Where are your missing pieces?
Rachel Naomi Remen tells a delightful story in her best-selling book “Kitchen Table Wisdom.”
When she was about three or four years old, Rachel’s father put the pieces of a new puzzle onto a table. One morning, when she was alone, little Rachel looked at the hundreds of pieces, and noticed that although some were brightly coloured, others were dark and shadowy. They seemed ugly and frightening, and made her feel uncomfortable.
So, she collected a few of the dark pieces and hid them under the cushions on the sofa. In the following days, whenever Rachel had an opportunity, she gathered more of the pieces that disturbed her, and added them to the hidden cache.
As Rachel’s parents tried, day after day, to complete the puzzle, they began to suspect that something was not right. Rachel’s mother counted the pieces, and realized that many were missing.
When she asked Rachel if she knew where they were, Rachel told how she had hidden the pieces that she didn’t like. So Rachel’s mother recovered the missing pieces from under the cushions, and began to complete the puzzle. Rachel says:
“I remember watching her do this. As piece after dark piece was put in place and the picture emerged, I was astounded. I had not known there would be a picture. It was beautiful, a peaceful scene of a deserted beach. Without the pieces I had hidden, the game had made no sense.”
“After reading this story I wondered about all those shadow parts of ourselves that we hide from people (and ourselves). Maybe they wouldn’t be so dark and scary if we included them in the whole picture. Maybe we wouldn’t feel inclined to seek something more if we told the whole story.”
Your hidden pieces become self-serving, looking for ways to justify the way things seem.
Special Announcement
There are TWO FREE seats up for grabs in The Write Impact Workshop — working with the basics of story structure. This is just like working with pieces of a puzzle where you watch the pieces of your story come together.
Someone who wishes to remain anonymous has come forward to offer me a donation of $60 towards someone’s seat. I’ve decided to match that donation and offer another seat.
If you would like to join the writing group, which starts on Sunday, November 7th, let me know when you leave your comment to this post and include the words WRITE IMPACT. I will make a draw from those names and choose the two winners. You will both be notified by email by October 24th.
Visit The Write Impact Workshop for more information on the workshop.
Photo Credit: Lumaxart
J.D. Meier
patricia
Hilary
Tony Single
Linda
Barbara Swafford
Deb Dorchak
{ 24 comments }
Wonderful story! It reminds me of the saying, we would never know what ‘light’ is unless we experienced the dark.
.-= Barbara Ling, Virtual Coach´s last blog ..Why I would NEVER use Kajabi…and why I’m telling MY customers the same thing =-.
> Maybe they wouldn’t be so dark and scary if we included them in the whole picture
Beautiful point on keeping a balance view and stepping back to see the collage, kaleidoscope, and mural of our lives. Sometimes we’re too close to ourselves to really see ourselves.
.-= J.D. Meier´s last blog ..Getting Results Knowledge Base is Ready for Action =-.
Davina,
Amazing post..and love the above comments..
I keep thinking about how much I love the moonbeams and I wouldn’t be able to revel in them if I was afraid of the dark…so too my light shines brightly maybe because I have no fear about where I’ve been but share it generously to light the way for others…
Very generous offer for your workshop Davina..how thoughtful of you and your donor..I *love* the kindness within this community..
.-= Joy´s last blog ..Celebrating New Moon… =-.
I love this post! I am finding that so many people are afraid to show their true selves to the world for fear of being judged and they call me “brave” for my honesty and “reality”. I have met so many people recently who feel alone and not fitting in and not “normal” and who are amazed that others feel the same way. If only we would all share all parts of ourselves, surely we would not feel so alone? If I see other people’s ugly, shadowy bits, I feel closer to them….
.-= Dorothy´s last blog ..Postcard from Busselton =-.
How insightful – Any picture, any situation – it is a mix of shadow and light. I am not sure that we could have a full and beautiful picture if we didn’t have the shadows. They are beautiful in their own right and offer their own gifts to each of us.
