Photographic memories.

This is a school photograph taken of myself when I was eight years old. I love this picture, and this little girl.

Julie at Random Meanderings has shared six things about herself and asked me to do the same. I usually avoid memes, but after reading hers, I was inspired to share too. Plus, it’s a lazy Sunday evening, I’m sipping a nice glass of rosé and so, what the heck. Cheers.

When I look at this photograph I feel like no time has passed since 1972. The dress I was wearing was red — I looked good in red and still do. My hair now? Short and greying. My weight? Well, we won’t discuss that.

A lot has changed, but a lot of things are still the same, and these are the core aspects of myself that I love. Unfortunately they are also the ones that I tend to take for granted or forget to appreciate. So, to remind myself, I have put this photo on my refrigerator. I see it when I’m coming and going from my apartment and when I’m busy working in the kitchen.

When I look at this photo I’m overcome with a feeling of wanting to take care of this little girl. She looks vulnerable. This photo helps to remind me to be compassionate with myself — that’s where it all has to start.

I have a heart of gold.

My mother always told me that I had a heart of gold. I still do. But as an adult, some days I seem to be sitting around waiting for a rainbow to find that pot of gold. Sometimes I give too much of myself, sometimes not enough. Staying balanced with this is important to my happiness and to others.

My challenge is to not be afraid to let my light shine. To speak my truth. I am reminded of some lines from that well-known Marianne Williamson passage: “…Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do….”

To speak your truth is to give others the permission to do the same. I have an innate desire for everyone to just be happy. Simple. Or is it? In this world I wonder if I’m being idealistic. But it all has to start with oneself…. right? I suspect that’s what has attracted me to life coaching.

I was a nature-lover.

I still am. I often reminisce about growing up on the farm: swinging in the apple orchard, riding horses, playing in the hayloft, climbing trees, feeding squirrels and rolling around on the freshly mowed lawn. Once I got stung by a bee doing this.

I haven’t lost my appreciation for nature. I’m always looking up to admire the sky, the clouds and the trees. I’d rather listen to the bird’s songs and the wind, than music on my cd player. Camping is one of my most favourite things to do in the summer.

I’m collecting memories: a great blue heron gliding swiftly through the mist that’s rising through the early morning rays of the sun, the distant hooting of owls at two am, leaves falling from the trees at two am, the mountains, the pounding rain, the wind. Oh, the wind.

I loved to dance.

I still do. In public school my sisters and I took jazz dancing lessons. I was in a couple of dance recitals. Although I was incredibly shy I loved being up on the stage performing with the rest of the class. There was just something about the energy of being together in a group and entertaining.

A few years ago I went to a live musical with a friend. The last number was a tap dance. There were at least 40 dancers on stage performing. The sound of the music, the rhythm of their tapping, their spectacular costumes and the expressions on their faces mesmerized me. The energy was so powerful that I was moved to tears.

A couple of years ago I took belly dancing and not long after that I tried swing and salsa. Unfortunately, my knees couldn’t stand up to my enthusiasm so I had to quit. But that doesn’t stop me from clowning around my apartment with a pretend microphone, listening to Tears for Fears or Dire Straits.

I loved to write.

I still do. When I turned 12 I started to write poetry. Here’s the first verse of a poem I wrote on July 19, 1978. It is called “Wonders of Nature”.

Have you ever admired the sunrise,
against the bright orange sky?
Or gently picked a dandelion,
or watched a butterfly?

Now, I blog. I’ve always had a fascination for expression with the written word, and I do much better getting my message out through writing than I do verbally. It doesn’t matter whether I’m proofreading, editing or writing for my blog, times passes very quickly. It gives me joy. There is so much to say….

I loved silence.

I still do. When I was in grade three, the same grade when this photo was taken, our teacher gave us a challenge — our class had been getting too noisy. She told us that whoever could be the quietest student over a certain period of time would win a prize. Guess who won?

Nothing has changed. I still prefer my alone time. I need it to recharge and refresh my mind. I’ve learned to accept that introversion is not a handicap and to realize that I prefer silence. I like listening to it. Now that’s an interesting contradiction isn’t it? Listening to silence.

