“We hide from ‘painful’ feelings; embarrassed. If you’re an artist, a writer, a dancer, etc., express the ‘sad’. It could be your best work.”
Write the sad; right the sad
Been feeling sad lately. Well, sort of…
Denying the sadness, actually. Closing the door on it. What I’ve realized is that by closing the door I’ve locked myself in with it.
Shutting the feelings down brought me down with them. Why do we fear this place? I’ve recognized how it’s not a place I appreciate and from what I’ve seen, neither do most others when they feel it in themselves.
But man, is there a richness there when you don’t pretend it doesn’t exist. Going there is to embrace all of you in that space; to love ALL of you. Standing and reaching tall.
Live and learn; learn to live
The feelings are much larger than a child; much larger than an adult. They don’t go unwitnessed, whether you give them audience or not. They are there and you know it. Others do too, on a subtle level, and their interactions with you are coloured because of it.
It filters your perspective of others and your relations with others. Your relations with yourself. Your creativity. Being in this place is about connecting with the emotions; the elements of yourself; your nature.
The wind and fire of rage. The delicate dewdrop tears. Surrendering to the shaping of life. Standing in one’s own spotlight; self-assured.
Exploring it with heart opens the door and lets the world in. Feeling it allows you to be at home with yourself and others to be at home with you.
Life coaches tend to say that when you’re feeling low or angry it’s because you’re choosing to feel that way. I’m going take it a step farther and say that it’s because you’re choosing to NOT feel that way. You’re resisting what is there.
While on my blogging break, I’ve joined a Summer Writing Space to explore new aspects of writing and to coach my own creative space. More accurately, it’s been coaching me.
Recently, I responded to a prompt from Joanna at the Summer Writing Space to write a piece where every new line began with “I am from”. I used that prompt to give the feelings somewhere to land.
Emotions, passion and creativity are family. Don’t be afraid to feel. There are riches in these places and they are a part of your evolution. They are offering you a gift that just needs to be unwrapped. You might be surprised at what you find.
How far are you willing to reach?
Where I’m from is Elementary
I am from nothing;
do I exist?
I am from one dream; vivid…
blew in on funnel clouds,
raging, storming and swirling with life energy,
heavenly fingers pointing down from above.
I am from the embers,
glowing crimson under indigo skies,
smoldering, sparking, and
too hot to touch.
I am from a dewdrop,
tiny, delicate and glistening,
resting on the faraway tip of a quivering leaf,
paused, poised and ready to leap.
I am from frost,
out on a limb,
tinkling in the icy breath of a white April morn.
I am from the drama
that birthed me
and took me to audience;
where I waited, breathing;
no witness, no applause, no judgment.
I am from the blue clay of Terminal Creek, sculpted;
a vase styled, curvy and shaped,
a woman holding a space
to be filled.
I am from the flight of ladybug,
searching for home,
just ahead of a dream,
that blew in on funnel clouds.
How do you bring voice to your emotions?
What structure invites your creativity?
What stops you and why?
What are you waiting for?
If you care to explore your creative process, reach for your write impact.
My blogging activities may have paused, but business is still on.
Photo credits:
The picture of myself was taken by my friend, Jim.
Dewdrop is from Flickr.com by Lord V
patricia
Hilary
Tony Single
Linda
Barbara Swafford
Deb Dorchak
Chris Edgar
{ 40 comments }
Davina,
This was a lovely read. Thank you for sharing your sadness. You’ve helped me accept that right now I’m kinda sad too, and it’s nice to know that there’s nothing wrong with being in the place, at least for a little while. Bless you.
Davina, your poem is lovely. There’s an otherworldly-ness about it that is comforting; something timeless and solid and wholesome. It offers peace.
We want to escape those sad feelings, yet embracing them and wrapping them around us like a dark cloak actually seems to alleviate them faster. When they are heard, we and they share in a kind of mourning, and then they fade away, appreciated, as we breathe in a fresh clean breath.
