Forget Everything You Think You Know About Personal Development

This Moment In Time Is When

After repeated attempts at writing daily over the last couple of weeks, I’ve come up empty.

Short of my last post that was a revised version of a 15-year-old journal entry, I have nothing to write about.

So, I’m gonna just sit here for a while and remember what writing feels like.

I remember that thrill I feel when the words flow and the expressions illustrate the magic that is as surreal as sitting under a starry sky.

When the mind, body and spirit become part of something much larger than just I.

When a shiver trickles across my chest and down my arms, yet I feel warmth.

When the grass is covered with dew, the ground is damp and the night air is crisp on my cheeks, yet I feel comfortable.

When it feels like the Earth has stopped spinning and time is standing still.

When it feels like my breath is breathing me; not the other way around.

When fireflies flicker through the mist in a rhythmic, pulsing dance of courtship.

When I listen to the chirping of the frogs and crickets and don’t have to understand.

When my eyes scan the indigo sky for a glimpse of a shooting star, hanging on every second.

When I don’t feel separate from more than just I.

When I wish this moment in time would last forever.

Because, dammit… this slump, this writer’s block, this whatever it is… is one moment that I don’t want to last forever!

Photo Credit: The Only Anla

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Looking from the Dark Side

Captured by mystic voices that speak in a foreign tongue.

I tune in and then tune out because I can’t understand.

Feel small and helpless, like I’m sitting on the moon looking back at Earth.

Resting far from home in this desolate place. Cold and dark. Alone.

So far away, there is no reason to reach out. To do so would be pointless.

Silence surrenders to muffled voices. Can’t escape them because they are mine.

I tune in and then tune out because I can’t understand.

The ground beneath me is hard, sandy and foreign. The winds are silent.

Wonder how I got to this place and dimly recall a journey. Seems a long time ago; another lifetime. Was that even me?

I remember moving forward through a fog only to open my eyes here. Why wasn’t I watching? How did I get lost?

The Earth is a small, beautiful blue green ball, beckoning from the dark expanse of space. Glowing.

How is it that I’ve come so far from home? I stretch an arm out towards Earth but know she is out of reach.

The sight of her sends a shiver across my chest and down my arms. I feel a mysterious, yet familiar warmth.

What a beautiful view. Think I’ll stay for a while.

Photo Credit: Dictybloke

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“My blog was hacked” is a popular search

How confident are you that your blog is protected from being hacked? Most people don’t stop to think that this is something that could happen to them.

“If you’re lucky, you’re reading this before having your site hacked. If you’re even luckier, the tips in this ebook will help prevent you from ever getting hacked….” John Hoff from Wp Blog Host

After I read WordPress Defender, I realized that anyone can be hacked. It’s not about your prominence online or how successful your website or blog is.

I also realized the implication of being hacked. Not only are people who visit your site after it’s been hacked at risk, but your ranking on Google can be compromised if your site is down for an extended period of maintenance. This can result in lost revenue.

Why do people hack WordPress blogs?

There are a number of reasons listed in this ebook but here are just a few:

1. Because it’s there
2. For the thrill
3. It’s a challenge

Not necessarily motives I would have considered, but they pretty much apply to anyone.

Hackers will attack your blog to create countless numbers of backlinks to their spam websites; backlinks that in turn can help their own site’s search engine placement.

As noted in this ebook, each new WordPress install is basically the same. This means that intruders can easily identify your blog’s sensitive areas and apply various techniques to hack your system.

30 ways to secure your blog

In WordPress Defender, John Hoff lists 30 ways you can protect your blog against attack. I asked him if there were a smaller number of action steps he would recommend bloggers start with. The short answer is no.

However, John did come up with one answer:

“Securing WordPress comes down to 2 important things: awareness and preparation.”

He went on to recommend that you start off with these 3 steps:

1. Create a regular backup of your blog that also includes your database.
2. Set up an intrusion system so you will be alerted if someone has hacked into your blog.
3. Stop procrastinating and learn how you can protect your blog from attack.

Secure your blog with WordPress Defender

John Hoff at Wp Blog Host has put together this 150-page ebook packed full of step-by-step instructions with the intention of making blog security easier for you.

