Beyond our control

On the night of October 13, 1937, a high school girl named Doris Van Kappelhoff was involved in a serious car accident. Her injuries curtailed her plans to go to Hollywood to become a dancer.

While recuperating, Doris practiced singing along with female vocalists on the radio. Her perseverance and training paid off when she was hired to sing in a band and soon after, she found parts in movies. Eventually, she changed her name to Doris Day.

This tragic event altered her original plans, leading her in another direction where she found her true calling. I wonder now, putting all obvious discomfort aside, how “tragic” this event really was. Although life does not always go according to our plans, it doesn’t have to leave us feeling crestfallen either.

Doris was committed to dealing with what happened — she made the best of it. Living with life’s conditions in an allowing way is a healthy, mature perspective.

The nature of humility

Things do not always go according to plan. This evokes the archetype of synchronicity and meaningful coincidences. Because our ego insists that things always go our way, we might initially react to disappointment with defiance — fear and desire, debate and blame.

This is in resistance to conditions as they are, and causes suffering. Allowing things to unfold as they will takes humble surrender. This is where nature meets us — humility makes us closer to the earth. The word humility comes from the word humus and goes beyond mere modesty.

Humility is the virtue that helps us when we feel in a state of powerlessness — it tunes our awareness to our reality.

“Nothing is ever complete or finished. Everything is a work in progress, especially ourself.”
- David Richo

Breathe Easy — I am floating

We make plans, generally expecting to be in control of what will happen. However, we are challenged by life’s “mind of its own” and have to learn to let go of having things come out our way.

We act with precision, commitment and self-discipline, expecting life to reward us for our efforts. Yet, discipline and perfect control is the best way to miss out on the joy of life.

If you’ve been working with Affirmation 2 (below) this week, you’ve already been practicing letting go of your attachment to outcomes. Again, it’s all about going with the flow.

“I breathe in the stillness that quiets my worries and the pressures of time. I am filled with the certainty that I will act correctly when the time is right. I breathe out my attachment to outcomes.”

*With the exception of the above affirmation, this material has been adapted and expanded on from David Richo’s The Five Things We Cannot Change… and the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them — available from the Amazon link in the sidebar.

On Sunday, Affirmation 3 will be published from the Breathe Easy Deck and the Enchanted World of Amy Zerner and Monte Farber.

The topic for Affirmation 3 is Reflection.

Has life ever dealt you a new hand that lead you in a completely different direction? Looking back now, can you see how this altered your life?

How flexible are you with your plans?

Do you notice coincidences? How have they played out in your life?

Photo Credit: Clairity