.-= Julie´s last blog ..In Others Words- 3 =-.
Seriously, if this is what comes from taking a break you made a fantastic decision! What an awesome piece of writing – all of it just blew me away this morning! Fabulous photo, too, girlfriend! Love you!
.-= Betsy Wuebker´s last blog ..Knowing What We Know Now =-.
Davina, your poem is exquisite. I love the ever present affirmation of one’s existence with the words “I am from”. This is my space. It goes wherever I go, and there would be a vacuum if I were not here to fill it. Beautiful! :)
How do you bring voice to your emotions?
I do it whenever I talk or type or listen. I do it whenever I commit pen to the page. I just do it, and hope I’m not leaving myself hopelessly, foolishly vulnerable and naked!
What structure invites your creativity?
Literally the architecture of my mind, and the thoughts that fill it like so much furniture. It’s a constant challenge to transfer the abstractness therein to the page so that others might grasp it and relate without robbing it of its poetry and beauty. Does that sound weird? :P
What stops you and why?
Me, especially when I see what others do with their creativity. Then I think, “Tony, you’re a hack!” Of course, I’m not a hack at all. It’s just my stupid insecurities speaking! :(
What are you waiting for?
For the world to applaud? For the Dancing Queen? I don’t know. I think I just go ahead and do the creativity thing because something compels me to. Maybe I’m just wired that way?
By the way, Davina, that is really a lovely photo of you. You look truly relaxed and comfortable in your skin. Well, you give off that vibe anyway. :)
I’m not very good about exploring my feelings.. I think each of us copes her own way. But I loved reading this and boy that photo of yours is gorgeous!
.-= vered´s last blog ..Why Do You Like Me =-.
Daphne,
Thanks :) I agree. We tend to get down on ourselves just because we’re feeling down. When I notice I’m that way… and admit it, I recognize what thoughts have been nattering away at me. As you might guess, they’re those familiar critical doomsayer voices. Course, I’m not talking about depression here and I know there are a myriad of causes and treatments for that, but this helps to halt that downward slide. Would you be interested in writing an “I’m from” poem? See what is there for you…
Julie,
Thank you. I like your note about otherworldly-ness in relation to comfort. To me, that illustrates surrendering because generally we folk tend to fear the unknown and try to control things when we’re unsettled.
Sometimes these sad feelings are pretty fleeting. Other times they hang around a bit longer… like someone is tapping you on the shoulder, trying to get your attention. I love your description of how “we” share the mourning as they fade away. It’s interesting how we mourn the good *and* the bad leaving.
Betsy,
Wow, thanks! :-) It just happened in like… 30 minutes after I began typing. Guess it was the right time. It never ceases to amaze me how sometime we can sit down and write and feel happy with it, while other times we labour. Then again, there was labouring that was a prerequisite here, lol.
Tony,
Oh, great analogy! “This is my space. It goes wherever I go…” It’s like we can’t separate ourselves, unless we deny the emotions; that’s where I think we run into a rut and get stuck.
I love that you took the time to answer all the questions! :-) Your answer to the first one indicates, to me, that you are totally plugged in to your creativity. And it shows on your blog and in your cartoons. Your playful attitude and sense of humour; you’re a natural at expressing yourself and touching people.
Not weird at all! That constant challenge to transfer the abstractness to the page keeps the artist on his toes. I think if it were always easy, we’d loose motivation… cause we seem to like to be able to “conquer” things in addition to expressing them.
You’re wired, all right :) For the Dancing Queen, lol — Go Abba! Thanks for the comment about the photo. I’m most comfortable in my own skin when I’m out in nature.
Vered,
Sorry, for some reason your comment went into moderation. We do need to find our own way to cope and I’m glad that you have found yours. Trying to do something just because it works for someone else won’t always work.
Re, the photo; thanks! :-)
Davina:
First off: You look lovely in red!