He has a knack for explaining what he knows so well, in terms that newbies and those less technologically aware can understand.

Here is what WordPress Defender offers:

1. Step-by-step instructions for 30 strategies to protect your WordPress blog.
2. Handy screen shot diagrams that illustrate the steps you need to take.
3. 14 bonus videos that will walk you through the security setups.

My favourite thing about this book is its personality — John’s personality — his wit, and the obvious care he has taken to make sure that you will understand how to apply the information.

WordPress Defender costs $39.00 and is available for $19.99 until Wednesday, March 3rd.

That’s almost a 50% discount.

Having this book is like having your own personal teacher sitting beside you to guide you through the steps.

Click here to view more details

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I feel pretty, oh so pretty

In this picture I was more than 20 years younger than I am today. It was taken by a professional photographer and is one of my favourites; if you don’t count the big dorky earrings and the boy’s haircut :-D I like my smile and my eyes, and purple is my favourite colour.

Some days I don’t feel so pretty. While I’ve never considered myself to be overly attractive, I do have my good days. You know the ones I’m talking about right ladies?

Those days where your hair falls into place perfectly, your eyes have a child-like, mischievous twinkle and the sun just happens to light up your good side.

This particular day that I’m writing about was one of those days where I didn’t feel pretty. Because I was meeting a friend for coffee I decided to put on a little makeup (cause you never know who you might meet).

I walked into the shop to save a table, settling comfortably in the corner to wait. A few heads turned to “check me out” and I felt like turning around to see which woman these men were looking at. But because I knew there was just a wall behind me, I had to accept that they were looking at me. Moi?

Gee, perhaps I looked better than I thought. On this day the sun was shining, it was Friday and I was looking forward to reconnecting with my friend.

We had a fantastic visit full of great conversation and lots of laughs. She has a hearty laugh that makes a person feel satisfied when she’s laughing at their jokes. I was in a playful mood; sarcastic and lighthearted and I had a lot of funny things to say. I felt comfortable being out.

As I walked back to my apartment, I noticed two other men “checking me out”.  I reflected on this freak of nature… this fleeting moment that one generally feels when they see a shooting star.

Model yourself

What was different about me today? I realized that I felt happy and energized. I felt open and playful — spirited.

That reminded me that beauty really is in the eye of the beholder and that it does come from within. Cause certainly when I looked in the mirror I didn’t see Canada’s Next Top Model staring back at me. Those men clearly saw something else… something I take for granted. Me.

So next time you are feeling low or self-critical, don’t forget about how you present yourself and how open you are to people. Physical beauty is over-rated. I can’t say that I’m any different; I notice attractive men all the time — it’s natural.

But when all is said and done, what is most important is how much of you is present. When you are not trying to be somebody, more of you can show up. You stop filtering and calculating the right things to say and do.

How do you carry yourself? Do you walk with your head down, slouched posture, have a tense jaw? One of the most attractive things about a woman is the way she carries herself. That is something I’ve become quite conscious of lately.

A lady doesn’t have to be a model to walk like one. I remind myself to walk tall, to be relaxed and to make eye contact with people.

When you stop making it all about you… (because that is usually when you put on the mask), others can see you better.

It also helps when you get a professional photographer to take your picture :-D Something I plan on doing in the very near future.

I have to admit that I’m still overly critical of my personal appearance, but days like this have helped me to be less so.

What about you?

How do you present yourself to the world?

How critical of yourself are you?

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The power of the words

When I was in grade 6 my friend Colleen and I pretended we were romance novelists. We let our imaginations run wild; wrote some pretty sappy stuff and had loads of fun doing it.

It was easy to get carried away even beyond the story itself; carried away with just the flavour of the words and by creating twists in the story.

I find that sometimes in creative moments, the words carry the story forward when there was no story idea. One word plays upon the other and the story unfolds from there.

Last night, I was goofing around on Twitter in an attempt to get past some writer’s block. Two tweets later I had come up with the following:

Velvety silence blanketed her naked silhouette as she lay sleeping, kissed by the luminescent aura of warm summer breezes.