I loved my grandmother.

I still do. She passed away in 1991 but it seems like yesterday. Margaret was many things to me. She was more than a grandmother. She was a second mother, an older sister and my best friend. We enjoyed silence together. We both liked to dance. We enjoyed nature.  We were both clowns and always kidded around with each other. She used to tell me, “I love you with big boxcar letters.”

Today I remember her fondly. There are days when I’m home working that I suddenly feel she has just walked into the room. I say hello to her and go about my business. We shared a special connection. We still do.

And so, those are six things about me — then and now. I hope you enjoyed my trip down memory lane. I sure did. Cheers.

I won’t tag anyone, but your stories are welcome in the comments section. The floor is all yours. Tell me something about yourself — then and now.

Thinking, thinking, one, two, three… ask!

“Curiosity lifts the corners of life.”

Julie from Random Meanderings

When you jump to conclusions you miss a lot. You lose opportunities to connect with people, and they with you. You lose a chance to connect with yourself.

Last year, during a life coach training workshop I was doing a practice exercise with one of my colleagues. We were talking about goals and dreams — you know, the usual stuff. We were standing in a corner of the room. A dozen or so other pairs were practicing the same exercise at the same time.

I was feeling self-conscious about asking the “right” questions — judging my performance and doubting my coaching abilities. I was focusing on myself instead of her.

This is described as Level One Thinking. In Level Two Thinking a coach is aware of the client and what they are saying.

In Level Three Thinking intuition encourages a stronger focus. The coach is not only aware of what the other person is saying. They are aware of the tone of their voice and the expression on their face. They notice posture and gestures. They tune into the whole experience. Observing these clues gives their subconscious mind the ability to connect at a deeper level. Questions flow naturally.

Through this connection the listening is magnified and the perspective is opened. The mind surrenders and both people can support the process in a stronger, more authentic way. Judgment gives way to curiosity. And curiosity opens the door to value.

My friend had used the metaphor of a bird’s nest to describe a feeling she had about a goal and how she was going to manifest it.

When she mentioned the bird’s nest I assumed that it was made of twigs. Simple, until I had a curious moment. I dared to be different and asked a silly question.

“What does this nest look like?”

She hadn’t even considered that. Even she had assumed it looked like a bird’s nest. We were both limiting ourselves with that assumption.

Asking that question opened her mind and took her deeper into the experience to explore her goal further. This helped her uncover more possibilities for herself.

As it turns out, the nest was made of soft, colourful blankets. I could feel her focus on the goal strengthen. Her enthusiasm increased as she described what the nest looked like. It was being revealed to both of us at the same time. We were both beyond Level Three Thinking. We were just being.

Your curiosity impacts others

During the busyness of our conversations, we do not often hear what each other is saying. We nod our heads. Share an understanding “yes” or “no”. But in turn, we are thinking about what our response will be. Or what their response will be. And most likely they are doing the same thing. It’s a dance.

This dance keeps us on the surface. It’s chocked full of assumptions. Imagine if we were to awaken our curiosity, how much deeper our connections could go. What more we could learn. How much we could add to each others lives.

We would feel seen and heard and encourage this in others. Society could benefit with simple curiosity. It would add more value to our lives.

A person never knows what they’re missing until they go there. And they can’t go there if they assume they are already there.

What about you? Can you recognize how curiosity could add more value to your life? On what level of thinking do you spend most of your time?

The quote used at the beginning of this article is one of Julie’s submissions to The Quote Effect. There is still time if you want to contribute. The deadline for submissions is January 31. Read more about The Quote Effect here and Contact me for a Submission Form.

This article is a contribution to Jeremy Day’s Group Writing Project on Creating Value. Do you want to participate? Get all the details over at Insight Writer where the tagline is “Freshly squeezed insight for better living”.

Photo from Reclusive Monkey on Flickr.com

Note: Due to a large number of spam comments I have turned comments off. I appreciate you stopping by and reading. You are welcome to contact me if you have any comments.

An authentic journey, but how authentic?

Yesterday I had a mystical and authentic journey, where I met my Higher Self.

We sat under a rainbow watching the sunset, and shared a joyous and inspiring meditation that awakened our inner wisdom to the spirit of abundance.