By sharing your emotions, you have enabled us to partake in your cup of life. Honoured and joyous. Emotions always change. Your sadness will pass eventually. What matters is the spirit with. Nourish it and it will sustain you.
Know what: Your picture and the subject of sadness contradict each other. You look well and happy as a lark!
Bless you.
Joy always,
Susan
.-= Susan Deborah´s last blog ..A winter grace =-.
Hi Davina,
I’m so glad you’re posting photos of yourself. It adds so much and now I feel like I really am getting to know you. In fact I’d recognize you if I ran into you.
The poem speaks volumes. I agree with Julie it’s other worldly. And the photo of the drop is absolutely incredible;) Wow you turned your sadness into beauty and joy and shared it with us. Thank you.
“is there a richness there when you don’t pretend it doesn’t exist. Going there is to embrace all of you in that space; to love ALL of you. Standing and reaching tall.” love your picture to go with this phrase…
and the bottom picture too….and just amazed at your poem and creativity…have read it 3 times…
I am jealous that you are doing the workshop, but next time I will too have a turn and make that feeling work for me…
I am just a mass of feelings all the time…and I write about them for tomorrows post….not locking myself in with them
Your writing inspires me…
Thanks, Susan :)
You’re absolutely right. Writing the poem moved the sadness right along and I chose that picture on purpose. For that reason, and for the fact that it helped to illustrate standing and reaching tall, and being at home in the spotlight. I agree… nourish the spirit and it will sustain you. Folk tend to forget that part in the busyness of day-to-day pursuits.
Tess,
I’ll recognize you too, now; especially after watching your video (even without the clown’s nose, lol). I love your new avatar. That photo of the dewdrop is incredible. It was a lucky find… so perfect for the topic.
Patricia.
Wow, you read it 3 times! You’re inspired? That makes me feel really good — thank you for sharing :-D This poem moved a lot of “stuff” in a good way; I’m glad it has moved you, too. Perhaps that was it’s purpose?
Even though you’re not doing the workshop, you can still practice the exercise. You are very tuned in to your feelings; I can attest to that, in a good way. And I love how willing you are to “go there”. You’ve mastered the art of vulnerability.
Hi Davina,
As I mentioned on Facebook, I like this photo of you. It really shows your playful side.
What you said about sadness reminds me of when I’ve gone through the grieving process. It’s so much easier to just close the door on the pain, the loss, the sadness, but what I would find is the pain would come knocking, often at a very inopportune time. Dealing with the sadness head on, feeling the feelings, and coming to terms with them, is what would get me through. And even then, it didn’t necessarily make the pain or sadness go away, but I was able to identify with it.
It’s like you said,
Great observation!
.-= Barbara Swafford´s last blog ..Lose Weight While Blogging =-.
Davina,
The “I am…” poem was absolutely beautiful. When I read your poetry, I often see a waterfall in my head. It’s not a big, loud one, but a soft, gentle one.
There is a sadness in this writing, but I like that you’re not turning away from it, but facing it and even gently hugging it:~)
.-= Sara´s last blog ..My Challenge- Poetry Writing =-.
Hi Davina,
Sadness is beautiful! Sadness is the moment when we can see inward and get to know more about ourselves. Sadness shouldn’t be denied just like we never deny happiness or laughter, because is another element that makes us human beings.
People deal with sadness in different ways; I write sad stories that make me cry and in the process can get over the sadness but while enjoying it as part my being human.
Raul
.-= Alien Ghost´s last blog ..Love as a Drug =-.
Davina,
This was so beautiful…you’ve allowed your heart to open to sadness and transform it to utter beauty!
I *love* your photo..if you have time, please come to my blog to check out my tree..I bet you’d join my ‘tree party”…and feel the love among the circle there..
Your poem is amazing on so many levels..thank you for sharing it!
You expressed today exactly what my heart was looking for, so thank you! I have joy filled tears at your words, your expressiveness because you are reflecting to me..incredible!
Thank you!