Shadows, eclipsed by flickering moonlight, nuzzled softly upon her waiting lips. Soon.

If you were going to finish this what would you write?

You could start just by playing with a few words and follow their lead. How do they fit together?

Use your imagination. This “she” could be anywhere and doesn’t necessarily have to be human. The ending could be something completely out of the ordinary.

What happens next?

NOTE: If you write this in another program, such as Microsoft Word, please don’t cut and paste what you have written onto my blog. Either retype it into the comment box, or use a text editor such as Notepad to strip out any formatting.

Try to keep it to a few short sentences as if you were tweeting the story to your followers, say… a couple of tweets worth 140 characters.

Photo Credit: Mike Baird

PS. I ended this sensual moment with one last tweet:

Suddenly… the light was flicked on and a male ballerina danced over to her, wearing lovely cream-coloured tights.

This is dedicated to my Twitter pal Allison Day who writes a sushi food blog. Check out her blog for some fantastic recipes. Oh, she also knows a thing or two about ballet.

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Why I Became a Life Coach

This is why I became a life coach: because people are knobs and I like turning knobs. Before you take offense at this perceived judgment of mine, just bear with me. Let me explain.

“I like turning knobs” is the most bottom line statement I could come up with. It’s a perfect metaphor too. At first I thought it was because I like to help people and I’m a good listener. That’s only part of it.

I have an insatiable appetite to try to figure things out and life coaching provides endless opportunities to figure things out. But it’s not the life coach who does the figuring; it’s the client. It’s not the life coach who has all the answers; it’s the client. Only the client knows what is best for the client.

The life coach holds the space for the process to unfold and for the answers to be heard. Turning the knobs adjusts the tuning; it turns the volume up or down; it clears the static out of the way. Turning the knob creates the space and amplifies the listening.

The bottom line is that it’s about the process itself. It’s beyond getting answers or achieving goals; they are the byproduct of the process.

We are intelligent enough creatures with the resources to achieve our goals. We don’t need to be fixed. A lot of people come to coaching believing there is something “wrong” with them.

We can collect answers, build skills, practice communication and heal old wounds through choosing new perspectives. But in all honesty I’ve begun to see life coaching as entertainment. Seriously. Simply.

I believe that when we are entertained we are engaged. The trying stops. The fear of failure or even success, for that matter, stops. I never know what is going to be revealed in a coaching session. The spontaneity is the entertainment. It’s brilliant. We’re brilliant!

When we are entertained we are fully present in the listening. When that happens the barriers come down. We become more like children; experimenting, curious, playful… learning; not achieving. Learning.

Life Coaching for the Big Kidz

Children are pretty good at entertaining themselves. As most parents will agree, they are highly curious and eager to learn. But as we grow into adulthood we lose this way of being.

I’ve been working with a new process of life coaching where I encourage clients to work with metaphors. It is called Symbolic Modelling.

I love it! It is like a game where both coach and client are playing off each other. Only difference is that it’s not about winning or losing. It’s about the experience. That’s what life is anyway… experience.

Metaphors are the pictures that are worth a thousand words. Tiny packages that are chocked full of wisdom. Wisdom that is revealed to us as we go through the process.

During a Symbolic Modelling session I will repeat your words back to you in the exact manner you speak them, followed by a question. Repeating your words back to you lets you know you’ve been heard. As you hear the words reflected back to you, the knob turns. You begin to adjust your channel.

You receive prompts from within yourself. It’s like an artist doing a painting or a writer writing a book. They have something they want to express; something inside that needs to be let out. Through the process of symbolic modelling, information is revealed, packed in the form of metaphors; pictures that tell a story.

During Symbolic Modelling clients actually sit back and watch the pictures being revealed to them. They don’t have to try. It just happens. And in that allowing of the process to unfold is where the information is revealed. It’s where you step into your process; your movie.

It doesn’t happen overnight. It happens gradually; in a way that we can grow with it and not control it. Like we are captured by a good movie or a good book. You’ll notice that the process continues between coaching sessions as you find yourself more open and engaged in your thoughts.

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.”

