“We hide from ‘painful’ feelings; embarrassed. If you’re an artist, a writer, a dancer, etc., express the ‘sad’. It could be your best work.”

Write the sad; right the sad

Been feeling sad lately. Well, sort of…

Denying the sadness, actually. Closing the door on it. What I’ve realized is that by closing the door I’ve locked myself in with it.

Shutting the feelings down brought me down with them. Why do we fear this place? I’ve recognized how it’s not a place I appreciate and from what I’ve seen, neither do most others when they feel it in themselves.

But man, is there a richness there when you don’t pretend it doesn’t exist. Going there is to embrace all of you in that space; to love ALL of you. Standing and reaching tall.

Live and learn; learn to live

The feelings are much larger than a child; much larger than an adult. They don’t go unwitnessed, whether you give them audience or not. They are there and you know it. Others do too, on a subtle level, and their interactions with you are coloured because of it.

It filters your perspective of others and your relations with others. Your relations with yourself. Your creativity. Being in this place is about connecting with the emotions; the elements of yourself; your nature.

The wind and fire of rage. The delicate dewdrop tears. Surrendering to the shaping of life. Standing in one’s own spotlight; self-assured.

Exploring it with heart opens the door and lets the world in. Feeling it allows you to be at home with yourself and others to be at home with you.

Life coaches tend to say that when you’re feeling low or angry it’s because you’re choosing to feel that way. I’m going take it a step farther and say that it’s because you’re choosing to NOT feel that way. You’re resisting what is there.

While on my blogging break, I’ve joined a Summer Writing Space to explore new aspects of writing and to coach my own creative space. More accurately, it’s been coaching me.

Recently, I responded to a prompt from Joanna at the Summer Writing Space to write a piece where every new line began with “I am from”. I used that prompt to give the feelings somewhere to land.

Emotions, passion and creativity are family. Don’t be afraid to feel. There are riches in these places and they are a part of your evolution. They are offering you a gift that just needs to be unwrapped. You might be surprised at what you find.

How far are you willing to reach?

Where I’m from is Elementary

I am from nothing;
do I exist?

I am from one dream; vivid…
blew in on funnel clouds,
raging, storming and swirling with life energy,
heavenly fingers pointing down from above.

I am from the embers,
glowing crimson under indigo skies,
smoldering, sparking, and
too hot to touch.

I am from a dewdrop,
tiny, delicate and glistening,
resting on the faraway tip of a quivering leaf,
paused, poised and ready to leap.

I am from frost,
out on a limb,
tinkling in the icy breath of a white April morn.

I am from the drama
that birthed me
and took me to audience;
where I waited, breathing;
no witness, no applause, no judgment.

I am from the blue clay of Terminal Creek, sculpted;
a vase styled, curvy and shaped,
a woman holding a space
to be filled.

I am from the flight of ladybug,
searching for home,
just ahead of a dream,
that blew in on funnel clouds.

How do you bring voice to your emotions?
What structure invites your creativity?
What stops you and why?
What are you waiting for?

If you care to explore your creative process, reach for your write impact.

My blogging activities may have paused, but business is still on.

Photo credits:
The picture of myself was taken by my friend, Jim.
Dewdrop is from Flickr.com by Lord V

The company you keep

This is an unscheduled post. I’m breaking my ‘rule’ and posting on an off day. Not to mention, this is not technically a Muse post in keeping with the May theme here.

On the other hand, does the Muse require a label or a reason… or simply, just an outlet?

Tonight I was munching on my dinner and felt guided to pick up an old binder. This was a binder that I hadn’t flipped through in over a year.

I leafed through a few pages before one spoke to me and I began to read.

It wasn’t long before I was feeling moved by what I was reading. So, I wanted to share it with you all to see what you think.

See how it moves you; what opens up. Or, what you are afraid of opening up to… :-)

Maybe you’ll even be inspired to write or paint something.

Enjoy.

The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for, and if you
dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to
know if you will risk looking like a fool for love,
for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring
your moon. I want to know if you have touched
the center of your own sorrow, if you have been
opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled
and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know
if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without
moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it. I want to know
if you can be with JOY, mine or your own; if you
can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill
you to the tips of your fingers and toes without
cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to
remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling
me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint
another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the
accusation of betrayal and not betray your own
soul. I want to know if you can be faithful and
therefore be trustworthy. I want to know if you can see
beauty even when it is not pretty everyday, and if
you can source your life on the edge of the lake
and shout the silver of the full moon.

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how
much money you have. I want to know if you can
get up after a night of grief and despair, weary and
bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done
for the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came
to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center
of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied. I want to know what sustains you
from the inside when all else falls away. I want to
know if you can be alone with yourself and if you
truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

Oriah

Comments?
Any particular line speak to you?

Photo: View at Lighthouse Park in West Vancouver by Davina Haisell

The Empathic, Naked Soul

This morning I was overwhelmed by sadness, and for no apparent reason. I was curious because nothing was “wrong”, yet I still felt like having a good cry.

So, I let a few tears wet my cheeks, all the while wondering, “What is this feeling?” “Where has it come from?” “Why now?” The answer that came to me was this:

“You continue to evolve and grow. You have arrived at a new phase in your life, while having outgrown your old belief system. You don’t recognize who you are yet.

Everything is new and unfamiliar. Your reflection in the mirror is the same, yet something is different and you can’t quite put your finger on it.