Choosing to be human gives one enormous freedom to experience a range of feelings. The truth of who you are is only ever felt and cannot be understood at soul level if mind chooses to fear or repress the flow. As one reaches a point where everything is a blessing, then perspective expands. You realize you are a master of your own game, now.
.-= Liara Covert´s last blog ..Mindfulness serves you =-.
Barbara,
Thanks. :) That’s a brilliant point about being able to identify with the pain and the fact that it doesn’t necessarily go away as you would like. I believe that we’re not always ready to deal with it head on either, and to respect that and not push our way through, or feel critical of ourselves — that’s a vicious cycle.
Sara,
I love your analogy of the waterfall! :) I agree there is a sadness in the writing; but yes, it is a ‘good’ sad — I know what you mean.
What was neat about this process was that after I’d written the poem, I read it to myself. It was as if the poem had been written TO me, not by me. I didn’t think the words; they came from nowhere.
I started getting the message behind it after reading it a few times. Then the post was written. I truly believe these things don’t just come from us and not necessarily FOR us. There are messages here for any reader if they resonate with it. It’s not even about sadness anymore… it’s just expression; not right or wrong, good or bad.
Alien Ghost,
Ohhhh, I love this! “is another element that makes us human beings” and not to deny it just like not denying happiness, etc. Thank you!
Joy,
Thank you. :-) Your mention of joy-filled tears really touched me. I love these “connections” we make with each other and “it”, despite being behind the computer screen. I’ll check out your “tree party”, lol — thanks for letting me know about it. Tree hugger incoming :-)
Liara,
This is great — thanks. When mind chooses to repress the flow, THAT is when we become disconnected and the real pain of separation strikes. The sadness was not painful when it was just witnessed and not resisted.
Davina, very pretty photo of you & your poem is lovely. I have found writing when I’m sad helps some. It is good to get our emotions down on paper.
Rose,
Thanks. :) It does help to get it down on paper. It allows the chance to view it in more perspectives than if it continued to circle round and round in your head.
Great post, and so true. I can totally associate with the ‘locking in’ – we do have to try not to do that. Learning all the time….
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
.-= Mandy Allen´s last blog ..How do you relax =-.
Hi Davina — thanks for gracing us with this glimpse into you — I imagine it’s a relief to let go of making sadness a problem, but what’s more, I feel more connected to you when I get to see your immediate experience.
Now that’s a post!
What a wonderful perspective you unveiled so beautifully. It touched a deep core for me — the place my family compartmentalized our emotions to hide, mask, and run away from the “negative” feelings. I liked looking into this place with you and not being afraid.
.-= Lori Hoeck´s last blog ..Self Defense- simple moves anyone can do =-.
Wow, what glorious words, Davina. And I totally agree with you about feelings. I love that you’re a coach who honors them. One of my teachers in coach training told us to refrain from asking about feelings. “Don’t even use the word,” he said. What rubbish. I’m exploring feelings and emotions these days through dance and movement, process painting, collage, and ritual. And like you, writing. What glorious riches these things bring to our lives. They’re absolutely transformational.
.-= Patty – Why Not Start Now?´s last blog ..Meaning Mondays- Stuff and Meaning =-.
Mandy, hi.
Yeah it’s hard to let the good stuff in when you’re under lock and key.
Chris,
You’re welcome. It does help to lighten the load and makes getting past it less personal in a way… if that makes any sense.
Lori,
Thanks :-) I’m glad to have helped. Not resisting these feelings is just like facing your fears and it’s interesting that by not resisting they loose strength over you.
Patty,
Wow, seriously? You guys were asked to refrain from asking about feelings? Preposterous! How is that “life” coaching. Ack! Exploring this through dance and movement is awesome. Freestyle writing is great but when you use body movement it takes it to a whole other level. It goes beyond feelings to sensual.
Hi Davina
“We hide from ‘painful’ feelings; embarrassed. If you’re an artist, a writer, a dancer, etc., express the ‘sad’. It could be your best work.”
That is so true – we avoid the sad.