—Ralph Waldo Emerson

Special Promotion

Starting on March 1st my goal is to accumulate 100 hours of coaching using Symbolic Modelling. The first 25 hours will be free of charge. The next 25 hours will be at a reduced rate and so on in groups of 25 hours, until the quota of 100 hours has been reached.

After 100 hours of coaching, regular rates will apply. Visit Crimson Compass for more information on rates and packages. Long distance phone charges must be paid by the client.

The first 25 hours are on a first come, first served basis and cannot be booked as a package. Only one session can be booked at a time and each client can book a maximum of three free sessions over the period of one month. Contact Davina if you are interested.

I hope you’re ready to be entertained; to hear your story. You are after all, the star :-D

Photo Credit: Klaireebearr

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Movie critics? Bah!

I saw the movie Year One in the theatre for the first time in May of 2009 and have since watched it about a dozen times on DVD.

Until now, I had not taken note of critics’ reviews, but today I happened to read on Wikipedia that Rotten Tomatoes wrote, “Year One is a poorly executed, slapdash comedy in which the talent both in front of and behind the camera never seem to be on the same page.”

And also on Wikipedia, “Claudia Puig of USA Today gave the film 2/4 stars complaining that the film is scattershot and silly, squandering its potential by relying on juvenile bawdy humor.”

I’m no expert on making movies, but I do know what I like and I’m glad I saw the movie without having read or heard any reviews. In my opinion, the juvenile bawdy humour WAS the movie.

“Zed (Jack Black) and Oh (Michael Cera) are cavemen who stumble out of the mountains into an epic journey of biblical proportions. One’s a bumbling hunter, the other’s a gentle gatherer; together, they become unlikely participants in history’s most pivotal moments…. Year One is rude, crude, wildly absurd, deliciously tasteless and laugh-out-loud funny!” Sony Pictures

This bears repeating:

“…rude, crude, wildly absurd, deliciously tasteless and laugh-out-loud funny.”

Seriously silly

What appeals to me about Year One IS the tasteless, laugh-out-loud funny and juvenile bawdy humour. I don’t care if the movie doesn’t measure up to the critic’s standards.

Year One makes my movie top-ten list (maybe even top 5); sharing the list with The Devil Wears Prada, The Fugitive, What About Bob?, A Fish Called Wanda, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, The Family Stone, Planes Trains & Automobiles, Double Jeopardy and most recently, It’s Complicated.

I’m a serious soul. I’m a silly soul. And, I take silly seriously; more so, the older I get.

I come across to most people as quiet, reserved and shy; some label me as “spiritually minded”. Quite honestly, the whole spirituality scene has become way too intense for me; almost cultish. It’s like everyone is holding their breath. Nobody fart and God help us if someone does.

I watch myself sometimes when I put on the spiritual mask; that’s what it’s become like lately; a mask. It’s like I’m waiting for “something”. Where IS the magic? Why do I need THE magic?

My most enlightening and alive moments are not when I’m doing yoga or meditating. They are when I’m laughing. And I’m talking about the loud, side-splitting laughter that has tears spilling down your cheeks. Those are my most pivotal moments.

I’ve never been a person to make a decision to see or not see a movie based on what the critics say.

What about you?

What are your tastes in movies?

Photo credit: Ellie

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What’s in it for you?

“…no matter what you think of narcissists, they are the ultimate revealers of our own weaknesses and insecurities. It may not seem like it, but once we learn more and can handle their destructive tendencies better, we become stronger…”

This quote from The Narcissist: A User’s Guide is why I believe this is a book that will raise the bar on personal development for its readers.

Written by Lori Hoeck from Think Like a Black Belt and Betsy Wuebker from Passing Thru, it is an engaging read that gives the reader a detailed look into the character of narcissists and how to negate their influence.

This book is FREE. Lori and Betsy have done a tremendous job putting this together and with support from Sirius Graphix for the layout and design, it is a pleasure to read.

The narcissist exposed

After reading the strikingly candid personal accounts, the reader will learn to recognize what sets a narcissist apart from other people: a lack of empathy. To a narcissist, you are an extension of themselves.

This book is an eye-opening journey into the world of the narcissist, providing tips and strategies to recognize and deal with their manipulative tricks and emotional hijacking.