They may not seem pretty to look at when we first see them, but it is in the shadows that I find more of the beauty of myself and the depth.
Loved this.
.-= The Exception´s last blog ..PLAY!! =-.
Barbara,
Exactly! Thanks for adding that saying; it’s a perfect metaphor to help explain this.
JD,
Thanks. It is hard to see the big picture when you are in it, lol. I love your choices here of the collage, the kaleidoscope and the mural to represent our lives. Gives us tool to step “out” of it and look “at” it.
Joy,
That’s true. There are a lot of things we wouldn’t be able to see if it weren’t for the dark. Fireflies, lightning, Northern Lights… I like how you’ve added “your light” into this scenario. We do have that to offer each other and I think we forget that sometimes :) Yours shines through the writing on your blog.
Dorothy,
That’s true. How many people are thinking the same things and afraid to mention it? :-) All it takes is one person to do it — kind of giving “permission” to the others to do it or like opening the door or turning on a light. I guess what holds us back is judging ourselves and believing those ugly bits are ugly bits. They sure stay pretty ugly in the imagination if we leave them there.
Exception,
Oh, this is a great analogy! That is SO true that there are mixtures of shadow and light in pictures. Contrasts, blurs :-) Without each of them, the other seems kind of lost. The shadows give the opportunity to add highlights and vice versa. Thanks for this analogy. We could have a LOT of fun with this. Excellent.
What a beautiful, touching story.
We all have things we hide, though. It’s difficult to imagine a world where everyone would be completely transparent.
.-= vered´s last blog ..Kid Friendly Food- I Hate To Admit It- But Sometimes It IS Necessary =-.
Hi Davina — that’s a wonderful metaphor for how integrating the “dark” parts of ourselves can be a blessing — I’ve been discovering that recently with the part of me that can be fiercely defensive. :)
I have heard this story before and it is good to refresh myself of it’s message. So many of these grant reports I am reading are trying to high the dark truths of their project – I really have to dig, because the grants were given to shed light on teen problems in their area and get a whole picture of how the State is working…I think I will share this story at work with my team…they are struggling too to understand what the volunteers did with the funds.
I so want to do this workshop Davina…You know I do, but I will not be done until November 12th at 6pm with this job…could I do this a day or two later? or slide into the start?
Hi Davina .. what an amazing little tale .. I hadn’t thought of the missing pieces like that before .. nor would I have had the understanding that I could hide a few dark pieces .. however the referral to self – explains it all ..
Great to know that we’re getting there .. and I’m learning so much about openness to self .. and other aspects of life .. and story telling ..
Thanks and love everyone’s comments – it’s such a simple story of life .. isn’t it .. thanks Hilary
.-= Hilary´s last blog ..Will we watch 101 Dalmatians when we’re 90 or when we’re 84 =-.
I enjoyed reading this post because it made me ask if I am still hiding any dark parts of myself. Interestingly I may be more guilty of hiding the shiny, beautiful parts.
@Vered I would love to live in a world where everyone were completely transparent. That made me think of the Jim Carey movie where he couldn’t lie. :)
.-= Tom Volkar / Delightful Work´s last blog ..Success Via Authentic Connection =-.
Vered,
I agree, on both accounts.
Chris,
It is a great metaphor. I love this perspective because it makes it easier to step outside of “the story”, look back at it and not feel as threatened by it.
Patricia,
Good luck with your project. You have a team… this is good. I’ve emailed you in answer to your question.
Hilary,
Yeah, I thought this was pretty neat. We’re experts at judging and hiding these pieces to protect ourselves. We’re our own worst enemies and pretty darn good storytellers :)
Tom,
Oh! Good point! Brilliant point. :-)
I had to come back and leave “this” comment –
One of the features I love about this post is that the words are used to create a picture and the picture is used to express an idea – the visual is strong allowing the WRITE IMPACT to provide the reader with multiple ways of connecting with the point!
.-= The Exception´s last blog ..PLAY!! =-.
