake of love – that is what feels best after all!
.-= Evita´s last blog ..Double Love =-.

Davina July 9, 2010 at 1:02 am

Hi Susan.
Glad you dropped by — thanks for your comment :) That’s true what you say; this becomes an unconscious habit. Some days I recognize that the mood has slipped and then I realize it’s in direct response to negative self-talk that has been chattering away. Then, the mood can shift instantaneously.

Hi Boris.
Thanks :) Glad you enjoyed this.

Hi Evita.
Lol… I agree! :-D Heavy on the fun… nice for a t-shirt. Maybe not on a bumper sticker tho — hehehe.

Barb Hartsook July 9, 2010 at 10:49 am

Hey Davina. I guess there’s an ego driving things somewhere down there. I haven’t looked — the days are so full of learning and reading and loving what I do and trying to fit it all in. And then trying to organize what to do with it all, to someday be profitable.

I know I fall short in so many blogging-basics that I don’t have time to wonder where on the path others are. Just knowing we’re all on it is comforting and motivating and sometimes pressure-pushing. I like being in good company. I don’t log in while brushing my teeth though. Maybe I would if my bathroom were bigger. Hahaha!

I do take days off — my family all live close by and we’re involved in each others’ lives.

Hmmm — should I think more about the ego or just move on????? Love the questions you ask.

Barb
.-= Barb Hartsook´s last blog ..Do You Check In With Friends Every Day =-.

Davina July 9, 2010 at 10:25 pm

Barb,
Ego? What ego? ;-) Move on, definitely! I feel the same way… trying to fit it all in — the good stuff — it’s a great way to feel. I remember as kids we’d get bored pretty quickly, but these days there’s no chance of that. Heh, heh… I just find brushing my teeth SO boring I can’t stand in one place long enough :)

That’s great that your family is close by and you can get together regularly. It’s rare these days… you are blessed.

Cath Lawson July 10, 2010 at 1:02 am

Thanks Davina – Mostly I just Google the keyphrases I’m trying to get more traffic from. But I used to Google strange keyphrases that folk found me by cos I was curious to know what brought them to my blog.

Davina July 11, 2010 at 12:19 am

Cath,
Some of the key phrases are unbelievable. I’m sure you’ve read some of Jannie’s posts about those SEO searches.

Liara Covert July 13, 2010 at 8:34 pm

As one suddenly realizes nothing matters, then quantifying anything is no longer an impulse. BY changing your language or perspective, nothing changes but your own perception of ego self and what exists beyond that.
.-= Liara Covert´s last blog ..Practice the Middle Way =-.

Davina July 13, 2010 at 11:48 pm

Liara,
Perception can change in a split second. You make it sound easy :)

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