Lori and Betsy note that friends who sap your energy, family members who criticize and argue with you endlessly, or people who are emotionally demanding and unable to reciprocate are demonstrating narcissism.

A narcissist develops a false self to compensate for being wounded and scarred early in life. They view themselves as inferior and this false self is their “dysfunctional survival skill.”

This identity is vulnerable because it is false. To sustain it a narcissist becomes an expert at manipulating others to establish superiority.

They are experts at creating different personae to protect their image; a perpetuating cycle as a victim’s self-esteem suffers and the narcissist’s is empowered.

Awareness is a defence against narcissism*

This book increases the awareness of narcissism and in my opinion, that is the first step in dealing with it.

The Narcissist: A User’s Guide will show you:

• How to identify a narcissist
• Why they are so hard to deal with
• How to set boundaries
• When it’s time to leave
• Why some people seem immune to narcissists
• Plus, it provides additional resources and reading material

Who or what are you enabling?

Why do people stay in a relationship with a narcissist? Because there is something in it for them. They may have low self-esteem or have learned to cope with the perpetual cycle of drama. There is fear and denial.

“It’s easy to fall in love with what could be, as opposed to what is … but wanting something to be can mask what is.”

There is also familiarity. The narcissist wears a false persona and so does the victim. There is a false sense of security in the victim’s familiarity, and in the hope that one day things might change. Either way, each person is enabling the other to continue with the pattern.

Click to download your FREE copy.

Awareness is the first step and since the narcissist is blindly aware of their plight and you are not, you have the power. It’s up to you to make the choice. Will you fight against them or for yourself?

If you are involved with this type of person, The Narcissist: A User’s Guide is a key to becoming more aware; a key to opening the door to free yourself.

At the end of the day, this book is not about the narcissist; it’s about you living your life free from the influence of narcissism.

That’s what’s in it for you.

Further Reading

The Narcissist: A User’s Guide is Live, by Betsy Wuebker
Are You Ready to Free Yourself from Narcissists? by Lori Hoeck

*NOTE: Narcissistic personality disorder is relatively rare. According to Wikipedia “Lifetime prevalence is estimated at 1% in the general population and 2% to 16% in clinical populations.”

I don’t represent myself as an expert in narcissistic personality disorder, but I believe that a narcissist is less likely to change their behaviour despite all good intentions on the part of the other person. Whether a person is clinically diagnosed with narcissism or not, the bottom line is for each person to take responsibility for their actions and for the perceived “victim” to make the decision to stay in the relationship, or to leave.

It is my opinion that despite the rarity of narcissistic personality disorder, people can be quick to attach labels, judge behaviour and place the blame elsewhere. This book has increased awareness of the abusive and manipulative tendencies that a larger percentage of the population exhibit, even beyond narcissism. Being aware of the role we play in any relationship is imperative to co-existing with each other in a healthy manner.

Cover images & book design: Sirius Graphix
Sand sculpture photo: Davina Haisell

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My mindless indulgence

It’s Saturday and there’s no specific agenda.

Slept in. Languished over a late breakfast of bacon, eggs and fried mashed potatoes, with a good cup of coffee.

Ate breakfast AWAY from the computer after managing to comment on two whole blogs; a drop in the bucket compared to what waits in the Reader.

Did two loads of laundry. Appreciate having clean towels and sheets. Sliding between the sheets tonight will be sweet.

Unclogged the drain of the bathroom sink… again!

Mindlessly tidied up the apartment. Rotated the cushions on the couch. Shook blankets and rugs off the balcony. Swept the balcony.

Methodically swept the apartment floors; all the corners; under the couch; in the closet. I like my apartment.

Turned the radio on real loud for a while to block the noise of the upstairs neighbour’s vacuum cleaner. Damn them!

Returned the two movies watched last night: The Girl in the Park and My Effortless Brilliance. Both movies thoroughly enjoyed.

Returned two empty milk bottles to IGA. For the first time ever, made conversation with the guy in charge of recycling.

Asked him how he was. Our eyes met and locked for a few seconds. I knew he appreciated our chat; even if it was about nothing in particular.