He he…
Love your comment. You’re SO good :)
Your comment has made the Write Impact, lol. I will put you in the draw, Marla. Would be lovely to have you in the workshop. I’ll be letting the “winners” know by email this coming Sunday. Thanks for coming back to indicate your interest! :-)
I love that woman and Kitchen Table Wisdom. With families not eating or sitting down together I’m not sure where the wisdom comes from these days. Even in the car everyone seems to be plugged in to something. I’m trying to figure out the title would be today __________ __________ Wisdom. Fill in the blanks would ya?
Oooh, good story, revealing on multiple levels. I love that writing can do this, say so much in simple terms, be profound or surfacy or both or something else. For me, I’ve always loved the scarey. I would’ve stolen those dark bits of the puzzle to cherish.
.-= Rebecca´s last blog ..Casting Off =-.
Tess,
I know what you mean. The “wisdom” appears to be coming from the Internet but it’s not really “learned” wisdom, is it? I dunno… Wired Wisdom :)
Rebecca
I know, I love this story! It’s the metaphors, I think. They open the door so wide to explore. LOL… you’d steal the dark bits, eh? I just learned about a novel that’s a humorous horror story. Not sure if that would interest you, but it’s called The Short Cut, by Mark Pepper.
Hi Davina – What a fantastic story about the importance of owning our own shadows (the title of one of my favorite books, btw). And hey, congrats on your new workshop offering. Very inspiring for me. Some day I want to try my hand at a “telecircle,” and seeing you step up to do something like this makes me think I will one day get my act together!
.-= Patty – Why Not Start Now?´s last blog ..Dream the Impossible Dream Redux =-.
That’s a very interesting story, and unlike anything I would have done at that age. Now I can see that pieces of our lives viewed separately do not necessarily represent our lives as a whole. Seeing the pieces of the puzzle all put together had the WRITE IMPACT on the girl’s life.
Hi Patty.
A friend shared this story with me a while back and I thought it was brilliant. Thanks for the congrats wishes :-) I’m glad you’re inspired… go for it!
Hi Linda.
It does take a lot of effort to keep those pieces hidden. Somebody else might need them for parts of their puzzle… hm. :-) I see your WRITE IMPACT request. Consider yourself in the draw, Linda. Woot! Good luck. It would be great to have you in the workshop.
Liar, Liar, that was the movie, right?
Hi Dear Davina, I’m not sure I could fit another activity into life these days but it would make a fine gift for someone else, the seat in your story-writing course, that is.
Dark side, I love the analogy with her puzzle story. Shadows and light together make complete. I myself try to share more light than dark, as in the Land of Funster I seemed to get less readers when I veer from worry-free topics.
Speaking of that land, did you know You are Grand Winner in the last give-away? I hope you like lollipops? :)
xoxo
Jannie Funster´s last [type] ..Dear Mystery Person and cd winners announced
You got it, Jannie.
It was Liar, Liar. Hilarious movie :-) Just made the draw tonight and there are two lucky winners. The group is growing in size.
I like the light, too :) The dark has a way of showing up just add a few accents and keep everyone on their toes. Keeps things interesting.
Yes! I saw the pingback today. Yay! I know just who I will give that CD to. They’ll love it. Thanks, Jannie. I’ve been a little swamped so have not been around to any blogs for a couple of days. Plan to drop by in a day or so to comment my thanks :-) You have my address, correct? And… I do love lollipops.
Davina, this story has confirmed something. There are parts of me that I’ve been keeping in shadow for far too long, and those are the things that’ve been eating me up inside. I’d go into more detail, but my inclination is to keep it close to my chest and let it gnaw some more. I know. Dumb. I’m working on it. :P
As for your workshop… I dunno. I’m tempted. Hmmm…
Hi Tony.
Confirmation is a good thing, right? Maybe it’s just marinating… rather than gnawing… Focus on those good pieces you’ve already got going for you and let that stuff marinate. You’ll know when you’re ready to do a NEW puzzle. :)
Workshop…? That would be so cool.
Comments on this entry are closed.