Doesn’t that sound glorious? Do you feel fulfilled? Are your senses sparkling with the brilliance of these words — this genuine vision?

Ok, enough already!

Sometimes I feel that if I see the words inspiration, abundance, authentic and awakening one more time I’ll throw up. Do you feel dizzy with all this personal development crap that you’ve been reading?

I do. Sometimes.

Still, I keep reading, and reading, and reading. Keep reading.

Spun out on the spiritual

I feel like a hamster in a wheel, spinning out of control.

Sometimes, instead of feeling more hopeful and spiritual, I feel smaller and lost in this huge ocean of supposedly positive ripples that I’m sending out to the universe. I’m caught in a perpetual wheel of self-discovery that spins me into a hole.

And what’s worse is that I write about it too! All the time. I’m addicted. Who am I? Really?

I pray that the wheel will stop spinning so that I can figure this out. But even when it does stop my world is still spinning around me. It’s better to go with the flow to stop the dizziness. Hold that thought.

Is there a self-help book for this?

If there was (and maybe there is, I haven’t Googled it), what would it be called? Certainly not “What Colour Is Your Parachute” or “The Power Of Now”.

How about What Colour Is Your Life Jacket, or The Power Of When.

I know I would read it. I would be better for reading it. I would have all the answers. Then, I would write about it.

I would share it with everyone. They would love me for it. I would be famous. I would be rich.

Write no list, make no plan, set no goals

This is your chance to take a much needed break from personal development.

Take some time to chew and swallow what you’ve read today. Digest it. Relax. Go play. Go sleep. Put that book down. Turn off your computer.

Give the spirit room to grow — time to find it’s rhythm. Let the dizziness subside. When our senses are awakened and not frozen, we can learn without turning it into a personal issue and without feeling a need for it.

Bless our hearts. We’re trying to absorb it all. Trying to be better. Trying to get somewhere.

Well, we’ve already arrived. We’re here. What else is there… but here?

We can’t do any more than we are doing. We’ve just forgotten to sit back and enjoy the view. To just notice. We don’t have to pick every flower. Sing every song. Climb every mountain. We can just sit. Just listen and observe. We’re all in this together, because of each other. And that makes us real.

If you weren’t focused on making yourself better what do you think you would be doing?

Photo credit: Seattle Roll’s Photostream on Flickr.com

This is not the typical ebook.

The Quote Effect was launched in December of 2008.

This is an invitation to bloggers to submit up to 3 of their favourite original quotes from their blogs, or write new ones. Read more here.

Photographers and artists are encouraged to submit some of their original work. I’d like to hear your suggestions for a cover design too.

I will compile submissions into an ebook. The deadline for submissions is January 31.

There will be no affiliate links in this first edition. This is strictly for bloggers to promote their blogs and share their unique personalities through their writing and creative expression.

We want the hilarious, the sarcastic, the thinkers, the doers, the writers, the serious, the health nuts.

If you have already left a comment with me to say “count me in” I will be emailing you a submission form to make this easy for you.

If this is the first you’ve heard of this project, please contact me to let me know of your interest and I will email you the submission form. Choose The Quote Effect as the subject.

Quotes have impact.

They widen our perspective and tickle our creative awareness. They quiet our mind and invite us to read more.

Bloggers use quotes to illustrate a point and catch the reader’s attention. They make us laugh, roll our eyes – our thoughts drift away or come awake.

They add that personal, authentic touch, and whether you blog for a hobby or for business, authenticity speaks volumes. It attracts attention.

When are you being authentic? What might be hidden in your archives or on your welcome page? What about the comment section in your blog or comments you’ve left on other blogs. Fellow bloggers are sharing a wealth of gold in these sections of their blogs too.

Let them know they’ve inspired you and invite them to share some of their quotes in this collection. Tell them all about it.

Submissions are starting to arrive already and I will be featuring a new one each week during the month of January.

I have received this first one from Miguel de Luis at Wisdom & Life.

“Generosity is of the brave.”

Thanks Miguel!

Unless otherwise noted, all images are used with permission from Dreamstime.com. Illegal use and download is not allowed.