Returned empty wine bottles and received a new loony for the laundry fund.

Took a walk to my bank and cashed in $25 worth of coins from the piggy bank. That piggy bank is over 20 years old.

Made a joke to the lady in line behind me at the bank. We exchanged an understanding smile about having to wait in line, though neither one of us seemed particularly annoyed.

Left the bank and walked to Ed’s Linens to buy a new set of pillow covers. Not too exciting. Great — they’re having a 60% off sale! That’s kind of exciting.

Under a rainbow

Contemplated having a coffee at Tim Horton’s on the way home, but chose to leave the noise of the traffic on West Broadway. I’d make myself a coffee at home and enjoy it in the privacy of my clean and quiet apartment.

Headed to a side street. Good choice; there was a rainbow in the northern sky towards the mountains. I would have missed it otherwise. It was brilliant. Hung in the sky effortlessly. Living colour. Going nowhere in particular.

I love how sometimes Mother Nature paints a symmetrical picture to a moment in life.

Stopped at the grocery store to buy a bag of Hawkins Cheezies and munched them on the rest of the way home.

A beautiful black cat met me on the sidewalk and approached for a friendly petting session. He left my side in a hurry with some orange cheezie crumbs on his head. A treat for his paw washing later on.

Arrived home late afternoon feeling strangely and noticeably relaxed. More relaxed than I’d felt in weeks.

Thought about why that was…

Simple: Had spent the day not thinking and trying to analyze everything. Not engaged in trying to fill in awkward space in my life.

I got a heck of a lot of random errands done without even trying. Things just fell into place.

Even better? This was solitude, well lived and appreciated.

Solitude is something easily lost in this busy world. I found it in the middle of the city.

Plans for tonight? This Saturday night?

A little Twitter. A little blog reading.

A lot of coach potato.

Tomorrow? Who knows.

So relaxed.

Sigh…

Photo credit: Nicholas_T

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Stillness moves me

When I see a scene like this I’m silenced.

My gaze is frozen. My soul is not.

Imagine.

Standing still. Listening.

Hearing the ice on the tree branches crackle.

Hearing your breath. Seeing your breath.

You can almost hear the sound of the sunlight sparkling across the snow.

Icy voices of wintry breezes whisper in your ears.

Frosty fingers play with your hair.

Caress your lips.

The cold pinches your cheeks.

You’re awake. Refreshed.

Alive.

If you go seeking for yourself, you could seek forever.

Stop.

Allow the stillness to find you.

To touch you. To whisper to you.

The stillness will move you.

You’ll cease to seek because you’ll know you’ve been found.

I hope you enjoyed this moment of stillness :-)

Photo Credit: Studebaker2008

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Just a ride

I remember one day in the mid 1970s like it was yesterday. It was a sunny, autumn day on Granite Hill Road, near the town of Trout Creek in northern Ontario. My mother, two sisters and I had taken our horses for a ride along the country roads to admire the colours of the trees. There were vibrant reds, yellows and orange as far as the eye could see.

I was perched atop my Palomino horse named Gypsy, sitting high in the saddle, rocking from side to side as we ambled casually behind the others. The horses were perky, their heads bobbed in rhythm to the sound of their hooves on the gravel road. Long tails swished at flies and their heads would turn occasionally, ears pointed, alert and curious about this world outside their pasture.

Mom rode at the front of the group and would point out birds or other wildlife to us. We saw a lot of killdeer and groundhogs in the pasture, and the usual chipmunks and squirrels running along the cedar rail fences.

Gypsy’s easy pace carried me down the road. I was relaxed in the saddle. Comfortable. The farmhouse and pasture disappeared from view and the trees thickened.

There was no traffic. We settled into silence, travelling farther into the thick of the tree growth. The road appeared to narrow as the tree line moved closer.

A couple of miles up the road mom turned her horse to the left to lead us down another road. This road was even less travelled and more narrow. Grass was growing in the centre between tire tracks. The forest was thicker here and I stared through the trees lost in thought. It was beautiful. Peaceful. One of those moments that you wish would last forever.