When I’m writing a speech, that I want to have real impact, I look for a subject that carries with it intense sadness – that’s my main message. I introduce the subject with some form of self directed humour, move slowly into the main message and then pull back into a few light hearted comments.
If you get it right the audience laugh, cry and finish with an optimistic smile.
As the quote says “express the ‘sad’. It could be your best work”.
.-= Keith Davis´s last blog ..A splash of colour =-.
I think it’s an awesome pic too.
What you say here makes a lot of sense Davina. I think I’m going to need you to coach me this winter, because I can’t write when I get depressed.
But as you’re saying, maybe it’s because I’m trying to block out the fact that I feel so sad and that is keeping me locked in it.
In the winter, I will find mindless diversions to block out how I’m feeling, and as soon as I’m feeling better, I’m not interested in the diversions at all. Maybe I need to try to stop avoiding feeling sad.
I love your poem – you are so creative.
.-= Cath Lawson´s last blog ..How I Made My Knowledge Sell & You Can Too =-.
Keith,
You know, it’s like we’ve been “trained” to avoid it. I remember hearing my mother say, “Don’t cry” when I was little. It’s seen as a weakness of some sort when I believe being vulnerable is a strength. The emotions have a great way of opening us up. That is a great tactic you are using for your speeches. People let their guard down and are much more ready to “hear” what you have to say.
Cath,
Thanks :) Maybe I should get it enlarged and frame it, lol. I’m glad you enjoyed the poem. Writing it was incredible. It helps to work with things that you are passionate about; in my case that’s nature.
It’s tough to “be” with depression. I’ve been there a few times and can empathize with you. Thing is, it’s great to be able to write about it when you’re on the other side, but when you’re in it, well it’s entirely different.
I’m feeling now, that when that is the case, letting go of the expectation to “feel better” as nuts as that may sound, might be a key. To turn off the “fix-it” mode and just observe, write, express what that feeling is.
I’ll be happy to work with you, Cath should you decide that is what you want to do. I’d love to support you.
I’m feeling sad also, with all my fathers’ health issues. There is nothing wrong with feeling sad. One of the many emotions we have.
I liked the way you described closing the door. You have to reopen it, to get control of your life back.
Beautiful poem Davina!
Love the dewdrop picture. The picture I took of you is also very good.
Take care of yourself.
Jim,
Thanks. Yep, you did a good job at the pictures. I really appreciated your patience — you took a lot of shots that day.
I’m sorry you are feeling sad. The situation is not in your control and that makes it difficult. You’ve brought up a good point about “sad”. We can feel it for ourselves and we can feel it for or because of other people. Seems there is always a catalyst for sad but you are the place where it is felt and where you discover it has been hiding. I think of your dad… and your mom everyday. They are two very special people. I truly hope that your dad is as comfortable as he can be.
Hi Davina .. gosh you write well right! You say so much here .. and for now I can’t really react – as I need to plod on and get through my present challenges and along my path .. I am .. but I do look forward to the day when I can take time out and evaluate all things around me .. realise what is not wrong .. most things for us ..
Have a good rest of the week .. and thanks so much for your recent help! & for commenting on my recent (if you can call it that now!) post on FB .. hugs to that tree and you .. good picture! Definitely one for the ongoing scrap book .. not heap!!! Happy days .. Hilary
.-= Hilary´s last blog ..Could this be a sitcom – or a break out sitcom Ever had a one word – at a time – conversation Fish and Chips – how do you spell it =-.
Davina,
I haven’t commented for a while but I’ve been watching. Your poem is beautiful…I am from expresses those intangibles so well.
I love your metaphor of locking yourself in with your sadness. May you find the door soon and open it to a new joy.
.-= simply stephen´s last blog ..how to mobilize your life =-.
Hilary,
Thanks! :-) Wow… that was a powerful statement!… “evaluate all things around me .. realise what is not wrong.” What is NOT wrong. Considering all the things that *could* go wrong as our imaginations would have us believe, I’m betting there is a lot that is NOT wrong.