You are mourning those parts of yourself that you have allowed to dissolve. They have simply fallen away effortlessly, and your ego’s bubble has been burst. It has no reference points.

You feel homesick for those lost parts of yourself. No matter how painful or uncomfortable they may have been, they were familiar. Your soul is now naked, the slate wiped clean, ready to start anew. You are looking for something familiar, some comfort to help you settle in. Just remember.”

Remembering the Innocence

I looked into that imaginary crystal ball, and travelled back to a place of innocence. Another place of unfolding and growth. A place of allowing, even though I wasn’t aware of it then. It was happening despite the choices I made.

I was delighted by what I remembered and bathed in this melancholy, feeling refreshed and more alive. The heaviness turned to curiosity, which in turn led me on an adventure. When I was finished, I felt home again in this new place — remembering me.

Just for fun, here are some of the things I remembered:

Watching the Waltons on Sunday evenings.
Drinking coffee with Coffee-mate — yuck!
Gathering snowy pieces of wood from the woodpile for our fireplace.
Eating Cream of Wheat cereal with lots of brown sugar.
Making onion sandwiches with white Wonder Bread and mayonnaise — yum!
Picking raspberries with my sisters down the lane.
Playing KerPlunk and Snakes and Ladders on a rainy afternoon.
Watching my grandmother wash her face with Noxzema.
The sound of popcorn being made in the kitchen.
Wagon Wheels and bologna sandwiches for lunch.
Freshly washed sheets hanging on the clothesline, frozen in the wintery breeze.
Watching my mother’s silhouette in the moonlight while she tucked me in.
My aching calves during haying season.
Wearing bell-bottoms and bangs.
Watching autumn leaves chase the school bus while it meandered along the winding roads towards school.
The sound of the frogs and crickets at night.
Resting on dirty bended knees, and smiling while watching tadpoles wiggle around in mud puddles.
Climbing a tree, barefoot and feeling safely hidden by its whispering leaves.
Laying on in the cool green grass, watching wispy clouds sail across the sky.

Melancholy is Becoming You

Memories and melancholy danced in my thoughts. Instead of avoiding my sadness, instead of running from it or pretending it didn’t exist I played in the sandbox. The sands of time if you may, brought me home.

I remembered pieces of my childhood, memories that brought me validation of having “been somewhere”. Memories that honoured my innocence. I felt on the brink of something new.

There is humility in allowing and witnessing the unfolding of yourself. There is courage and comfort in stepping outside of yourself to take an admiring glance at how far you’ve come. Remember?

We’re constantly growing even when we’re not aware of it. When the unknown, or unfamiliar may feel a little overwhelming, turn around and see from where you’ve come. See your footprints. You are on a path.

Go ahead, pat yourself on the back. Look at how far you have come. And wonder what is ahead. Be curious. There is courage in not always knowing where you are headed. Encourage the unfolding; trust it.

Loving who you were will ignite inspiration to move you forward into the unknown. It will connect you with a space in time where you loved who you were; when you loved where you were. Love where you are now because someday you will look back upon this time and this memory for sustenance.

What memories do you have that make you feel whole in your life now?

What gives you that boost to keep going when you feel a little lost or overwhelmed at the newness you’ve discovered in yourself?

What new memories have you made today?

Photo credit: Morning Glory

Life is not always fair

Sometimes we are taken advantage of. Sometimes we do all the right things, but still lose. Sometimes we act cautiously and end up getting hurt anyway.

Why do the perceived innocent suffer? Because the ego steps in to save FACE with Fear, Attachment, Control and Entitlement.

These four motives are what cause our suffering in the first place. The upkeep of the ego demands tremendous energy. While we are distracted by it and serving it, we are denying ourselves. Keeping our cool separates us from the reality of what is happening. It freezes our aliveness.

Mindful connections

When we are being mindful we are revealing our true nature. We are distinct beings, yet our ego can easily convince us this is all we are. But we are more than that — we are interconnected with each other.

We help one another and ourselves through empathic presence: listening to each others’ “story” with the five A’s — attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection and allowing. We allow ourselves to be present with what IS without adding or editing or resisting.

“… when a feeling state or an immediate experience is granted a hearing in full safety, something wonderfully opening happens. A shift occurs automatically. Once someone experiences a self-validating moment to the full, an inner permission to let go and move on is granted from deep in the psyche. Bearings are gained when the pilot has an honest view of where the ship is, no matter how lost or off course. …Anything but Yes is a handicap.” — David Richo

Yes is a mindful reply to unfairness

Through empathic presence we experience an unconditional Yes, the key to moving beyond the ego, beyond victimhood. Embracing curiosity keeps us present in what IS rather than rejecting it for our preferred version.

Feeling empathy will help us to experience our reality beyond the illusion we have created. We’ll find that the outcome is never as severe as the illusions we create. As Govinda, Hundu sage says, “We are transformed by what we accept.”

You can also embrace mindfulness with your breath by practicing this affirmation from the Breathe Easy Deck that was published earlier this week.

“I breathe in the realization that I am not my name, nor what I do for a living. I am filled with the knowledge that I am a soul traveling onward. I breathe out the illusion of being separate from All-There-Is.”

This is the final post in this Positively Breathing series. I hope you have enjoyed the journey.

The above material has been adapted and expanded on from David Richo’s The Five Things We Cannot Change… and the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them.

No questions this time. Just keep breathing — positively!

Feel free to share your comments though. Let’s dance…

Photo Credit: Saital