Time to turn around

We’d ridden for about five minutes before I heard my mom’s voice calling out. I saw her turn her horse around suddenly and my sisters horses followed suit. I didn’t know what was happening until mom’s horse met mine.

“Turn Gypsy around. There’s a bear coming down the road towards us!” was all she had to say. That’s all I needed to hear. Me and my bear phobia sprang into action.

The horses broke into a canter and I struggled to keep my balance. I wasn’t the best rider. I grabbed the saddle horn to steady myself and lost control of the reigns.

All I could think about was not falling off and being left behind, especially if there was a bear coming. The thought of hitting the ground was the farthest thing from my mind. The bear was not.

Everything was moving in slow motion. I was aware of the trees alongside the road passing in a blur. Gypsy cantered behind the others and I was now clinging to her. My feet had come out of the stirrups.

I don’t remember falling off. I don’t remember hitting the road. All I remember is shortly afterwards, climbing up on my sister’s horse to ride the rest of the way behind her. The bear was probably long gone and I imagine that it ran the other way when it caught our scent. At any rate, mom wasn’t taking any chances. We headed home.

Heading home

Our ride wasn’t over though. We reached the corner of the pasture, falling in line of sight with none other than a bull moose. He was watching us intently.

The horses snorted nervously. They didn’t want to go any further and danced sideways in an effort to create more distance between us and the moose on the other side of the fence. Eventually we managed to get the horses to move forward. Now the moose was following us, advancing towards the fence and then retreating.

We kept riding. Occasionally I’d glance behind just to make sure that the bear wasn’t on our tail. No sign of him. There was just the moose to worry about. Much to our relief, his curiosity was short-lived and we were able to put more distance between us.

I was a nervous wreck by the time we arrived home. My legs were like jelly but somehow I managed to lower myself from my sister’s horse and grab Gypsy’s reigns. She had followed us back to the barn.

To this day, I can vividly remember the blur of the passing trees as I clung to the saddle. Why am I telling this story?

Because I was reminded of how sometimes in life we hit rough patches; times when things change and move so quickly that we have no choice but to go for the ride.

It usually happens when you become complacent, thinking you have life under control. Then things shift and suddenly life runs away with you. All you can do is hold on and head towards home. Whatever “home” feels like to you. It’s always there — that centre — somewhere inside of you. That is one thing that will never change and sometimes the only thing you can hold on to.

Photo credit 1: Nature Visions

Photo credit 2: Just Chaos

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His picture is worth 1,000 92 words

I took this photograph of the moon on Christmas Eve and emailed it to a friend. It’s not the greatest quality because I took it with an inexpensive digital camera, but I’m glad I took it. I like the angle of the half moon and how the tip at the top is cut off. It’s different.

During the summer I went for a walk one day and it started to rain, causing the most beautiful double rainbow I’d ever seen. I remember standing on the corner looking up at it. The sky was brilliant blue and the colours of the rainbows were vibrant. I wished then that I had brought my camera with me.

When I saw this moon on Christmas Eve I was glad my camera was close by so that I could take the picture. Okay, so it’s not the first moon I’ve ever seen, but this one felt special somehow.

Maybe it was just that night that was special, beyond the moon itself. It was quiet, crisp and cold. The sky was clear and starry. The moon posed in the west, waiting.

I had to laugh though; there I was, standing in the parking lot behind the apartment building with the camera poised in front of my face, peering through the lens. I zoomed in as far as I could but wasn’t satisfied, so I took some steps closer to the moon.

As if 10 steps are going to make a difference! Couldn’t see the man in the moon, so I accepted that this was as good as it was going to get.

Seize the moment

My friend decided he’d take his own picture of this moon. Not long after, I received the following email from him:

“I went outside to look at the moon. What a great picture this will be with the halo. Yes, I will read my camera manual and figure out how to do a long shutter speed. Dug out the tripod to make this picture perfect. Set up tripod and mounted camera and went upstairs and turned on camera to find out the batteries were dead. Replace the batteries and went outside to no moon. It just set behind the mountains. SHIT!!!! Perfection is not what it is all cracked up to be.”

Sometimes you just have to seize the moment.