Nice to see you online again — a welcome distraction from your move…
Stephen,
Thanks. I see by reading your blog that you are on a wonderful journey. It sounds exciting and I’m thrilled for you.
Hi Davina .. the idea came from Jan’s post on 25th July ..
http://www.awakeisgood.com/2010/07/meditation-monday-whats-not-wrong.html
So it’s to Jan’s credit .. that I picked up the phrase .. it’s so true though isn’t it .. ?
Have a great Thursday .. is it? A week since I moved! Next step somewhere permanent .. but all things will come! Hilary
.-= Hilary´s last blog ..Could this be a sitcom – or a break out sitcom Ever had a one word – at a time – conversation Fish and Chips – how do you spell it =-.
Very true, Hilary.
Thanks for sharing that link. Wow, one week already. Seems like yesterday you were prepping for the move. Must seem like ages for you with so much happening. Hope things have settled a bit, Hilary.
Hi Davina .. it was a good post .. What is there not to be right ..
I know – life has settled a little .. was given another bag yesterday .. it had a small foam pillow in – I had the pillow case .. that I use to sleep with .. and a toilet brush set?! Life is fun? There’s a few other things there ..
Life is settling a little – thanks .. Mum still in hospital .. but ok & I hope coming out soon … today?, tomorrow? .. sometime anyway!
One more day of getting a few other things done & that will be a big weight off my shoulders – then I get back into blogging and doing my course .. byeeeee H
.-= Hilary´s last blog ..Could this be a sitcom – or a break out sitcom Ever had a one word – at a time – conversation Fish and Chips – how do you spell it =-.
So sorry to hear you’d been sad. And as usual you sharing with honesty to show us ourselves, and that are feelings are okay.
My sadness seems to be so tied to my feminine cycle. It’s like a damn waits to burst, then releases. Then rights itself again. I know it will pass, and the thought that it will is what gets me through, but it’s never fun when it’s in its low point.
And just LOVE that summer pic of you, looking so cute.
HUGS
xoxo
.-= Jannie Funster´s last blog ..“Somewhere On A Michigan Highway” — Singin’ For & About The G-Man =-.
Hilary,
That’s great the life has settled a little. Lol… you got a toilet brush? :-) I’m imagining that your mother is home from the hospital now and things have settled even more than a little for the both of you. And back to blogging… forward march. Hugs to you both.
Jannie,
That’s true; the emotions are influenced by that darn “cycle”. Great analogy re the dam burst. You couldn’t be farther from the truth. You’re right, it’s not always fun at those low points but knowing it’s not forever really does help. Going for long walks helps too. And so does talking about it. Thanks for the comment about the picture. I like being called cute :-)
Yup – delighted to be “home” .. she said ‘it’s lovely’ and ‘you’re lovely too’!! .. so that was cheering to hear. Not easy though for her .. but life must take its course .. I can get on now knowing that she’s back at the Nursing centre -where I can visit all hours – not to say I do .. but if I need to .. and I can work there, which will be helpful.
She wanted to watch a little of the Rugby .. and look at the flowers, the posters etc .. & me! but that’s the way it’s been ..
and now back to blogging .. mostly on Chrome, some commenting via IE & posting via IE .. odd things happen with Chrome .. so now I’ve solved the answer .. protem – at least I can comment on blogs I was having difficulty with – the account profile box wouldn’t drop down in Chrome – don’t ask me why ..
Enough of this rambling too early .. have a great day .. Hilary and with some big hugs winging your way ..
.-= Hilary´s last blog ..Could this be a sitcom – or a break out sitcom Ever had a one word – at a time – conversation Fish and Chips – how do you spell it =-.
Hi there Hilary.
“‘it’s lovely’ and ‘you’re lovely too’!” — that’s always nice to hear from your mother :) Glad you got your commenting problems solved. Thanks for the winging hug returns :-)
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