Vancouver’s H.R. MacMillan Space Centre is only about a 40-minute walk from my apartment and looking at the moon, stars and planets would fascinate me. So why haven’t I done this yet? It’s about time I made this happen and Mother Nature needs to clear the clouds from the skies to allow it.

Should be able to see Mars in the southeast at this time of year. Weather forecast for next weekend is for partly cloudy skies. I feel like I’m on call. Nothing like waiting to seize the moment.

How much have you missed because you weren’t prepared?
What are you waiting for?

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World Party sings it

Listen here:

And if you listen now
You might hear
A new sound coming in
As an old one disappears
See the world in just one grain of sand
You better take a closer look
Don’t let it slip right thru your hand
Won’t you please hear the call
The world says

(CHORUS)

Put the message in the box
Put the box into the car
Drive the car around the world
Until you get heard

Now is the moment
Please understand
The road is wide open
To the heart of every man
A few simple words
So a mule could understand
He don’t want tomorrow
If it’s just crumbling into sand
Won’t you please hear the call
She says

(CHORUS)

Until you get heard
The world says
Give a little bit
Give a little bit of your love to me
Cos I’m waiting right here with my open arms
Give a little bit
Give a little bit of your soul to me
Cos I’m waiting to behold your many charms
Is that love in the air?
She says

CHORUS

Unwrap your message

This song was released almost 10 years ago and until about a week ago, I had never heard it.

After listening to this countless times, I could probably sing this song in my sleep now. It gets to me and it’s hard to explain how.

Maybe that’s a good thing. I know from my personal experience, when I CAN explain something I can easily forget it or take it for granted. I put my explanation in a box and store it away while I go in pursuit of the next question and answer adventure.

Perhaps that’s why I’ve listened to this song so many times. It’s the experience of the listening and not trying to figure out what it means that moves me. Just being with it and letting it sing to me. Letting it unfold.

When I listen to this song and sing the lyrics I feel that everything is okay just as it is. I visualize myself driving my car around the world with no worries about where I will sleep or where my next meal will come from.

I feel connected to that little girl who had just been laid into the back of the family station wagon at 5 am on a cold, foggy morning; ready to make the long drive with her sisters to the Canadian National Exhibition. Off on an adventure.

And what’s interesting about that when I reflect back on the memory; it is like there was nothing to put in the box. It was more about letting it all out of the box.

What are you taking out of your box for this coming year? I’m sure you’ve already packed a lot of goodies in there that you’ve forgotten about. What message do they have for you?

And if you listen now
You might hear
A new sound coming in
As an old one disappears…

Thank you for sharing YOUR messages over this past year. I’ve delighted in each and every comment.

Season’s Greetings to all of you and all the best for your upcoming year. Thank you for being YOU.

Photo Credit: Sarah G

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The right words

A haiku is an unrhymed Japanese poem; a fixed 17-syllable form where the first and third lines are composed of five syllables and the second line is composed of seven syllables. It is commonly written on a subject drawn from nature.

If you’ve been sharing my blog for some time, you know how much I am inspired by nature. Recently, I’ve found myself in a period of uncertainty where I’ve been questioning my life; where I’m headed; what’s next. I don’t have any answers at this point. There are more questions than anything else.

Perhaps it’s the winter season that inspires more self-reflection. Mother Nature works in mysterious ways and how can we not be affected by her?

In an effort to unleash some of what I’ve been feeling, I’ve composed and organized seven haikus into the following verse. I still don’t have any answers about the space I’m in. But this exercise helped release something. Instead of avoiding the “unknowing” I’ve at least been able to express it.

Everything but what

Here we go again.
Period of nothingness.
Anywhere but here.

Unforgettable.
The emptiness engulfs me.
I can hardly breathe.

Weathering a storm.
This pattern complicates me.
Bigger than myself.

Tangled in a web.
A radical difference.
Preliminary.

Stepping carefully.
Wonder where I’m going to.
Curiosity.

Empty crevices.
Preparatory stepping.
Someone needs a hug.

Searching for the truth.
I know not where it calls me,
Haiku, take me home.

Photo credit: Sudhamshu

When you’re feeling stuck what works for you?

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